Depression and Chronic Pain
I have been dealing with episodes of major depression and dysthmia since I was a teenager and now I am in my 50's and have moderate to severe arthritis in my lower back and knees along with chronic daily migraines and I am in pain just about every minute of every day. I wake up in the morning disappointed that I am still alive and have to go through another day. I feel that I am a huge burden on my family and am nothing but a "shell" full of negativity. I don't have a decent doctor who will work with me to address all of my problems and help me with other methods since I can't take opiod meds and NSAIDS (I had bariatric surgery) and now my insurance company wants to stop paying for my weekly therapy sessions (they're cutting them back to twice a month.
I feel so hopeless and trapped. I don't want to live like this. I will never end my life, though, because I know what suicide would do to my family and I would never put them through that. I used to be able to work and that was how I coped; I'm no longer able to work and it's killing me. I have no one to talk to that understands and doesn't mind listening to someone who is not Miss Bubbly and full of interesting stories to tell. Insights anyone?
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Mamacita- I surely have experience with them. And part of my family was certainly involved in causing a lot of emotional pain. I agree that this site is where sharing and supporting each other is a blessing. I have shared a lot of these on different posts here. Have a great holiday season too.
Much love and light to you, darling. You help make everything better. What a lovely place we have here. How glad I am to have found this part of my tribe!
Mamacita
@freshair, I agree with you 100%. I also know what you mean about migraine pain and Ocean nose spray. Some times I use Floniase if my allergy symptoms are kicking up. I have Burning Mouth Syndrome and my experience is that most doctors are not well informed. Thanks for the tips.
Guess what? sharlynn62 is still around; still here in November, 2018 with the same issues, for the most part. I thank all of you who responded to my post and am sorry that I did not reply. It really means a lot to me that you all took the time to share your thoughts and suggestions with me; I don't know why I didn't respond back then, but I wanted to let you all know, now, that I appreciate all of your comments. I have read them all and already feel uplifted by the positive and supportive ideas you had. Some of you shared your challenging experiences and even though I understand and empathize with the difficulties you are experiencing, it is helpful to know that I'm not alone in the struggles we face. I certainly realize that there are people who have things a lot worse than I do and sometimes it's hard not to feel like I'm being selfish and pitying myself, when talking about my problems. However, I respect that everyone is effected in different ways by the issues that challenge them no matter how trivial or serious they may seem to others. (I can share this with others, but have a hard time putting it into practice with myself).
Again, thanks for caring about me and I hope to be a more active participant in further discussions.' Best to all...
@parus. It sounds like you are tormented by what you experienced in the past. I wish that you could've gotten some help from medications. I take some that help me get through the day. Are you seeing a counselor or therapist? What you bring up regarding things that happen (a call from a sibling) that cause you to feel the pain from the past are "triggers". I experience the same kind of thing and I have developed a "Trigger Action Plan". so that when I get triggered by something that occurs or by someone, I have a plan for what to do to to deal with the thoughts and feelings that get stirred up. For example, I will listen to music or play the piano. Sometimes, when I'm really struggling, I'll just get myself up and find something that requires some kind of physical effort, like vacuuming. It seems to divert my attention and is an outlet for my feelings. It helps me calm down and get some control.
I hope this might be helpful to you. Hang in there. The past may continue to "haunt" you at times, but there are things you can do in the present that will help distance you from the past as you get used to, as they say, "be present in this moment".
@sharlynn62 - That sounds like an excellent plan. I hope that you have a huge success with it. What has helped me is my blog and writing on here. I can blow off a lot of steam from my triggers just by writing. My twin, who died several years ago, was a borderline personality and drug addict.. She was some tough character. My blood would boil every time she called because it meant that she wanted something. I wont bore you with all the details but I also feel guilty that I wasn't more understanding. I think that she just wore me out. I've almost come to terms with it. But if I hear a person with her tone of voice I cringe and get angry.
Here are several tips on dealing with triggers.
https://www.verywellmind.com/ptsd-triggers-and-coping-strategies-2797557
https://www.verywellmind.com/developing-a-safety-plan-for-ptsd-symptoms-2797577
@merpreb Thank you for sharing the info. Maybe it will offer some suggestions. Endeavoring to recover from last syrupy call knowing there is another scheme in the making. A religious fanatic like our mother was. Grrrrrr
@parus- Oh boy, very hard to deal with. Is there anyway that you would want to sever your relationships with them? I would probably feel as you do. Against what we are brought up to believe in, honor your mother and father, sometimes the best plan is complete severance for self preservation. It wasn't until the very end of my twin's life that I became involved in a closer way. I just couldn't deal with the negative energy and what it was doing to me. She died in my arms. She had spent her whole life wanting to die.
So glad you stumbled onto Connect, @parus . Connect is better because you are here.
@hopeful33250 Aw shucks. Thank you.