1. < Caregivers: Dementia

Help! My husband refuses to shower. It’s been 2 weeks now.

Posted by cheryl16 @cheryl16, Dec 23, 2024

My husband who has mid stage Alzheimer’s just refuses to shower or bathe. He used to shower every morning but since his disease progressed, he refuses to get wet. He won’t even get near the shower and gets aggressive if pushed too hard. I thought I’d try getting into the shower with him but that didn’t work. I can’t get him to use a wash cloth either. I bought dry shampoo and he resists that but I’m going to try again. I think his psychiatrist will tell me to increase his meds but he’s already on 450 mgs of Seroquel to control aggressive behavior and he sleeps a lot during the day. I’m not ready for him to turn into a potted plant!

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saraemma3709 | @saraemma3709 | Dec 27, 2024
In reply to @cheryl16 "Thanks Celia for sharing your experience. You were fortunate to find a memory care unit with..." + (show)
@cheryl16

Thanks Celia for sharing your experience. You were fortunate to find a memory care unit with staff who knew how to do this. They are not all like that, I’ve found. Actually if you are in the NYC area, would you mind sharing the name of the facility. I will also look into finding a bath aide. He won’t let his regular aides touch him at all.
I so appreciate your advice.
Happy Holidays.

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Where in NC is this memory care unit. I am considering one for my husband in Greensboro. Thank you.
Right now I am paying a home health aid who comes once a week. My husband puts up a fuss but she goes right ahead...and he thanks her when she is done.

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celia16 | @celia16 | Dec 27, 2024
In reply to @cheryl16 "On second thought, Celia, would you PM me the name of the residence. One never knows..." + (show)
@cheryl16

On second thought, Celia, would you PM me the name of the residence. One never knows where this road will take them.
I don’t really know how the PM works so let me know if I have to do anything to set it up on my end. Thanks again for your help.
Fondly,
Cheryl

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I sent the PM. You should receive a notification to open it.

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celia16 | @celia16 | Dec 27, 2024

It’s in Warrenton, which is near VA border. Greensboro is on the other side of the state. It’s a large, modern city and probably very nice facilities. Some of the rural, low population areas seem to offer quality though basic amenities for lower costs. I suspect that is why they used to have quite a few residents from northern states.

I don’t know anything about the place since my cousin died several years ago. There are also many AL facilities in Raleigh.

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1 reply
cheryl16 | @cheryl16 | Dec 28, 2024
In reply to @celia16 "It’s in Warrenton, which is near VA border. Greensboro is on the other side of the..." + (show)
@celia16

It’s in Warrenton, which is near VA border. Greensboro is on the other side of the state. It’s a large, modern city and probably very nice facilities. Some of the rural, low population areas seem to offer quality though basic amenities for lower costs. I suspect that is why they used to have quite a few residents from northern states.

I don’t know anything about the place since my cousin died several years ago. There are also many AL facilities in Raleigh.

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Many thanks.

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trishaanderson | @trishaanderson | Apr 12 8:47am

Does anyone have any experience with getting their LO to use a bidet?

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1 reply
sillyblone | @sillyblone | Apr 12 1:17pm
In reply to @trishaanderson "Does anyone have any experience with getting their LO to use a bidet?" + (show)
@trishaanderson

Does anyone have any experience with getting their LO to use a bidet?

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My husband said absolutely not! If I wanted to it was ok. It sure would help with cleanup and less cleaning the toilet. What makes sense to us does not to them.

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celia16 | @celia16 | Apr 13 8:22am

I’ve read that anything new is especially challenging for someone with dementia. Learning new skills aren’t likely possible. That’s why switching to a new remote, phone or clock can be frustrating for them. I’ve also read for years that people with dementia often have an aversion to water. It’s believed to be a sensory thing.

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1 reply
pamela78 | @pamela78 | Apr 13 8:53am
In reply to @celia16 "I’ve read that anything new is especially challenging for someone with dementia. Learning new skills aren’t..." + (show)
@celia16

I’ve read that anything new is especially challenging for someone with dementia. Learning new skills aren’t likely possible. That’s why switching to a new remote, phone or clock can be frustrating for them. I’ve also read for years that people with dementia often have an aversion to water. It’s believed to be a sensory thing.

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The aversion to water is interesting. My husband, who has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize it, can't stand even a drop of water anywhere. I have to carefully wipe down every sink and if there's even a drop of water on the floor, he jumps to wipe it up. He won't take a bath after I've had a shower because the tub is wet. Well, yeah. This water phobia drives me crazy because it seems so excessive, but I didn't know it could be related to dementia. This is helpful knowledge.

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1 reply
celia16 | @celia16 | Apr 13 8:56am
In reply to @pamela78 "The aversion to water is interesting. My husband, who has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize it, can't..." + (show)
@pamela78

The aversion to water is interesting. My husband, who has Alzheimer's and doesn't recognize it, can't stand even a drop of water anywhere. I have to carefully wipe down every sink and if there's even a drop of water on the floor, he jumps to wipe it up. He won't take a bath after I've had a shower because the tub is wet. Well, yeah. This water phobia drives me crazy because it seems so excessive, but I didn't know it could be related to dementia. This is helpful knowledge.

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My cousin refused bathing and I had to beg, plead, promise….but was able to get her to do it. She wouldn’t cooperate with AL staff, but Memory Care had no trouble.

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ellenkrellfactor | @ellenkrellfactor | 6 days ago

I put photos of men in the shower looking happy around the house
Bought him a towel with his initial
Got him lots of soaps thought he would like
Sometimes this stuff works and sometimes not

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