Okay, I need your responses and help with this one

I would make a virtual or office visit with the physician and explain what has happened . Yes, you are right they say things properly at times and other times are out in left field. Caregiving is hard. It sounds like you are in the beginning stages? My spouse said to his Physical Therapist that he was getting better with his Parkinsons since he had back surgery. That was last year. He cannot be angry, mean, dismissive . thinks I want to spend time outside of our home most of the day. He cannot hardly make it in a store for very long. I was able to speak with his PT and explained his timeline and illnesses are not as he depicts it. I am going to let him say whatever he chooses and wait outside in the waiting room. I refuse to have him get angry at me and pass it on like it was the truth. He is still ignoring the issue. I have learned to pick my battles. I will let him say whatever..as in the end he will make a scene and I look like I am controlling the narrative. My heart goes out to you. It is hard when they turn things on and off like a light switch. 🫂

Hi My wife keeps asking me to take her to a store that does not now nor ever did exist where we live. She refers to the fact we use to park behind it. There are 2 stores that we park behind but the one she refers to is not one of them. I suppose this will sort itself soon.

I try not to contradict Ken if it is not a matter of life and death. His doctor administered the MOCA TEST when we went in concerned about his memory. From then on she refers to us as a Team and I think that helps create the best attitude for the two of us. As a team we go to all his doctor appointments together. We go to his physio appointments and I say (while holding eye contact with her) that my husband has memory problems and to handle all correspondence etc. through me. She gets it. I find saying memory problems is currently less provoking. The word dementia would shut him down. Unless it is important, I let him say what he thinks without correcting him. Less stressful for both of us.

It’s like walking on a balance beam. It’s so hard not to correct someone who is obviously getting it wrong. My husband has Parkinson’s with dementia and delusions. He can wake up in the middle of the night and think that a person is climbing in the window or standing at the end of the bed. Look, he’s not working with a full deck any more! Rather than try to contradict him, I try to reassure him. I tell him I’ll check and then I let him know it’s okay. Once he was dreaming that we were in our boat and it was headed for the rocks. I told him that I was taking control of the wheel and I was steering the boat into the harbor and tying up at the dock and we were safe.He calmed down and went back to sleep.
I also just react occasionally and attempt to correct his misconception about something when he’s watching the news. It’s pretty useless! I have to remind myself to back off. He’s just not the person he was. This caregiving job was not something I expected to have in my late 70’s. Retirement, travel to see our children and grandchildren, enjoyable companionship after fifty years together, all gone. Thanks for listening.

I hear and understand what you are saying and living. It is tough when one starts to have difficulties in talking to our spouses. I know it makes me feel alone.

Yes!!

I agree with not correcting- it is not worth the arguments and frustrations. As a positive, it shows others - family, friends, doctors- that my husband has a cognitive disease.
He still does not admit he has a problem and I have to refer to everything as his “brain health” and the brain bleeding / plaque build up.
Little white lies also help.

The reaction you're having is, I think, common to all of us at the beginning of this awful journey with dementia. I know I went through it. My husband is further along in his dementia now, and I still correct him at times. But I try hard to only do it when it's at least somewhat important.

I know there is advice to never contradict someone with dementia—and that is likely good advice if the person gets upset or violent when corrected—but if that's not the case, I'm of the opinion that it's okay to correct them when it's important. The name of the grocery probably isn't important since you know what he's talking about. When that happens, you could just say "we're not going to Jewel today, we're going to Kroger/Walmart..." And when he referred to Egypt and India, you could have responded as if he had said "China and India," being sure to say "China" yourself. That would have clued him in to what it should be without directly correcting him.

So, what IS important? That's something everyone has to decide for themselves. I just don't agree with never correcting someone because I just think that when someone is confused, going along with that confusion reinforces it.

One thing to think about before correcting him is whether you would correct a friend, neighbor, or acquaintance if they said something that wasn't right. And like what I said about the grocery, redirecting in a way that saves him embarrassment can often work. Like when he was trying to enter the password, maybe you could have suggested he might need glasses (or new ones if he wears them) and can't see as well and then offered to enter the password yourself. (And who knows—in that case, maybe he really can't see as well as he used to and that's why he kept entering the wrong symbol.)

I gotta say, you sound a lot like me in that you expect people to know as much as you do, and it's hard not to speak up when they obviously don't—whether it's a husband with dementia or just someone who has never been the brightest bulb in the pack! When you said "he was telling me Trump had put high tariffs on EGYPT and India because they were buying Russian oil! We all know that it is China and India not EGYPT," I laughed a little because I am willing to bet money that there are a LOT of people in this country who don't know what countries were buying Russian oil—and not because they have dementia.

Anyway, I know that's a character flaw I have, and it's tough working around it now. All we can do is give it our best effort and use the smarts we still have to figure out ways to work with it. We might think we're so smart now, but we have to remember that dementia could also happen to us.

Add me to that feeling-alone list! It was harder for me at first, but it's still hard at times. I get irritated and grumpy and am VERY thankful for "chill pills." I don't take them every day, but when my nerves are completely shot, I pop half of one, usually at night so I can relax and sleep.

I understand completely. I’ve been with my significant other for over ten years. His sons are in their fifties and could care less about me. I’m pretty much all alone. Friends have disappeared. Let’s face it, we aren’t much fun as John is probably heading into the later stages of dementia. Thank God for my two kid, but they already took care of their own father who died of cancer. I just try to take it one day at a time knowing he will end up alone in memory care. He cries just thinking about it and so do I. We both hope and pray he dies before that. Why do we all insist on staying alive? Live longer for what? We should be able to die in peace. Sorry, not much help, but know you are not alone!