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MCI/early Alzheimers

Posted by willow8 @willow8, 16 hours ago

First, I want to say how much I appreciate this group. It is always a comfort to read the stories here. It makes me feel not so alone. My husband has been diagnosed with MCI due to Alzheimers. His abilities are starting to decline and he has almost no immediate memory. He will ask me over and over the same things 3 or 4 times in 15 minutes. He is still driving and doing okay with that locally, although he does sometimes get lost now even going to familiar places. My biggest problem is he still thinks he can do everything he has always done. He does not realize how confused he gets. He could not really live alone anymore. How do you help a person understand that they need help. He wants to take a trip to meet someone to fish and the drive would be 3 hours. I am still working and unable to go. When I told him I did not think it was a good idea he got very angry and suggested I stop telling him what to do. Then he said I could just leave. The other day he wanted to fix the electrical part of the garage door opener and since it was dealing with electricity, I told him I thought we should get an electrician to do it. This is something he could have formerly done. He asked me if I thought he was an idiot and blew up about that. I can answer questions all day and listen to the same stories over and over, but I do not know how to handle his anger and keeping him safe. I would appreciate any suggestions.

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rebeccagrover | @rebeccagrover | 11 hours ago

You poor girl- im in about the same boat with m6 husband right now…except i have no formal dianisis- i wish 8 knew the answers you are looking for— its hard to keep the, safe when they think they are fine but arent. I wish younthe best and look forward to everyones commemts- sincerely becca

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rebeccagrover | @rebeccagrover | 11 hours ago

Sorry about my auto correct!

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lkbous | @lkbous | 8 hours ago

@willow8 You will never be able to make him understand that he needs help with stuff. All you can do is subtly offer your help in a circumstance. Get used to grouchy, self deprecating resistance to so many things... It is tricky to transition to getting them to allow outsiders to repair things that they cannot repair any longer, just try to ease into the positive ways that someone who has professional knowledge could get it done in a shorter period of time, and maybe age plays into the repair (not dementia) and that this particular repair is more dangerous than other repairs...
The anger is his frustration with the disease and his lack of the understanding that he used to enjoy. You will have to grow thicker skin, unfortunately, and just try to not engage with him when he's yelling at you, (easier said than done).
I don't know what to tell you about the 3 hour drive he wants to do alone. My husband still drives, also, and gets confused sometimes. He knows he can't drive long distance or on freeways because we've eased him into that knowledge over some time. I'm really uncomfortable with him driving, as it is a dangerous liability, and one that I am dreading to delve into. His car is suddenly on the fritz this weekend and I'm thinking that this could be a Godsend, but we'll see.
That's my 2 cents for the day. I wish you luck and peace.

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lkbous | @lkbous | 56 minutes ago
In reply to @lkbous "@willow8 You will never be able to make him understand that he needs help with stuff...." + (show)
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@willow8 You will never be able to make him understand that he needs help with stuff. All you can do is subtly offer your help in a circumstance. Get used to grouchy, self deprecating resistance to so many things... It is tricky to transition to getting them to allow outsiders to repair things that they cannot repair any longer, just try to ease into the positive ways that someone who has professional knowledge could get it done in a shorter period of time, and maybe age plays into the repair (not dementia) and that this particular repair is more dangerous than other repairs...
The anger is his frustration with the disease and his lack of the understanding that he used to enjoy. You will have to grow thicker skin, unfortunately, and just try to not engage with him when he's yelling at you, (easier said than done).
I don't know what to tell you about the 3 hour drive he wants to do alone. My husband still drives, also, and gets confused sometimes. He knows he can't drive long distance or on freeways because we've eased him into that knowledge over some time. I'm really uncomfortable with him driving, as it is a dangerous liability, and one that I am dreading to delve into. His car is suddenly on the fritz this weekend and I'm thinking that this could be a Godsend, but we'll see.
That's my 2 cents for the day. I wish you luck and peace.

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@willow8 I just thought of something I didn’t realize that I do, when I was responding earlier. When I’m trying to convince him of something we need to do or get, I talk a little excitedly to him about new aspects or ideas of the project/purchase. And make like we’ve been on board/excited together trying to sort it out. Sometimes it helps. 🤷‍♀️

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