1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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Scott R L | @scottrl | Apr 23 2:41pm

An old joke from Playboy magazine:

A recent survey in England revealed that the public's top three interests were royalty, sex, and health.

In response, a marketing organization created a new novel:
"Lady Chatterly's Liver"

REPLY
2 replies
kamama94 | @kamama94 | Apr 23 2:49pm
In reply to @itchyd "They should know by now that flat Earthy will get them nowhere. (Every time I tell..." + (show)
@itchyd

They should know by now that flat Earthy will get them nowhere.

(Every time I tell this joke, it seems to fall .... you know)

Jump to this post

ROFL

REPLY
kamama94 | @kamama94 | Apr 23 4:30pm

Where did Noah keep his bees?
In the ark hives, of course.

REPLY
1 reply
samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 23 4:52pm
In reply to @itchyd "That's cheating, Sam. Please either submit a comment containing all 1,000 jokes, or 1,000 separate comments,..." + (show)
@itchyd

That's cheating, Sam.

Please either submit a comment containing all 1,000 jokes, or 1,000 separate comments, or some other reasonable combination.

We have standards here.

Jump to this post

I'm from New Jersey. We are all criminals here. We have no standards. Except for Standard Oil, but they keep changing their name to avoid prosecution.

Did you hear?

The economy is so bad that the Mafia just fired three judges in Jersey City.

++++

By the way, speaking of NJ...Santa just got arrested, again, drunk and disorderly in Bayonne, NJ
REPLY
2 replies
samcal9977zz | @samcal9977zz | Apr 23 4:54pm

From the Scottish Isle of Skye

Why do bagpipers walk while they play?

Answer: They are trying to get away from the noise.....

REPLY
1 reply
tim1028 | @tim1028 | Apr 24 12:59am

Don't wear headphones when you vacuum. I just vacuumed the whole house without realizing the vacuum wasn't plugged in.

REPLY
1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 24 6:53am
In reply to @samcal9977zz "I'm from New Jersey. We are all criminals here. We have no standards. Except for Standard..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

I'm from New Jersey. We are all criminals here. We have no standards. Except for Standard Oil, but they keep changing their name to avoid prosecution.

Did you hear?

The economy is so bad that the Mafia just fired three judges in Jersey City.

++++

By the way, speaking of NJ...Santa just got arrested, again, drunk and disorderly in Bayonne, NJ

Jump to this post

I hear that Joyzee cops are now required to perform cavity searches during all routine arrests ..... but the ADA is opposed ....

REPLY
1 reply
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 24 7:00am
In reply to @scottrl "An old joke from Playboy magazine: A recent survey in England revealed that the public's top..." + (show)
@scottrl

An old joke from Playboy magazine:

A recent survey in England revealed that the public's top three interests were royalty, sex, and health.

In response, a marketing organization created a new novel:
"Lady Chatterly's Liver"

Jump to this post

Words of inspiration for Dr. Lecter, no doubt.

REPLY
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 24 7:13am
In reply to @scottrl "An old joke from Playboy magazine: A recent survey in England revealed that the public's top..." + (show)
@scottrl

An old joke from Playboy magazine:

A recent survey in England revealed that the public's top three interests were royalty, sex, and health.

In response, a marketing organization created a new novel:
"Lady Chatterly's Liver"

Jump to this post

Playboy magazine joke from back in the "Charlie's Angels" days:

College students enrolled in courses about ancient Egyptian plumbing techniques are pharaoh faucet majors.

REPLY
itchyd | @itchyd | Apr 24 7:33am
In reply to @samcal9977zz "From the Scottish Isle of Skye Why do bagpipers walk while they play? Answer: They are..." + (show)
@samcal9977zz

From the Scottish Isle of Skye

Why do bagpipers walk while they play?

Answer: They are trying to get away from the noise.....

Jump to this post

The Scottish man, apologizing for his recent arrest for indecent exposure, explained that he'd been feeling a bit out of kilter, lately.

REPLY
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