@juani softening what you say or not giving all the information isn't a lie. You have a good feeling for what your mom can and can not handle. The first five years when my mom asked about her Mom, my Nana, I learned to distract her. Her Mom passed 15 years before Mom's dementia started, but for her hearing her Mom was gone made it brand new. At some point that changed. Now if she asks me Nana is gone isn't she I say yes. We might talk about her or the fact that mom is now not only a Nana but a great Nana. I encourage you to go with your instincts. What do others think?

I introduced myself a few months ago. My Mother was down to 80 pounds, refusing all food and at the age of 95 … the prognosis was pretty bleak. But as Yogi stated "It ain't over til it's over" … and now 16 months later, is up 22 pounds, playing computer games, exchanging barbs with health care personnel, and as forgetful as ever. Me, well - I'm holding in there, and still giving her special feeding infusions of antioxidants, polyphenols, and Omega-3 loaded nutrients, and keeping the mind active for at least 2 hours per day via cognitive therapy.

The hardest part of this whole ordeal has been dealing with the healthcare facility and in going over and beyond (for my Mom) what they have the capacity in doing for other dementia patients. It causes lots of friction, nothing too serious but it's something that I would have never thought about in a million years.

At any rate, I just completed a book on the experience and it's centered on feeding and more importantly how best to free the mind before offering food. The incentive of writing was that if the techniques worked for a written off 95 year old , then it may well help someone else in equal or lesser stages out as well. Anyone, I do not know the rules of this forum so, I will not post the title here … but if anyone is having difficulties in the feeding process - I would be glad to help out in any way possible!

I do not know the rules either; but I would love for you to post the title.

Hi @straight_shooter, thanks for asking beforehand. You can certainly post the title of your book. We have several writers and bloggers participating in the Connect community. As per the Terms of Use (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/terms-of-use/) and Community Guidelines (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/about-connect/tab/community-guidelines/) members cannot use the forum to commercialize or advertise for a business or personal profit, therefore it would be against the rules to sell your book via the forum.

The topic of feeding is multifaceted, especially for people with Alzheimer’s and at end of life. The needs and challenges are certainly different from person to person and from family to family.

My mother had vascular dementia and, according to her primary care physician, it was basically the same as Alzheimer's. As her mind failed communicating with her became more difficult. I learned not to argue with her or try to "teach" her anything because those days were gone. Today I give talks for Alzheimer's caregivers about communicating with loved ones who have this vicious disease.

My book, Alzheimer's: Finding the Words, a Communication Guide for Those Who Care may be available as an eBook from the publisher, John Wiley & Sons.

Tag me too please.

@colleenyoung I’d like to join this group. I take care of my mom who suffers with dementia. It’s a hard battle for me as she’s angry most of the time. I could use some pointers for myself so that I don’t get aggravated with having to repeat things multiple times. I don’t let her see it but it happens.