Okay, I need your responses and help with this one

My spouse is addicted to his phone and he only watches old movies, or movies with an actor he likes. I have given up trying to watch something new with him; I think it is because he cannot Follow the plot. I use the old movies as my own few minutes of zoning out, pretending to watch, reading, or anything to be close to him physically. I think I know half the dialog to The Green Mile and Shawshank.

I no longer try so hard to get him involved or interested in doing other things to stay busy. He loves going out and being around other people, even if he does not make much sense.

If you are paying for the renovation- are you able to talk with the contractor to speed up the process? Or if your son is doing it himself- paying for some extra help?

I pay for a lot of things to keep my spouse happy and try not to worry about our dwindling savings.

I am giving you a hug - you are not alone

Hello. He watches violent horrible movies. I am an Empath. I don't like seeing people being killed. He also watches the westerns from the 50's,60's and 70's. No plot and no one is really acting. He is starting into Sundowners and I think he knows it partly. I just went into the bedroom to watch a Hallmark movie.
I just came in after cleaning up 5 large palm leaves. Actually longer than my height. Tons of yard debris. It was not there yesterday until the rain and wind came. I quickly got cleaned up and made his lunch. He did say "Thank you". Probably the most conversation I will have all day. He is watching the news now. I wish I could carry on a conversation with him like we used to ..but it definitely will not happen. I cannot vacumn or even do the things I need to do as the TV is more important. I eventually can persuade him. But, again thank you for caring. 🫂

That is what I really miss. Being able to have a real intelligent conversation with him, to do things together like we used to.
That is why I liken what I feel and is going on to grieving, you pray, wish, hope, etc. that things will go back to what they were but, even though I am only at the beginning of his issues, it is all downhill from here.

Though if he continues the talk about getting a horse I am going to tell him what my Dad told me when I was 8 or 9 and was pleading for a horse. That he couldn't standing having the horse clomp around the house and up and down the stairs all day following me. That comes to mind when H starts talking about horses.

I love the horse description! ✋️🫂

Thank you. It worked with me. A lot better than just saying no.

Hi, there are headphones he can wear, wireless, that will allow him to hear the TV if you are vacuuming. My Dad used them because of his hearing loss, so the TV wouldn't have to be at full volume and bother my Mom.

My husband has moderate dementia. I have found that trying to correct my husband's misinterpretations of what has been said or what he has seen is not a positive move for either of us. It puts him on the defensive because it just points out his deficits in communication and abilities to do what he used to be able to do without help. I have learned to ask myself "Is this a hill I want to die on?"
I will usually not correct him but rather just acknowledge what he said. Something like "oh really?" "Is that so?"If he is having difficulty with a task I say something like " these ______ are so complicated, I sometimes have trouble too. Can I help you with that?" I have found that educating myself on what the symptoms of dementia ( brain failure) and positive approaches to care have been sanity savers for me. Getting a dementia diagnosis takes time if that is what you are dealing with. Other causes should be ruled out by your physician. If possible a consult with a neurologist might be helpful to both of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are not alone.

The doctor will more than likely give him a simple verbal and written test. He may ask for an MRI which is what my doc did. It showed the dementia. My husband was diagnosed 3.5 years ago but I know he had it 4-5 years earlier. The evidence was there but he refused to go to the doctor. Good luck,

Thank you and the others. I am getting the idea that it does take time to get a diagnosis long after we are aware of the problem.

Just a comment on H giving things away, after the guy came by for the snowblower. Turns out his was one of the nearby neighbor's brothers who "spread the news" to him.
I got my courage up to walk over and tell him what I told his brother. That H was not in the condition to give anything away and (here I lied) I had POA and wanted the items back. Guy responds that H sounded sane to him.

I pushed on the matter and said I would be glad to sell them to him for a fair price, otherwise he could bring them back. H might not be using them, but we are going to send things to auction, as we need the money. He walked away but I stood my ground in his driveway. Seeing I wasn't leaving he then came back, and we negotiated a fair price for the table saw and scroll saw.

I was polite but also firm in the situation and I think he knew, from what I told his brother, I would legally pursue it. Now about the other things people took, some I don't even know who they were.

I was terrified to do that, but I figured I had nothing to lose, and I am going to have to do a lot more tough things as H continues his journey.