As a caregiver, what helps you the most?

I am happy for you but also I am jealous that you can go for walks. There is no way that I can leave my husband alone. My husband is 90 with Alzheimer's disease and there is the constant fear of him either falling or running away. I must take him every place I go. I have looked into someone coming in to look after him but there is a minimum number of hours at $45-$50 an hour. So, it would run around $500.00 a week for a few hours and it would have to be consistent. Also, when I brought this possibility up to him he said NO WAY and he said he would run away before he would have a babysitter. Caregiving is a challenge.

Hi. I ❤️listening to soft/smooth jazz music. My dog really makes me happy- Im in the learning stage of feeding him homemade food, so this takes time to prepare, its fun & a distressor for me!! Also, I look at alot of youtude videos to enhance my investment skills- bets paying for those wild investment workshops. Lastly, I read my inspirational quotes- keeps life going!

Hope you have a nice weekend!

#WeAreCaregivers

@katrina123 ,
I'm so sorry that your husband has Alzheimers. That is so hard for both of you. I admire you for taking care of your husband and not putting him in a nursing home. I realize how hard it is for you not to have some time for yourself but realistically you may have a lot of time in the future. Just love your husband and be glad that he is still with you. My husband died at age 83 of lung cancer in 2024. I miss him terribly but am so happy we had 30 years together. Enjoy your time with your husband and let him know that you love him. He is going through a very hard time now. He realizes that something is wrong with him and it isn't going away. That is very frightening for a person. I think that is awful that they wanted to charge you so much to come and be with him for a short while. That's not right.
One thing that helped my husband and I a lot was prayer. I'll say a prayer for both of you.
I wish you the best.
PML

@katrina123 I’m so sorry. Alzheimer’s is so hard on everyone. I hope you can find a way to get some respite.

I also find reading a good ‘escape’ sometimes. I’ve always been an avid reader though.
Are you a reader?

@332664utc Music can be very therapeutic.
Dogs really are good for our souls! I'm glad yours is helping you, as mine does me.

My husband has stage 4 colon cancer. After his last PET scan they told us we are “nearing the end of treatment options”. He is not in a lot of pain thankfully. I am grieving everyday for what we had
We have a yellow lab who is a big comfort. We have children snd grandchildren near who visit
We also found out in July that i have bone marrow cancer. My biggest fear is dyeing before my husband. Who would care for him. I think the unknowns are the hardest to deal with

My husband has End Stage Renal Disease, on home peritoneal dialysis, as a result of kidney damage from chemo he was allergic to. That was for inoperable pancreatic cancer that, very oddly, has been slow growing. He is also diabetic, with no sense of when his glucose is low or high. We finally got him on one of those Freestyle Libré 3 continuous glucose monitors and I can get his readings and alerts on my phone. From so many hospitalizations his lumbar spine has gone stenosis, which is very painful any time he moves. He is bent double and his ability to get around is getting worse. He also seems to be having more instances of brain fog. It has been four years since the pancreatic cancer diagnosis, with things get progressively more complicated. Now he needs wound care for a foot wound he did not even know he had because of the diabetic neuropathy in his feet.
I'm pretty positive, and am grateful that I have been able to take care of him, but I see myself wearing down, and by the late afternoon I'm pretty much toast. Learning to cook once and eat thrice has been helpful, but cooking, per se, is not so much fun any more because my energy is already committed to helping him, managing his dialysis set-up daily and the supplies for it monthly, the medications, the wound care, taking care of the house, and all the rest, which you all know all too well.
Two things I have done for myself lately are to connect with a caregiver's group locally, which has been wonderful, and hiring someone to come in and do some cleaning weekly so I can do the stuff that only I can do. I'm also taking more naps. My husband is always encouraging me to go take a nap. That's so sweet and I love that he's trying to take care of me back, but at this point he is clueless of all that has to be done. So I just hug him and tell him I'll do it soon.
The state has an agency on aging, with resource directories. I also searched online for caregiver resources local to me. I found an Elder Network that has very caring people and good resources that I expect I will look into more and more. They host the Caregiver's support group I attend when I can.
My spiritual path teaches me that my biggest job is forgiveness, whether it be for my husband's inability to do anything quickly, or not wanting to take his meds I so carefully organize and present to him several times a day; for the lines at the grocery store; how long it takes to do something simple; for the insanity of the world these days; for my personal challenges, like distractibility; my piles of paper, technical challenges, etc. This object of my forgiveness does not have to deserve to be forgiven, and often may be oblivious to there being something (in my mind) to forgive, The forgiveness is for me. If I think most people are doing the best they can with what they think they know, then it is only in my mind that they might have done something wrong. I can let that opinion, conception, whatever, bug or obsess me, become a grudge I carry, and keep me frozen in some way, or I can forgive it and let it go, and focus on what is right in front of me - a dear person for whom I have the chance to make the end of life better, and my own, as well, with hopefully no regrets down the road. And on the days when it is all too much, a good shower cry can be very cathartic, and remind me that my faith is carrying me.
Blessing to us all!

When I’m feeling sorry for my wife and I
I know that there are always people who are a lot worse off…. As is more pain and loss

@myacim, I'm sorry that your husband is so ill. That is hard on both of you! But good for you for taking such obviously good care of him! And how sweet he is suggesting you take a nap for a while! This is a hard time for you both but you will get through it with God's help. I'm glad you have your faith!

My husband had lung cancer and I took care of him until he died in 2024. I remember well, like you mentioned doing everything from cooking, cleaning, caring for him and doing his medications, appointments etc. But we had our love for each other and God's help through it all. I know he's up in Heaven and we'll be together eventually in God's time. It is lonely being without him but we had a wonderful 30 years together and I'm grateful for that.

I admire you for being there for your husband. Also it's so nice to see the love you two have for each other. Keep praying and things will get easier. I'll say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML

@katrina123
You are so right. I feel trapped in the house. I have a friend who helps. I am so tired and feeling discouraged at times. My spouse is so difficult to even have a conversation with. You never know what will trigger him. I wish I had more then picking up yard trash, and putting trash and recycle out. Mail has to be addressed as well. He tells me how to do things. I let it go out one ear and move on. I have been doing everything for a long time. I am just tired. Like they say" the Long Goodbye". He sleeps more then he used to . Not pleasant at times. No thank you are how are you most of the time. Keep moving on.. as it is the only way to manage it.