Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Hi Sue,
I always enjoy your responses, and have a question/suggestion. Can you and your friend chat on zoom? I talk to my sister that way once a week, another friend frequently, and old friends from time to time. It is a really fun way to see the other person. I also do some writing/drawing that way with people--we both get on, hang out, then do some creative work, share. It lessens the distance. Anyway, happy new year!

Actually, yes we can. She has been my painting teacher for 4 years, and 2 friends and I will be doing painting with her this winter (she is MUCH better than we are, but we have a lot of fun.) I just wrote her a note and sent it off with a jigsaw puzzle I had made for her from one of my photos.

We moved into a CCRC while we are still healthy. We love the Freedom it gives us. No more maintenance headaches, we can cook or not, lots of classes and entertainment. But the BEST thing - FREEDOM! We can shut the door and leave. Our mail is collected and held. If we expect something important, they will scan, email, or forward to wherever we are. PLUS we have "staff" the apartment is cleaned, and maintenance even changes lightbulbs! Our dining room is excellent and strives to include everyone's food choices.

We are not rich - we pride ourselves that this is a "working mans" CCRC.

I am only 68, but have 'brothers and sisters' and 'moms and dads' who genuinely care about us, are supportive and are truly amazing people who have led very interesting lives.

May I ask, what is a CCRC? This sounds SO ideal to me. My husband is not yet ready to leave yard work, cutting trees, snowblowing...he still enjoys being active that way. But if something happens to him, it will be up to me to find help with all of that. The CCRC sounds wonderful! Just to be able to go somewhere and not have to worry about anyone breaking in or some malfunction of a furnace, etc...what a blessing. I think you have found the ideal place and I can just "feel" the freedom (from worry for me) you speak about. I hope we can get there someday too. We have no children; we have nieces and nephews that we enjoy holidays with but they have busy lives and limited availability.

A CCRC is a Continuing Care Retirement Community. We happen to be in Florida, but they are all over the country. We live in an Independent Living Apartment, but many CCRCs do have homes. We chose the apartment because of the freedom. The cool thing is we are totally independent. I had shoulder surgery 2 years ago - I was able to walk to PT and saw my PT manager often around the campus.

My friend just had a back issue. When she was discharged from the hospital, she could not even walk! She went to our Skilled Nursing facility which is attached to our building. We were all able to see her, she was able to get things from her apartment and had the same food from our restaurant. She is now back at home. We also have Assisted Living and Memory care on campus.

My husband volunteers to powerwash from time to time, that scratches his maintenance itch! LOL!

How great to find a working man’s CCRC. The ones in my area, after you buy the condo or house, you still pay at least $6k a month for all the benefits.

My husband and I talk about this. I think it’s a few years off still

Thank you so much for your reply! Sounds ideal and very encouraged there are facilities like this. 🙂 And that your husband can still get that maintenance itch scratched - lol! 🙂

I have decided to stay living in the community, not move to a CCRC as long as I possibly can. I have rearranged my house for one floor living and try to keep on top of the preventative maintenance so as to avoid housing emergencies. Have 2 local adult children to call on when needed. Have food and other items delivered.

My decision was in response to the COVID pandemic when they closed the nursing homes and the local CCRC did not allow non residents access. My husband had dementia and was in a nursing home and died alone, without seeing me for 6 weeks, although before Covid I faithfully visited him every other day. I hope that his dementia had progressed to the point that he didn’t realize that I was missing. (I had cared for him at home until my own health emergency and I couldn’t care for both him and me.) I remember my helplessness when I realized what was happening and the nursing home’s implacability in not allowing me to be with him.

I googled it and a CCRC is a Continuing Care Retirement Community, which may have 4 components: independent living; assisted living; memory care and; skilled nursing care.

The only real problem of a CCA is the cost. You have to “buy in” (can be well over $200,000), then pay the monthly fee(can be well over $4,000). Medicaid is not accepted, so if you live long enough and can no longer afford the fee, out you go. Some use an algorithm to refund a portion of the “buy in” when you leave by moving out or to family upon death.
For those who have long term care insurance, be sure to check your policy- most are now for a certain number of years or for a certain dollar amount, NOT for as long as a person needs the care.
Our policy is 5 years or $450,000. My husband is in AL and is soon going on Year 4. I’m starting to research what to do next. He has vascular dementia, heart issues, and brittle diabetes, but is SO much healthier with the structure of the facility.
I’ve met with an Elder Law attorney. Approaching the 5th year, they recommend gathering info about AL and SNF facilities that do accept Medicaid. In the 5th year, making the application with their assistance (counselors at your county’s Area Agency on Aging also can do it with you). Medicaid gives you a “spend-down amount” that you must use from your funds/assets and after the LTC insurance stops, you spend down, paying the facility bill and other allowable expenses (pre-paid funeral, electric lift chair, medications/incontinence briefs/MD co-pays). You can move your loved one to a facility that accepts Medicaid and do the “spend down” there. Medicaid follows your state’s rules as to the well-spouse’s half share of funds/assets and the spouse lives in the house until death or sale (such as the spouse deciding also to move into an AL).
If the “spend down” funds are used up and the person goes on Medicaid, the state will attach a lien to the house to reclaim the taxpayer funds used, up to the half-value (the person’s share) of the sale price. The spouse gets the other half value.
Lastly, the state does a 5 year “look-back” from the date of application. It’s very important not to look as if you tried to dump assets- money gifts over $500, putting an adult child on your house deed, adding a relative to a brokerage account, etc. If your spouse is a veteran and is eligible for VA services at home or in a facility, they do a 3 year look-back and do not attach the spouse’s assets after the veteran’s death.
Sorry to go on so long, but I think it’s important to get ready for what might be coming, just in case.