Long-term depression

@jimhd Thank you for making this comment. It certainly makes sense, believe it or not. I am very glad that you spoke up and said this. I will share with you that yesterday, as I was on a shuttle, all of the sudden as the last passenger to be delivered to location, the driver opened up to me and shared some very personal things,. Among those was the fact that he often considers suicide. By golly it was quite a revelation, very unexpected, and I had to put on my compassionate thinking cap real fast! This was at the end of an 18-hour day. We stood on the sidewalk and talked. I have no idea what I might have said, except that at the end he was glad that he had said something to me. I did urge him to think about all of the things he has to put in place if he was going to consider this, and he mentioned how it would hurt his son. I realized that was his Achilles heel and went in that direction. I hope to be able to reach out to him again.
Ginger

@johnhans It's a lot of work, isn't it, to keep the deep dark thoughts at bay? I have had depression, too, and know that it takes work everyday to deal with it. While I have not had suicidal ideations I can certainly understand how people can get to that point in their lives. You do us all a great service by posting here and talking to us, just like @jimhd does. I really think that having the two of you post has helped make a difference in lives of others.
Ginger

@jimhd
Wishing you well with your appointment, Jim. It sounds like a long day and I hope you enjoy it!

@hopeful33250 , @amberpep

Thursday I had the appointment to have my thumb and shoulder looked at. The doctor recommended PT for my shoulder, and injected cortisone in the thumb to hand joint. By now it isn't hurting anymore, but it was a high price to pay for that. I'll put off having that done as long as possible. It REALLY, REALLY HURT!!! I think that after he got the syringe in, he injected cortisone in 4 places. He did it with x-ray guidance so he could put it in just the right places. I remember years ago, when I hit my finger with a hammer, and just hollered ouch!, The man I was working with said, "I bet there are times when you wish you weren't a minister".

On Friday I had an MRI of my lower back. I had told the doctor that I was claustrophobic, but all she prescribed was 1mg of Ativan. I already take its sister, Clonazepam, and Ativan was on my list of drug allergies, but it had absolutely no effect on me. When I first started going into the machine I started to have a panic attack, but I closed my eyes and focused on what chords I could play with a few songs. I was able to maintain the mental distraction and had no problems.

I talked with the pharmacist about it, and she suggested asking the doctor to prescribe an injection for my next MRI, coming up in a couple of weeks. This next one is a scan of my brain, on a new machine that gives better resolution than the one I had on an older MRI.

I don't know how many people in this discussion have had panic attacks, but I've had numerous ones, and believe me, they're no fun at all.

Time for my Sunday afternoon nap. Thank you all for your responses.

Jim

@jimhd - that sounds super scary having a panic attack when going into the MRI machine. Wow that you controlled it by yourself with some mental distraction. I know that @johnhans has talked about experiencing a panic attack before and may be able to relate to something like what you experienced going into the imaging session.

@lisalucier Fortunately, I felt the panic start just as my head went into the machine. I wasn't sure how long I'd last. After only a second or two I closed my eyes and focused on chord options for a few songs we sing at church. I held a panic button but didn't have to use it.

I was in the hospital when I reacted to Lyrica, and they put an NG tube in. I've had them several times over the years, and it doesn't get any more fun. That evening I felt like my heart was racing like it did in the ER. I had a heart monitor, but it didn't ring any alarms. I finally figured out that I was having a panic attack because of the NG tube. As soon as they took it out, I began feeling better. Anyone who's had one knows that they don't stop instantly.

What I've found that helps me is to pray. Sometimes it's a long prayer.

Jim

For me a panic attack was a full-blown, overwhelming feeling of dread. I felt like someone who was being attacked by a killer. I could not do anything but scream and was unable to run. I would not want one of those in an MRI. I did almost get stuck in one once. I was so big I was scraping the sides when I went in. I felt like a sardine in a can. When they tried to get me out, they were having a problem with me not coming out. They were very reassuring and manipulated me enough to get me out. Fortunately my meds were working to keep me from panicking. I find the better my depression is under control, the better my anxiety is under control. Yes @jimhd prayer does always help me.

@johnhans

They are certainly small spaces. I'm glad I didn't have to raise my arms up over my head this time. Because of bursitis in my shoulder, that's painful.

It's kind of hard to explain how I feel during a panic attack. My heart is racing, I have a sense of impending doom, I feel like I'm being smothered and can't breathe, and I think I have the urge to scream or something. It's not a pleasant experience, is it.

Jim

@johnhans

They are certainly small spaces. I'm glad I didn't have to raise my arms up over my head this time. Because of bursitis in my shoulder, that's painful.

It's kind of hard to explain how I feel during a panic attack. My heart is racing, I have a sense of impending doom, I feel like I'm being smothered and can't breathe, and I think I have the urge to scream or something. It's not a pleasant experience, is it.

Jim

@jimhd I get claustrophobic; MRI or CT machines are a nightmare for me. I try to ward off impending [extreme] discomfort by praying the test will show a good outcome. I sometimes "do" Tai Chi Chuan in my mind, or "draw" Zentangle patterns.
Ginger