Caregiver for spouse with MCI (Mild cognitive impairment)

Posted by birdhouseclosed @birdhouseclosed, May 23, 2018

Need help accepting this and dealing with what is to come.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

@sillyblone

Hello Pam,
It is a safe place. I would feel like I was missing support from other's that care and understands. My husband has Parkinsons plus alot of other conditions as a result of age and his diagnosis. It is hard to be a caregiver. We are not perfect and can share that if we so choose. Welcome and hugs to you and your family.💞💞

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Thank you so much !!

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@pam4kids

Thank you so much !!

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You are so very welcome.You are not alone!!

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@becsbuddy

@pam4kids Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! I’m so glad you found this site. I would suggest that you check out the other discussions for friends, tips, and great ideas on fixing things to make it all easier

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I will thanks!!

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@pam4kids

I’m grateful to find this group. My husbands sounds the same. I’ve been anxious and weepy dealing with this. Hoping here will be a safe place to talk.

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@pam4kids I am so sorry that you are feeling anxious and sad. I feel much the same way at times, especially if I don't get a good night's sleep or if I am over-thinking about the future. It makes me feel so vulnerable to admit that. Thanks for reaching out to this chat and opening up. You are not alone...

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@jimmyj1216

We just found out my husband has mci. It is very emotional for me right now. I watched his Mom decline for years w the dementia.
I’m on a roller coaster of emotions right now.
Any advice?

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Hello. Welcome to the group. I imagine you are feeling all over the place with emotional feelings and dread. Know I care and so do many other's. Hugs

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@jimmyj1216

We just found out my husband has mci. It is very emotional for me right now. I watched his Mom decline for years w the dementia.
I’m on a roller coaster of emotions right now.
Any advice?

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You don't mention his current state. That makes a huge difference. I was diagnosed with mci with diffuse lewy bodies 3 years ago when I did tests because I thought something wasn't right. My neurologist said he doesn't usually sees some this early.
My wife freaked out, assuming I would be a burden within just a couple of years, should stop driving and attributed anything and everything to my decline even when there's another explanation, like lack of sleep, lifelong ADHD, or long-term depression to name a few. I spent the next 15 months having my driving tested (it's fine), learning about dementia, trying to justify my existence. Finally, after the 3rd doctor visit together and hearing again that mci is different from dementia, and my timetable is unknown, she backed off. I still have to point out not everything implies dementia. I still easily handle the 10 areas of independent daily living.
My memory isn't quite as good, especially misplacing my car keys; my sleep a little more off, but improving; my ADHD symptoms are more obvious; my eating is less regular; I get less done in a typical day. I still manage medical care, which includes making sure my 7 primary professionals are on the same page and we are all going in the same direction.
I suggest: live in the moment and set times to think about the bigger picture; create some good times, get a good professional resource and use them (doctor, geriatritian, counselor, social worker, speech and language therapist- they're trained to identify coping mechanisms - I've used all of these for different pieces); treat him with respect (includes letting him do for himself what he can); use his phone as a memory aid with calendar for appointments, including destination to use with map app, contacts, photos, etc.; don't assume a new issue can't changed, while not everything can; help him stay physically and socially active.
Most importantly, learned from having a daughter with Down Syndrome, take care of yourself first. I doubt you are still 30, and you can't help much if you're very frazzled. Treat yourself with respect and take care of yourself as well.
I'm open to private messages.

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Thank you. I’m a little overwhelmed with my husband’s MCI. He has ADD and now this on top of it. My anxiety has been through the roof. He has been very smothering and I’ve been advised by his Dr as well as mine to take time for myself.

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@moea

@pam4kids I am so sorry that you are feeling anxious and sad. I feel much the same way at times, especially if I don't get a good night's sleep or if I am over-thinking about the future. It makes me feel so vulnerable to admit that. Thanks for reaching out to this chat and opening up. You are not alone...

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It is very comforting to know I’m not alone, thanks!

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@sillyblone

Hello. Welcome to the group. I imagine you are feeling all over the place with emotional feelings and dread. Know I care and so do many other's. Hugs

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My anxiety has been pretty bad and I’ve been more tearful lately. I think the hardest thing is my husband’s smothering and controlling now. He such a sweetheart otherwise but I’m feeling overwhelmed with his “helping” me. He won’t let me do anything myself.

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@cooldad56

You don't mention his current state. That makes a huge difference. I was diagnosed with mci with diffuse lewy bodies 3 years ago when I did tests because I thought something wasn't right. My neurologist said he doesn't usually sees some this early.
My wife freaked out, assuming I would be a burden within just a couple of years, should stop driving and attributed anything and everything to my decline even when there's another explanation, like lack of sleep, lifelong ADHD, or long-term depression to name a few. I spent the next 15 months having my driving tested (it's fine), learning about dementia, trying to justify my existence. Finally, after the 3rd doctor visit together and hearing again that mci is different from dementia, and my timetable is unknown, she backed off. I still have to point out not everything implies dementia. I still easily handle the 10 areas of independent daily living.
My memory isn't quite as good, especially misplacing my car keys; my sleep a little more off, but improving; my ADHD symptoms are more obvious; my eating is less regular; I get less done in a typical day. I still manage medical care, which includes making sure my 7 primary professionals are on the same page and we are all going in the same direction.
I suggest: live in the moment and set times to think about the bigger picture; create some good times, get a good professional resource and use them (doctor, geriatritian, counselor, social worker, speech and language therapist- they're trained to identify coping mechanisms - I've used all of these for different pieces); treat him with respect (includes letting him do for himself what he can); use his phone as a memory aid with calendar for appointments, including destination to use with map app, contacts, photos, etc.; don't assume a new issue can't changed, while not everything can; help him stay physically and socially active.
Most importantly, learned from having a daughter with Down Syndrome, take care of yourself first. I doubt you are still 30, and you can't help much if you're very frazzled. Treat yourself with respect and take care of yourself as well.
I'm open to private messages.

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You are just who I needed to hear from!! My husband also has ADD and now this new diagnosis. I am the type of person who is calm in a crisis at first and then I fall apart. My anxiety is bad right now and trying to help him navigate this without being overwhelmed. At first, I thought his ADD was just worsening with age but there were too many times of moodiness and short term memory issues that weren’t this bad before.

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