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Do you control your stuff, or does your stuff control you? If you feel like you fall more into the second category, you’re in league with millions of people who struggle to let go of accumulated belongings. For some, it’s more than an annoyance. An estimated 2% to 6% of Americans have a psychological condition called hoarding disorder. This condition is about three times more likely to occur in the retirement years than in midlife.
The risks of hoarding to health and well-being include increased risk of falls and fires, lack of hygiene, difficulty preparing food and getting good sleep, social isolation, job and financial difficulties, and housing difficulties, such as having heat or electricity cut off.
Whether you or a loved one simply has a lot of clutter or falls into the hoarding category, taking steps to reduce clutter can have important benefits.
Up front, find ways to reduce the amount of stuff you bring into the home. Ask of each potentially acquired item if you have an immediate use for it, time to deal with it appropriately, money to afford it and space to put it.
When you’re ready to clean existing clutter in a room, have supplies and a strategy before you begin, including:
- Making a spot for everything — Have four containers labeled “trash,” “recycle,” “sell or donate,” and “keep.”
- Asking hard questions of every item — Do I need it? Do I have a plan to use it? Have I used it in the last year? Do I have space to keep it? Make every item justify its continuing presence.
- Pacing yourself — Give yourself breaks. If you feel overwhelmed, stop. It’s a stressful, draining process. Rushing things or pushing through severe anxiety can be counterproductive.
- Having an exit strategy — Put garbage and recycling in bins outside the home. Take donations to a drop-off site. Immediately place ads or create online posts for things to sell or give away. Things allowed to linger in the residence are less likely to be removed.
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@frannee Just keep refusing to let him bring it home.
Have an office estate sale, then donate and write off the rest.
Due to a very nasty and expensive divorce YEARS ago, I was left with a house and all the contents of 30 years of marriage and children. When the dust settled I was left with no child support and no spousal support, and was disabled. So I had to sell the house because I could not afford the taxes and with the proceeds bought a small travel trailer and truck to "live" it.
Needless to say, 30 years of household belongings, memories, beautiful expensive furniture, etc had to go in "60" days as I didn't even have enough money to rent a place to move it all to, let alone afford to move it, being disabled.
I learned then, nearly 15 years ago, things are just "stuff"; you can't take it with you.
Since then I have attached myself to nothing, except God.
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6 ReactionsIn our area, we have “pickers” who come by late afternoon the day before or early on bulk collection day (weekly- you call in for a pick-up). After surgery, when my walks were limited to the neighborhood, I started noticing that the pickers were universally driving old pick-ups, dressed in worn clothes, wearing frayed baseball caps. When a neighbor was helping me put garage stuff out (broken rakes, old brooms, a metal filing cabinet). One stopped by and we got to talking, he looked late 50’s, this is his job. He lives in a town that has a huge swap meet every week in summer and all town yard sale.
My point is- there are poor people in every area, don’t be annoyed at pickers, talk to them, make a new friend. I asked for his phone number, told him I was going to be decluttering and would text him along the way, so he would be the one to get the stuff. I started with the linen closet. He was so happy when he came for a bag full of tablecloths, cloth napkins, placemats, and a box with a 12 place set of Phalfsgraft dishes now too heavy for me (I bought some Corelle- much lighter).
I have to confess, while bagging and boxing all that, I called my sister crying, remembering the old days of holiday dinners with our once big family- our parents, aunts, uncles, many cousins have all passed, the few left don’t travel. Our kids all live hundreds of miles away. Lots of happy memories, though.
I did a lot of basement and workshop clean-out with the same guy, “trading” what I needed done when my husband went into assistive living. I traded tools for him to assemble a moving garage rack so I could get stuff up off the floor. Traded an old drill press and more tools for him to have someone he knew make and install a replacement sidewalk drain piece that was rusted out. Traded an old twin bed and mattress set up in the attic for him to also bring down a very heavy bookcase and put it in my living room and a weight bench set (he took that). He brought a nephew to help with those. I tipped both.
Doing it that way meant I could do things at my own speed, didn’t need to find and pay someone, I’ve helped someone who can use the extra money because I’m fine with what I have, I’ve avoided the work and aggravation of trying to sell on Marketplace or have a yard sale, and I feel calmness knowing what’s left to declutter, I can physically manage on my own.
My latest? I no longer have the right arm strength to push my Lazy-Boy handle down far enough to put the foot-piece down. I’ve ordered a power model and my picker guy is coming next week with his nephew, to take the Lazy-boy. He cares for his mother, so I’m imagining Grandma enjoying a new chair ( his sister does daytime care). Our house is non-smoking, no pets, so should be okay.
Do what is easiest for you. I too have memory shoeboxes for each of my parents, my husband, and me. A few years ago, when each kid came, I told them to take now anything they wanted from the house. My son took tools and my daughter took a small vase and a stained glass window hanging that belonged to her grandmother.
Kids today don’t want our stuff.
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8 Reactions@joyann80, I'm sorry to hear that you struggle with depression and hoarding. You have taken the first important step in recognizing that you want and need help. You might be interested in this related discussion:
- Positive Awareness+ Medical Intervention (Spravato) + Lifestyle https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/spravatoesketamine/