Husband with Parkinson in memory care: We've never been separated

My husband of 37 years also has PD and related dementia (PD since 2018, dementia since 2021.) We're waiting for a space that will open up at a nearby memory care facility when its current resident moves out, probably in a month or so. I'm already grieving the loss that this is going to create for both of us. I have no idea how I'm going to adjust, but I also know this is the best thing for him. I'm still working full time (we're both 61) and he simply needs more help than I can provide when I'm with him on my own. Knowing the current situation is unsustainable doesn't make me feel any less guilty about handing off his care, of course.

You have had this along time. I commend you so much. It is hard struggle to see your love one going through this, but getting the care they need is a God send. God bless you both.

I am glad that you found this discussion on Mayo Connect, @pamjsa. I agree with @marcusandgizmo and commend you on the many years of caregiving. Caregiving is a challenging role to play. You obviously love your husband and have done your best, but I can see that you feel the time has come to relinquish the caregiving role so your husband can have the care he needs and you can get some rest.

I would encourage you to join another discussion group on Connect that is specifically for caregivers. Here is the link to those discussions:

https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers/ and
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers-dementia/
I look forward to hearing from you again. Will you continue to post and let us support you on this challenging journey?

I’m not careging anyone. I have a disorder too. It’s not as severe as my husband. I have a case of ataxia. It forbids me to do a lot. I do not know how I did this, but I did. He has gotten worse over time. I still commend you very much. I have had this disorder since breast cancer in 2008. My disorder is slow progressing. They think the treatment that was given, contributed to this.
I see my husband every other day. Visiting him brings me much joy.

@marcusandgizmo,

Could you share a little about how ataxia affects you?

It affects me walking, balance, talking, and writing. I have difficulty reading too! It has taken my life away. I use to be so active and a great spoke person. I have difficulty on the phone. I don’t drive anymore, cook and clean house. I want too, but I can’t! I use to do sewing and crafting. I have three great-grandson’s I can’t hold or kiss their little cheeks. I live with oldest daughter and son-in-law and they take me where I need to go. They take good care of me! Even my little poodle. I’m married, but husband has to me in memory care and requires assisted living. He suffers from Parkinson’s! God has something in store for me.