How do you caregive when someone with dementia has been unfaithful?

It's wonderful that your devotion has not been impacted, despite all that has happened.

May God strengthen you as you proceed on this journey.

Yes, through my faith and my belief in God has gotten me through. I am committed to my vows. He feels he dug his own hole and now the double life haunts him. We have a beautiful blended family and that makes me grateful for each day. All our children support me.

I wonder if anyone else has ever had to deal with this?

@scottrl Have you ever heard of this? The dementia has been like a truth serum.

@lulululu No, I can't say that I'm familiar with that.

Seems fairly accurate, in many ways.

I feel on an Island alone as no one else has had this experience. I do pretty well but about 4 PM it starts and he is looking for the other Jeannie and when I say I am the only Jeannie he gets really mad. I know he has no contact and he cognitively help it but it stills hurts when I am the total caregiver.

@lulululu You, poor sweetheart.
Could you contact his doctor about giving him something earlier in the afternoon to help with his sundowning?
You're not alone on that island.
My husband was doing the same thing a couple of years ago. It's very scary and hurtful; his sundowning usually started in the early afternoon and went late into the night. He would get upset and very agitated, and say, "He needs to get out of here, our house where we've lived more than twenty years or say he wanted me to leave.. He would look at photos of us and say, "That's Trisha, but YOU ARE NOT TRISHA"! His doctor prescribed Trazodone, which was some help when I could get him to take the pill.
Cannabis is legal in our state; one Sunday morning, I walked into a dispensary in tears and asked if they could help. They were very supportive and helpful, suggesting gummies that helped with relaxation and calming. In the early afternoon, before the agitation starts, I give him a small bowl of nuts and cut-up gummies. I call it "Trail mix". It doesn't make him "high" it just takes edge off. Our doctor at Mayo Clinic is aware and supportive of what I'm giving him.

@lulululu Jeannie, It is the disease. My husband is the same. He has me as two people. The woman who makes him do all the things he doesn’t want do and the one that is all smiles and hugs…. He will talk about the first one in not always a nice way, and will ask me when the other one is coming back. I have read that sometimes our loved one relates to us as in different time periods of our lives. I think the sweet younger lady is probably from our younger years and the older one is from now. At first this realization really hurt, but I know I can’t take it personally. I think he knows he needs both of us and I am sure your husband does too.

Would it be time to put him in a care home ?
Then you could visit but not be responsible 24 hrs a day.
Would it lessen the hurt? K

@trishaanderson I do give him seraqual but I have to sorta trick him. He takes 2 for memory so if I see it coming I give him Memory pill and 1/2 seraqual and put them in his mouth so he does not even know it. I only found out about the double life 5 years ago and he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 2.5 years ago. Thank you for advice. I may try the gummies.