Thank you @nanax2! That is what I needed to hear. My sister is not grieving it so far. Our lives continue and she follows my suggestions about schedules, diet and lets me give her her meds. So with your supportive reply I think I will just let her be herself and answer the siblings questions as they arise. Thank you so much it has been nagging me and my husband for these last 4 weeks.

@sallysue In my opinion I do not believe you should sister in talking about her Alzheimers but just let her know and give here the environment that you are there to listen without judgement or negativity. She will be going through a rollercoaster of emotions and she will need you to be her rock. I know this will be hard but she will be going through emotions while the Alzheimers takes control. Keep in touch with this conversation group for your support.

If you want to be we are here for you and what ever your needs are

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Thank you! Now I'm afraid I'll lose you in cyberspace somehow but I have you bookmarked etc. I really need the support. Thank you again for taking the time to reply.

Thank you so much!!!!

Yes, my husband also has a LOT of trouble with new learning, although he did manage the code to the new digital front door lock (last year). Part of the problem is that he never really listened to me, even early on in out marriage. For example, I pointed to out neighbors green bin and said see it's recycle day, not garbage, please put ours out and he moved the neighbor's green bin to in front of our house. He can't follow instructions. He no longer drives and he had a car/garage business, I am relieved he doesn't want to drive or ask to. (He was a car nut.) But it is getting worse, I was at the computer in the den and he came in and said who are you? I explained, and he asked me for ID! He has no recollection of this. He seems to come out of the hallucinations. Twice he thought I'd stolen my own car when he was with me.( In the past he's had stolen cars, he once had 30 vintage vehicles.) I've heard some people laugh about these incidents. Geeze, I guess I should too, as I can't change it. But I wasn't expecting this so soon.

My Mom has vascular dementia. She is farther advanced than your husband. She picks at the skin on her arm. I have discussed this with her doctor who says it is a stress reaction. It sounds like the same from your husband. Hopefully his scratching is not hurtful. My Mom actually picks repeatedly and has created scabs. Get your husband checked by a doctor. Also I've noted that some things will get stuck, as if on a loop, and they will ask the same question over and over. Some times just seconds after you just answered it. We do 2 things 1) ask them what you just said and may take some prompting like the first letter of the word. 2) write the answer down. They will pick up the paper and reread it. This will give you a break. Doing things that keep brain pathways going like leading them to the answers rather than just giving the answer (after you have give it to them once or twice) seems to help with retention a little longer.

I understand your feelings. I am 3.5 years into the type of dementia called front lobe. Or more correctly. Frontotemporal lobe dementia. A simple outing to a new restaurant is a challenge as the crowd and / or noise level is enough to unsettle my LOML of 20 good yrs. His carotid stroke damaged the right frontal lobe portion of his brain which largely affects his personality. I pray for strength and peace, have said it many times, we are all in this together, in one way or another we are rowing the same boat. Peace and strength and hugs. We are here for you.

Just a little FYI if you don't get his DL renewed (probably I good idea that he not drive anymore) you can and should get him a state identification card. You do that through the DMV. It looks similar to a DL. It helps for those times he needs identification like flying, etc.