<br><br><br><br><br>Great idea. Thanks. <br><br>

"nerve racking", oh yes can I relate to that. How do we not get upset about the continuous questions

I thought about it a long time, whether to tell my mom she had dementia. But she kept saying how "stupid" she was and I wanted to let her know it was a disease that she had no control over. I started my telling she had a severe memory problem, she came back with, "well, you forget things too." I finally mentioned dementia, but she still keeps calling herself "stupid" and get mad when she is corrected about a memory or inability to do a task

I'm caring for my husband who is 75 and in mid-stage Alzheimer's. He was diagnosed in December of 2013. For the last few/several months he's had great difficulty staying awake. Days are the best for him. Around 5:00 or 6:00 P.M. he'll say he's going upstairs to take a nap usually getting up around 7:30. Then he'll sit in his chair, we'll decide what we want to watch on TV and as soon as I turn it on, he'll be out! Often he doesn't wake up until I'm starting to let the dogs out before going to bed. This is a very lonely feeling and gives me way too much time to think though I try to keep myself busy with reading, the crossword puzzle, etc. I've talked to the neurologist but haven't been given much of an answer. Is this just part of the disease or can anyone suggest something that would interest him enough to stay awake a little longer. I understand TV can be hard when you've reached a point when following a plot is difficult which is another one of my problems--I don't really know how much he follows as he does his best to pretend he's following along. Enough for now. Thanks for listening.
Talie

Hello Talie. Thanks for posting. My mother's sleeping patterns have changed and she is often more tired than she used to be. This is just a suggestion, but maybe you could suggest to your husband that he lie down to rest (a nap) earlier in the day or after lunch instead. If he resists waking from an afternoon nap, you might gently tell him that you've prepared (insert something he likes to eat or drink) and it's ready for him in the kitchen; or find something that you know he usually enjoys doing with you so he'll be motivated to get up. That might help him to be a little less tired at 5 or 6pm. Let me know what you think.

Hello @talie Nice to e-meet you here! I am Scott and my MIL suffered from dementia. I also worked for the national Alzheimer's Association for several years. I was a secondary caregiver for my MIL and for 14+ years the primary caregiver for my wife during her war with brain cancer. I am sorry to learn of your husband's health condition. It is never an easy path for certain!

What you describe with your husband getting tired, etc. around that time of day is very common with dementia patients. It is a phenomenon often referred to as 'sundowning'. This change also occurred with my MIL and was something that did not change in her.

Unfortunately, with many chronic diseases, as they progress they change our loved ones in ways that are both very different from their prior styles in life and just as often are uncomfortable for us as their loved one and caregiver. Personally I think this is especially true when these are changes, which outwardly manifest themselves, as sundowning does.

How each of us, as caregivers, manage these changes can be as unique as each of us are and as unique as each of our patients are.

I found that there is no 'one size fits all' answer for these situations, but one of the great things about Connect here is the fact so many others have been through something similar in our experiences and can share what we did or what we've learned!

In my case I learned the course of the disease was something I could not control, alter, or change no matter how much I wished I could. But I learned I could try and alter my actions/reactions around difficult changes sometimes.

When my wife had a period where her sleep pattern changed and was peculiar, I used that time to do something for myself, which I couldn't do when she was awake and needing me. As odd as this may sound, I altered this change, which had been getting me down significantly, into a time when I could 'reward' myself with something for me -- which in our schedule was a huge rarity.

Good to have you here and welcome to Connect! I hope you enjoy Connect as much as many of us do!

Strength, Courage, & Peace

Talie, my husband, 87, also sleeps most of the time that I am visiting him in the Care Center. He will wake when I first arrive and maybe say a sentence or two but in 10 minutes or so he is dozing off again. This continues most of the afternoon as I try to spend the afternoon with him at least 3 days a week. I try to go on days when I know the activity in the Commons will be something he will enjoy and I encourage him to go. He will go and enjoy it if I'm there, but usually refuses if I am not there. Then, of course, as soon as we get back to the Memory unit he is really worn out and spends the rest of the afternoon sleeping. I always take a long something to occupy my time. I am a knitter and reader so it is not difficult to find something easy to take with me.

I know it is different when they are at home with you. We always kept soft music playing. Something that he liked. He was a polka fan, so he had CDs that would play for almost a hour, and we just played them over and over every day. It didn't seem to matter to him that he heard the same ones. This seemed to calm him.

I think the extra sleeping is part of the advanced stage of the disease from articles I have read. Just try to find something that you can do and still be with him.
Stay with us. These people have so many good ideas, and always are encouraging.

Thank you so much for your suggestion. It's an excellent idea and I will definitely try it. I'm so happy I found this site and the knowledge that many people are struggling with similar issues. When I started writing last night, I was only planning to write a few sentences then found myself going on and on. Obviously, I needed to vent and it felt like a great release when I did. I was also comforted by the thought that the next day I might find some suggestions for my problem or at least some people who were experiencing the same issue--sometimes that feels just as good. Appreciatively, Talie

My sister had the opposite problem with her late husband who had Alzheimer's. He hardly ever slept & if he did he would sleep standing up against a wall for maybe 10-15 minutes at a time. Everyone is different & this is particularly true for Alzheimer's depending on which areas of the brain are affected. Has he had any new meds? Does he sleep through the night or does he have sleep apnea? At this point he probably doesn't follow the plots on TV. At least this was the case with my brother-in-law. I pray for all caretakers especially the loved ones of Alzheimer's. God bless you talie.

Thank you for your response.  My husband isn&apos;t taking any new meds but the neurologist did say that the medication he is taking could be part of the problem.  He sleeps (in bed) from probably 11p.m. until 6:00a.m.   He does have sleep apnea and wears the required headgear which seems to really help with the quality of sleep he gets.  I really do know what you mean when you say each case takes its own course.  When something changes, I wonder if this is going to be the new normal or will we go back to the way it was before.  This is probably my denial and/or wishful thinking.