1. < Caregivers: Dementia

Does anyone have tips for communicating with someone with dementia?

Posted by bclane @bclane, Apr 3 12:41pm

I've been increasingly frustrated with trying to communicate with my husband. It's like the stereotype of the husband never listening to the wife. For example, this morning he read off a message on his phone that the battery was low and it needed charging. I told him to get the charger, that it was the white cord hanging on the side of the dresser mirror. I thought the directions were pretty clear.

He came back with a belt—and it wasn't white and hadn't been hanging on the side of the dresser mirror either. I retrieved the cord myself, and when he saw it, he said I should have said that and not mentioned a belt (which I hadn't).

A week ago I had a doctor's appointment and a neighbor stayed with him while I went. For the first time, I wrote a note about where I was going and when I expected to be back and gave it to him. He wasn't offended by that, and the neighbor said he pulled it out and read it several times.

He often reads things out loud, like the captions on the TV news, so it just occurred to me this morning that maybe he can't hang on to spoken words. Maybe if I'd written a short note describing the phone charger and where it was located, that would have worked better. Has anyone else experienced this with the person they're caring for?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

joisey | @joisey | Apr 7 3:47pm

Did you know that the brain has 4 distinct parts? I didn't. But when I took Caregivers College, a free 6-week zoom course, I learned that. And now I understand why my husband can read a book, but can't follow directions of just 2 sentences. Caregivers College, offered by Memory Care in Asheville, NC, is one of the best things that you can do for yourself as a caregiver. It is the single best thing that I have done. You will graduate knowing more than most doctors. And you will learn invaluable skills. Given quarterly, and the next session begins this Thurs. 4/10. Contact Mary Donnelly. Her email is network@memorycare.org

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joisey | @joisey | Apr 7 9:23pm
In reply to @julieboggesscdp "Hi, the topic of communication is universal. A person living with dementia can have both expressive..." + (show)
@julieboggesscdp

Hi, the topic of communication is universal. A person living with dementia can have both expressive and receptive aphasia, which is a deficit in understanding and expressing language. This is indeed very frustrating for caregivers.
I work for AGE-u-cate Training Institute, which develops training materials for professional and family caregivers. I attached what we call an "empowerment tool," which provides some best practice approaches on various topics related to dementia care. We also have one-hour, online device enabled courses called REVEAL Aging. These courses are geared to caregivers. I hope these empowerment tools help you, and feel free to check out our website at http://www.ageucate.com. All the best as you move through your caregiving journey. We are here to help.

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My husband and I have the most wonderful connection with a student at Miami U in Ohio who is taking part in the OMA program.

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julieboggesscdp | @julieboggesscdp | Apr 8 9:18am

Excellent- yes, OMA is a terrific program, and we collaborate with Miami U on the education component. Thanks for sharing!

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Apr 9 8:57pm

Also see these related discussions:
- Communication and Connection Techniques for Caregivers https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/communication-and-connection-techniques-for-caregivers/
- Communicating Challenges With Lewy Body and Dementia https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/communicating-challenges-with-lewy/

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