Anyone feel they made major life mistakes that are not forgivable?

@isadora2021 I don’t have many friends and no extended family so my social experience is very limited. Do you know people who have married without love?

@slarson14 Thank you-I needed this!
I have two grown sons who are married with children who I love deeply. I am pretty hands off with regard to giving advice or interjecting my opinions, but cannot help but worry about their well being. This strikes in the middle of the night, which I have labeled as the “circle of worry”. My one son’s children eat so much sugar and processed food (even though their mother is a pediatrician) and my son himself consumes way too much red meat, bacon and deli meat. This is one small example. Even as I’m typing this, it seems silly!
I am fully aware that worry changes nothing and is harmful to my health, but it’s difficult to turn it off. Your post will help me and I will be rereading it. Thank you again! Cindy

@cmdw2600
I'm 73 now. I ate too much sugar as a kid even though my mom made the Kool aid with half the sugar in the directions. I would eat half of a loaf of white bread cinnamon toast (buttered with sugar and cinnamon) at a time. I ate sugar pops, frosted flakes, sugar crisp, etc. I ate peanut butter and jelly nearly every day. Hot dogs and cold cuts were always in our fridge. As I got older, fast food, bacon sausage and most processed meat was part of my diet. I ate beef as often as I could afford. It's only when I reached my 60's that I focused more on eating healthier. I still eat bacon, hot dogs and sausage occasionally as well as a sub sandwich. I eat less beef but still order a prime rib or hamburger when dining out. My mom lived to 101. I'm relatively healthy other than a recent PMR diagnosis. I have a tendency to test high for cholesterol and triglycerides but that is more genetic than dietary for me. My arteries are clear. Genetics is a huge factor in our health and unless you know of some family history that is concerning, try to relax a bit and enjoy your family without judgement. You don't have to contribute to the dietary concerns you have for them but you need to understand that the only change you control is yourself and your worry. Worry will affect your health as much as anything.

@kjoed53

Me too, only mom didt reduce sugar by half!

It seems we impose ideals on ourselves while Life has other plans for us. When Life takes over and kicks our ideals and expectations to the curb, we decide we have failed and live in regret. Wrong!
Did you do the best you could with what you had? Did you learn from your experiences and become a better person for the next time? Were your ideals fantasy or reality based? Were they YOUR ideals, or did someone else infuse you with them?
My "grandma" Lillian, who lived to 105, always repeated, "When your desires exceed your expectations, then you desires will exceed your expectations!"
If you want a more entertaining version, watch Albert Brooks' DEFENDING YOUR LIFE.
A song : Karen Akers Life (is how the time goes by).
Yul Brunner It's A Puzzlement from the King and I.
It's philosophical and much more of a complex mystery than "I screwed up, made a mess, and now live in regret."
Piaf Non, je ne regrette rien. I regret nothing.

elainer I thought I was reading about me. I'm not in my sixties but 84 so you could be my daughter. My oldest daughter is 61. I wish I could stop thinking about what I should or could have done in my life. I think there is something about being a Jewish only child. I was expected to get married and have a family but that's all that was expected of me, especially in my era. My first marriage to my high school sweetheart ended in divorce. We had two daughters. Since I thought I was supposed to be married I married someone else too soon afterward. We have been married for 51 years but were separated twice. My 61 year old daughter was widowed instantly in December of 2024. One minute her husband was in the kitchen the next he was gone. I was just visiting for Passover and asked her if she would ever marry again and she said no. This was her only boyfriend that she met her first day of college. I wish I had done more with my life.

@cmdw2600
I'm 73 now. I ate too much sugar as a kid even though my mom made the Kool aid with half the sugar in the directions. I would eat half of a loaf of white bread cinnamon toast (buttered with sugar and cinnamon) at a time. I ate sugar pops, frosted flakes, sugar crisp, etc. I ate peanut butter and jelly nearly every day. Hot dogs and cold cuts were always in our fridge. As I got older, fast food, bacon sausage and most processed meat was part of my diet. I ate beef as often as I could afford. It's only when I reached my 60's that I focused more on eating healthier. I still eat bacon, hot dogs and sausage occasionally as well as a sub sandwich. I eat less beef but still order a prime rib or hamburger when dining out. My mom lived to 101. I'm relatively healthy other than a recent PMR diagnosis. I have a tendency to test high for cholesterol and triglycerides but that is more genetic than dietary for me. My arteries are clear. Genetics is a huge factor in our health and unless you know of some family history that is concerning, try to relax a bit and enjoy your family without judgement. You don't have to contribute to the dietary concerns you have for them but you need to understand that the only change you control is yourself and your worry. Worry will affect your health as much as anything.

@gussie
You Too sound like So Many of my childhood, College, & young Adult Friends. & I Too am in my 80's (in another 2 years - 90). Although my family wasn't Jewish, 2 of my BEST Friends Were. They followed the "1960's Script for Young Women" ... & both were divorced before our 30th Birthdays. I was standing by to watch the heartbreak in their family's.
Both my Parents (born shortly after 'the turn of the 20th Century') fell into the Marriage Trap when they were young. Both divorced #1, & re-married +- age 30. They Both cautioned my brother & me against marrying before finishing our Education, getting out in the world, enjoying the Freedom of being "foot-loose & fancy-free", & gaining a little of the wisdom that comes with Maturity.
Parents Need to start those lessons when their children are very Young, point out the advantages & Pit-Falls if you Rush into marriage too soon. I think one of the Most Important lessons my Father passed on to me was: 'If You Meet someone when you're young & You & this person 'Fall In Love', it It's For Real, you'll both wait for one another.' He Was So Right. I met My Husband when I was 14. I remember saying to myself, "When I grow up & I'm Ready to get Married, I want to find someone JUST LIKE HIM! & You'll Never Guess ... He Waited For Me to reach the age when I was ready to say "Yes". I was 28 when we walked down the Aisle ... & I consider myself "One Of The Lucky Ones". We had a little over 30 years together.
Before he died, he told me: 'After a period of Mourning I should look for another Husband & re-marry'. Well, That Was 32 years ago, & I haven't found anyone yet! If That's A Measure of True Love, I guess maybe We Had It!

@kjoed53 I loved reading this and you are so right! What we’re born with plays such an important role in our health and longevity. I don’t feel that I judge my family members-simply have concern/worry. I definitely don’t want to alienate anyone by voicing an opinion and I know I wouldn’t appreciate dietary advice myself. I have a glass of wine with dinner every night and don’t want anyone to tell me not to.

I have a friend (male) who is obese, 84 years old and has had the pig valve replacement a decade ago. He eats horribly and gets no exercise. Genetics are not good either, but I think his secret is that he seems to not worry about anything! I truly believe that this has added years to his life.

I’ll do better tomorrow! 🤞🏻