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Not Incontinence but bathroom messes and clothes soiling

Posted by spolson53 @spolson53, Nov 22, 2024

My wife has been rogressing along the dementia path for several years now and is clearly at Stage 5. She is NOT incontinent, but every couple of weeks she will get totally confused in the main bathroom (tile floor fortunately) and I will find her standing surrounded with poop. She wears wool clogs and I have to run them in the machine to clean after this, using OxiClean along with detergent. One time that didn't total work on odor, so I used my ozone generator in a cardboard box to treat them. Fortunately that worked. The cleanup in the bathroom is major. But even worse is that she wears nothing but dresses and has given up on underwear. Not that it would make any difference. Her current dress has dried poop on it, on the inside surfaces. Fortunately, after it is dried, it doesn't seem to smell like dog poop would. But one can make out dicoloration on the outside of the dress that hints at an issue. She absolutely refuses to change her dress or be cleaned in any manner. To the point of becoming combative if you try and force the issue. On normal days, she does wipe herself but puts the tissue in a drawer, not the toilet. That is rritating but not the wrost problem. Who knows the condition of her body when she has the big blowout. She is on Lexapro daily, and the doctor has given me Ativan to give before trying to change clothes/bathe. The last blowout was after I gave that to her, so I am nervous about trying it again. We have a caregiver come in once a week, but that company has said they can assist, but can't make her do anything. It is mostly just to visit with her (they get along great). I am at a total loss as to what to do....

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mm180 | @mm180 | Mar 5 6:33am
In reply to @dlynng "I just want to say how thankful I am for this particular discussion thread, as my..." + (show)
Profile picture for dlynng @dlynng

I just want to say how thankful I am for this particular discussion thread, as my husband just had his first bowel accident. He is not incontinent, so I was very surprised. We are currently on a short trip out-of-state, staying in a very homey B&B. This morning he went into the bathroom as usual, and after I hear the shower running, I assumed he had finished his business and moved to the shower. But instead, he was outside the tub, working to clean up a BIG mess that was in the bathtub, and also rinsing out his pajama bottoms. He said he had no idea how it happened. He was cooperative when I cleaned him up and also patient and calm while I cleaned up the entire mess.

Then he took his shower without any problems.

I don’t know if I should start to prepare by purchasing some adult diapers to have on hand. This would be totally new for him, and I don’t want to upset him while we’re traveling.

I’m hoping it might be a one-off incident, due to being in a different place, but it certainly caught be off guard.

He is in the moderate range of Alzheimer’s, but doing well in most aspects of life.

Any tips or advice would be appreciated!

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@dlynng
My husband recently had a similar issue. He was standing and urinating when he said he “sharted” and soiled his undershorts and pants. It made quite a big mess and seemed more than a “wet fart” but he didn’t seem too upset by the situation. We got it all cleaned up and got him in the shower and I reminded him that it’s best if he sits when he urinates (he has visual impairment from glaucoma and his aim is terrible). 😞 He does have a lot of urinary urgency and says “it just starts” sometimes so I think we are headed towards urinary incontinence. It’s worse when he is away from home, so we started using the urinary pad liners in his undershorts whenever we will be out of the house for a period of time. I am hoping the shart incident was a “one off” but I want to start easing him towards a more comfortable attitude towards incontinence aids so when we need adult diapers it won’t be a hard transition. I was lucky that we were at home with the convenience of the washer and dryer and cleaning supplies. It would be harder traveling! I wonder if your husband just forgot to take off his pajama bottoms when he sat down to do his business? Dementia pops up in all kinds of surprising ways.

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dlynng | @dlynng | Mar 5 11:03am
In reply to @mm180 "@dlynng My husband recently had a similar issue. He was standing and urinating when he said..." + (show)
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@dlynng
My husband recently had a similar issue. He was standing and urinating when he said he “sharted” and soiled his undershorts and pants. It made quite a big mess and seemed more than a “wet fart” but he didn’t seem too upset by the situation. We got it all cleaned up and got him in the shower and I reminded him that it’s best if he sits when he urinates (he has visual impairment from glaucoma and his aim is terrible). 😞 He does have a lot of urinary urgency and says “it just starts” sometimes so I think we are headed towards urinary incontinence. It’s worse when he is away from home, so we started using the urinary pad liners in his undershorts whenever we will be out of the house for a period of time. I am hoping the shart incident was a “one off” but I want to start easing him towards a more comfortable attitude towards incontinence aids so when we need adult diapers it won’t be a hard transition. I was lucky that we were at home with the convenience of the washer and dryer and cleaning supplies. It would be harder traveling! I wonder if your husband just forgot to take off his pajama bottoms when he sat down to do his business? Dementia pops up in all kinds of surprising ways.

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@mm180 Thanks so much for sharing your experience. And now that I think about the event again, it is possible that he forgot to pull down his pj bottoms, because when I asked him what happened, he said “I have no idea.” And when I suggested that perhaps he was standing in the bathtub when this occurred, he said “No, absolutely not.” So perhaps what you wrote is what occurred. I’ve been very careful since then to make sure he’s at the toilet when he needs to go, and he absolutely has been every time.

I also appreciate your approach to having him sit when he urinates, since my husband’s aim is sometimes great and sometimes a bit off.

Thank you - it’s so good to have this place to learn from other’s experiences!

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141942 | @141942 | Mar 6 3:40pm
In reply to @dlynng "@mm180 Thanks so much for sharing your experience. And now that I think about the event..." + (show)
Profile picture for dlynng @dlynng

@mm180 Thanks so much for sharing your experience. And now that I think about the event again, it is possible that he forgot to pull down his pj bottoms, because when I asked him what happened, he said “I have no idea.” And when I suggested that perhaps he was standing in the bathtub when this occurred, he said “No, absolutely not.” So perhaps what you wrote is what occurred. I’ve been very careful since then to make sure he’s at the toilet when he needs to go, and he absolutely has been every time.

I also appreciate your approach to having him sit when he urinates, since my husband’s aim is sometimes great and sometimes a bit off.

Thank you - it’s so good to have this place to learn from other’s experiences!

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@dlynng just a guy's experience. I had prostate surgery 25 years ago and my aim has been terrible ever since. Sit when at home or when a urinal is not available. Just the way it is.....

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