Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

I really enjoyed reading about your very interesting life! Jim, my husband, and I first travelled to Ecuador in 2001 and fell in love with it. We returned three other times, most recently getting back just before shortly before COVID hit. We Air-BnB'd time in the beautiful city of Cuenca, met some wonderful expats and we intended to move there. But COVID sure changed things. And now with Jim's prostate cancer. our dream of living in Ecuador likely won't become our reality. And what felt like such a safe and welcoming country has become one with significantly more crime, which is very sad. I hope that the Research Triangle will be a good fit for you guys and that your health will not hinder you too much! All the Best to You!

I visited Cuenca in the mid-1970s and it was gorgeous. My husband was working in Esmeraldas (refinery) and we took a trip with his parents. Ecuador was always on the edge politically, but the people and the land were beautiful. I was happy there. We are in the same boat but looks like we will be staying in our house in Tucson and downsizing belongings. Diabetes/kidney etc have to be tended to; I imagine a rental with a pool in five years or so. I am still doing the yard (xerioscape), but hire out the house cleaning once a month. Husband is 75 and I'm 71. Right now, it is less expensive to live in the house since we took care of the big ticket maintenance items a few years ago.

Thank you, @rosemary for raising this important question. Like, Dana, I've been exploring for the past 2 yrs, the concept of downsizing and moving into an independent sr living estbl. near my daughter and family out-of-state. I also own a spacious home and while I can still manage the upkeep and regular maintenance required, more of my circle of close aging friends are facing similar deliberations and several already have moved, some to be closer to immediate family and others because of the need for more supervised care.

The question for me is timing. Would it be better to sell and move while I still have some wits about me and can take care of the decisions required in listing the house, arranging an estate sale, selecting the next residence or do I wait because my cost of living, maintenance and lack of state inc. tax makes it financially more feasible to stay put awhile longer. I bought long-term care ins. yrs ago and have been so fortunate that the premium has only gone up once and that to a small degree.

If I wait until I have fewer wits about me...which might not be long! vbg...my daughter would be ever so capable in handling what had to be done. However, I still vividly remember the difficulties I lived when handling my mom's later daily care and medical needs, home maintenance & repairs and later estate issues while living out-of-town. Living out-of-state would have only compounded the issues requiring action.

My longest divorced friend here of 40+ yrs recently began building a new home out-of-town to be near her children and grands. The new house is under construction; most of her belongings and furnishings for the new house have been moved and and placed in storage in the new location. Having completed her estate sale with her house listed for sale, she now is finding that there is almost a freeze on residential house sales in this area.

Now, with the spread of the virus especially hitting the senior living and nursing home establishments, I can only be thankful that I have waited on my decision. However, time does not stand still and my mental debate over timing continues.

I would really like to hear how others are thinking about downsizing and starting to plan ahead.

I have been contemplating all of this for a couple Of years.
I have long-term care insurance and my plan was to stay in place in Florida where we have lots of friends and are happy.

My husband has dementia and I have been caring for him for 10 years and it is going well.

I have also been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so who knows.

My question is does it make sense to move back to Pennsylvania and add on to my son‘s house where they want us to be close to them. How has it worked with anyone to move back to family but also a big change for us And also the cold weather.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.

You have many things to consider. Here's just one:
Where do you have good options for assisted living and memory care?

I have been contemplating all of this for a couple Of years.
I have long-term care insurance and my plan was to stay in place in Florida where we have lots of friends and are happy.

My husband has dementia and I have been caring for him for 10 years and it is going well.

I have also been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, so who knows.

My question is does it make sense to move back to Pennsylvania and add on to my son‘s house where they want us to be close to them. How has it worked with anyone to move back to family but also a big change for us And also the cold weather.
Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Merry Christmas, @beckboop13 !
My comments don't come from personal experience per se, but observations. And I have no concrete answer, even now. Several years ago after my husband passed, my daughter and her husband extended the same invitation to me. Like you, I have longterm care insurance. At the time, I was dealing with major back issues so had a medical team that I trusted here (6 hours from their home). As I moved through the journey of health care (hospital, rehab, and therapy) after 3 surgeries, I gained a rather shocking education of how the expectations of the level of care I was anticipating (based on prior surgeries years ago) had diminished. In checking with friends near and far about this, every one of them validated my fears about the severe depletion of ENOUGH trained caregivers in the "institutional" setting, be it hospital, rehab, skilled care, or nursing home. If I moved there, it would be no different. But I would have a daughter (and husband) who would either advocate for me or take on a better level of care on my behalf. On the other hand, now they are thinking of moving a state away (2 states from me) to be by their daughter and her family who have a newborn. So what I have concluded is, anything can happen, and if you are a person of faith, I think the only way you get peace about your decision is to pray and ask God for direction. I did and believe He lead me to stay where I am. Like I said, no concrete answers, but I do hope you find yours! 🫶🏼

Thank you so much for replying. This was extremely helpful and exactly the way I am feeling right .
The long-term care is not necessary for us until we really need it in the ending days.

I feel we are being led to make the move where we are loved and cared for by our family. Thank you so much.