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Okay, I need your responses and help with this one
H. FINALLY has a doc. apt. Wednesday for his annual physical. Now I have already sent the doc some of my concerns but my problem is that H can, at times, be just normal, especially for short periods or when passing the time of day with neighbors.
For years, though, in the doc's office he hasn't understood things and I have explained it or told him I understand what the Doc is saying, but that can happen to any of us which is why it is always good to have another person with you.
Yesterday I wanted to rent Jurassic Park on Fandango, we have an account. H insisted on putting in the information, which he had trouble with as it took him 4 tries to get it right before we even got to the password. The password has a $ in it and H kept putting in a ? instead of the $ sign. When I pointed this out he claimed that the $ sign WAS the ? symbol and after so many tries he got locked out. He got very angry when I suggested that he let me put in the code.
Well, needless to say, we didn't get to watch that movie as the atmosphere, him getting grouchy, went down the tubes.
This morning I told him that there was, on the news, an explosion at a steel plant in PA. His response was: "boy, they really are going after those clinics". I had no idea what he was talking about and I can guarantee he didn't either even though he tried to tell me that he thought I said clinic instead of steel mill which isn't even close.
Friday he was telling me Trump had put high tariffs on EGYPT and India because they were buying Russian oil! We all know that it is China and India not EGYPT. When I said he must mean China, he got snarky and claims that he said China not EGYPT. Folks, I have my wits about me, and my hearing and I know what he said because he said it twice. And before that it was that Iran was attacking Ukraine, mixing up Iran with Russia.
HOW do I explain that kind of stuff to the doctor? At first, months back I thought this was a slip of the tongue etc., but it is far too common to be that know IMHO.
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Hi Becky, what you said to @kartwk makes good sense to me.
I’ve found an added benefit of PT is the patient will also get more human interaction, which seems to be an issue at least in our case. My husband is reluctant to join the wellness center (where he went and enjoyed PT) for some reason. I sure wish he would. His PCP just retired, and we have to wait till Oct to meet the new doctor, so….fingers crossed.
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4 ReactionsYour words sure resonate with me. I’m in the transition of knowing I shouldn’t disagree, but not quite there yet. For our 51 years of marriage, he’s always jokingly corrected our family’s grammar (it is rare that we goof, but it was a joke!) or other things….it has been kind of a joking, fun way to interact. So old habits die hard. I am a pretty patient person, so hopefully, as time goes on, I will figure out what you already know…to not disagree…to either be silent or agree…and thank you for this! Be well.
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6 ReactionsWOW, is this helpful! Thank you so much!
My husband is diagnosed with MCI. Changes happening rapidly, but then sometimes, thankfully we have a plateau.
Our son was diagnosed with glioblastoma in 2023, so I’m trying to help both my son and husband as much as I can. Some days it is overwhelming. Words like yours (and others on this site) truly do help! Thank you ALL!
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11 ReactionsComments about PT are good, but thinking back about 4 years ago I had a PT for a TKR. The guy was awful but all they had available. There was a tv in the PT room and all he wanted to do was watch the soap opera, yes, soap opera. He would tell me to do something and then turn around and watch tv, or walk away and watch it.
I actually had to complain to my doc, but this place was all they had at the time (associated in hospital). Evidentally this guy said it wasn't true so the next apt. I had with him he was over 40 min. late getting me in, and got me out in 20.! I ended up going 35 miles to Columbus in the winter for PT after that but I got better care.
That clown is still with the hospital.
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2 ReactionsIt is certainly a journey. It took a while to get to the point where I could let things go. I often stop myself and play a scenario in my mind of how it would play out if I said what I was thinking. Mostly I realize that it isn't that important to make that comment or ask that question. I still feel anxious but it goes away after a while. And it is much better than the arguments that frequently had taken place. Things are much calmer and pleasant now that I filter myself better. Know that this support group is here for you and help you through the bad days and celebrate with you on the good days. Wishing you the best on this journey.
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11 ReactionsThank you so much. I guess until I settle in with what is happening with H and get some sort of schedule plus watch him so he doesn't give away everything it is going to be rough.
I do need to get a diagnosis. Unfortunately our family doc hasn't been able to do much and getting H to a psychiatrist, well just mention that and all hades would break loose.
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3 ReactionsWhen you talk about playing out a scenario in your mind. For the last few months I have, in my mind, been looking for a group that is going to do "A Christmas Carol" this year. My H could play Jacob Marley, Scrooge's dead partner who comes to visit him moaning and groaning and rattling chains.
H is already, no practice needed, all they would have to do is supply the chains.
I picture it in my mind and it makes me laugh, to myself of course.
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5 ReactionsIf he is exhibiting any physical changes maybe you can get him to see a neurologist, preferably one that is familiar with dementia. That's where we started. The neurologist diagnosed my husband with Parkinsonism in 2017. I took him to the Mayo Clinic in 2021 and they diagnosed Lewy Body Dementia. Having a dementia diagnosis helped a lot because it turned on our Long Term Care Insurance.
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2 ReactionsOkay, the apt. didn't go that well. Doc. wanted to refer him to a neurologist but H wasn't going there. I brought up about PT and the tall armed walker, but H wasn't having any of it. Didn't need it when it is obvious to every one he does. Doc. says the script is there if he wants to use it.
Of all of us oldsters in the office today, H is the one that had the most trouble walking, err shuffling but he was doing his absolute best to hide it. That is what he does.
For all his aches and pains he is in good health physically, mentally? The jury is out on that one yet.
Told the doc. no problems with asthma, his lungs etc. weren't bothering him, he is handling his pain (right). I spoke up but he said everything is good.
Then, this afternoon it is right back to the "oh, my lungs are all congested, hack, hack, cough, cough, honking phlegm that I am starting to believe is a figment of his demise.
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3 ReactionsAll I am hearing is the doc said his blood work and vitals were all okay, but to lay off on the sugar as he is border-line diabetic.
He is not making the connection that it is the physical body, joints, back, etc. that are the problem. Nor does he see it mentally. I am terrified that he is going to fall and break a hip or something. At his age, it is usually down hill from there sometimes quite rapidly.
A nice glass of wine hiding out on the sun room sounds delightful while I watch the news in peace.
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