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As a caregiver, what helps you the most?
Caregivers | Last Active: 1 day ago | Replies (40)Comment receiving replies
I am happy for you but also I am jealous that you can go for walks. There is no way that I can leave my husband alone. My husband is 90 with Alzheimer's disease and there is the constant fear of him either falling or running away. I must take him every place I go. I have looked into someone coming in to look after him but there is a minimum number of hours at $45-$50 an hour. So, it would run around $500.00 a week for a few hours and it would have to be consistent. Also, when I brought this possibility up to him he said NO WAY and he said he would run away before he would have a babysitter. Caregiving is a challenge.
Replies to "I am happy for you but also I am jealous that you can go for walks...."
@katrina123 I’m so sorry. Alzheimer’s is so hard on everyone. I hope you can find a way to get some respite.
I also find reading a good ‘escape’ sometimes. I’ve always been an avid reader though.
Are you a reader?
@katrina123
You are so right. I feel trapped in the house. I have a friend who helps. I am so tired and feeling discouraged at times. My spouse is so difficult to even have a conversation with. You never know what will trigger him. I wish I had more then picking up yard trash, and putting trash and recycle out. Mail has to be addressed as well. He tells me how to do things. I let it go out one ear and move on. I have been doing everything for a long time. I am just tired. Like they say" the Long Goodbye". He sleeps more then he used to . Not pleasant at times. No thank you are how are you most of the time. Keep moving on.. as it is the only way to manage it.
@katrina123
My local elder network has volunteers who will come for 2 or 3 hours, generally on a weekly basis, who would visit with my husband, play cards or a game with him, talk sports, or Civil War history, or whatever is of interest, or just watch TV. They try different volunteers until they find one who fits the client. They are all screened, of course, but there are lots of people who like visiting seniors and being truly helpful. These volunteers can't do anything medical, but are trained and will call first responders if needed. There are also paid non-medical companions for whom there is an income-based sliding scale who can do more. My county also has helpful resources, even finding a handy person who volunteers to help with small projects around the house. I'm amazed at the resources out there once you start looking. Might be worth looking into as part of finding what is sustainable for you.
Blessings and best wishes.
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@katrina123 ,
I'm so sorry that your husband has Alzheimers. That is so hard for both of you. I admire you for taking care of your husband and not putting him in a nursing home. I realize how hard it is for you not to have some time for yourself but realistically you may have a lot of time in the future. Just love your husband and be glad that he is still with you. My husband died at age 83 of lung cancer in 2024. I miss him terribly but am so happy we had 30 years together. Enjoy your time with your husband and let him know that you love him. He is going through a very hard time now. He realizes that something is wrong with him and it isn't going away. That is very frightening for a person. I think that is awful that they wanted to charge you so much to come and be with him for a short while. That's not right.
One thing that helped my husband and I a lot was prayer. I'll say a prayer for both of you.
I wish you the best.
PML