Why don’t anxiety meds work for me?

To @rick98
I, unfortunately, put myself into this horror show. All I wanted was to be nearer to one of my sisters who has stage 4 cancer. I haven’t seen her in more than 12 years. We have no idea how much longer she’ll be on this earth as she has already exceeded the life expectancy the oncologists gave her. I should have left well enough alone. My husband is 8 years older than I and in poor health. I wonder how or if I will manage if he predeceases me. I have no one else. I saw my therapist today and told him about this morning’s total meltdown. My husband tried valiantly to control my outburst and console me. My heart palpitations are frightening.

I truly understand that condition with anxiety, panic, insomnia, depression and everything you explained because I have lived it and currently live it. I know you're not exaggerating and people can misinterpret seeing a person lying in bed under the covers with their eyes either closed or with an eye mask on thinking they're asleep while in truth that person could be just trying to maintain as calm as possible while they endure the sleeplessness which then this insomnia leaves us even more disregulated with myriad symptoms day after day barely surviving it. I have been through it in about 10 episodes of varying
duration since my first one at 24 and at different points up to this present episode at near 62. Somehow I try to not lose my mind with symptoms literally minute by minute. I am convinced that in my case it's due to early childhood trauma and a series of other childhood, adolescent and adulthood traumas that my basic characteristics as a human being were not and are not capable of coping with properly. Parents divorced when I finished 8th grade never showed much love to each other, father died suddenly when I graduated high school. I resorted back then in my adolescence to heavy alcohol and some substance use not much but some and I understand the reasons now. I've dealt with gambling addiction in my life that was ruinous as well as severe chronic episodic mental illness mainly intractable depression with anxiety and insomnia. Unfortunately, now I am certain that a medication that was introduced to me legitimately by doctors for anxiety Clonezepam (Klonopin) has over time taken mainly as prescribed has altered my brain and is causing the very same anxiety as well as other symptoms it was prescribed to alleviate. I'm very frightened for the future of being cut off of this medication as it is being prescribed less and less because of the now known dangers of long-term use and the consequences of protracted acute withdrawal syndrome that can and often does afflict patients on this type of medication long-term legitimately who either wean off or can no longer be prescribed and get cut off. It's an unimaginable nightmare that many have faced and are facing which I may face also in the future. I feel like I've been blindsided by all these realities in my life and it's day by day overwhelming. I want to pull myself together and get back to living a normal life as I have so many times in my life but I find I just want to lie in bed as comfortable as possible as I suffer through the daily nightmare with anxiety, much insomnia and depression and fear I love with barely coping like an injured, cornered, trapped animal just staying alive in a constant state of torment.
I completely understand the difficulties and struggles you mention and I validate them truly. I pray to a GOD that I don't understand for all of us suffering in so many ways and you are also in those prayers. After so much suffering I comprehend and empathize with other sufferers.
I finally slept last night well. For me it seems like I get one night of sleep either for a few hours or a full night every other day. It's very hard. Of course, I pray that you will somehow manage to get sleep whenever you can and get relief somehow from your anxiety as well🙏

@mikaylar
I had been taking Ativan for a long time and it basically stopped working for me. Sometimes I think the pharmaceutical companies “forget” to put the active ingredients in the pills. I am feeling terrible this morning and don’t know what to do. In December, I had convinced myself that I was addicted to Ativan and against my husband’s advice I spent a fortune at a detox center. Well, I was not addicted to it at all. But I am reluctant to take a pill now even though my heart is pounding wildly as sometimes I feel worse from the Ativan. I feel like screaming but what will that do to help me?

Who cares if you are addicted if they work!

To @rick98
My heart is beating so fast I can’t stand it. My husband is making some breakfast for me as my legs are so shaky I can’t stand barely walk. My speak is impaired, too. In trying to sleep last night, I twisted my neck. Took some acetaminophen but it wore off. I can’t go to the Emergency Room as they will just call an ambulance and send me to a lock down facility. That’s what they do here in Arizona when people with depression/anxiety go there seeking help. It happened to me at Thanksgiving time. I was threatened that if I didn’t go, they would make it worse for me. I pleaded with them to help me as I was dehydrated but they didn’t care. I have basically been ‘banned’ from my local hospital’s Emergency Room.

To @rick98
My heart is beating so fast I can’t stand it. My husband is making some breakfast for me as my legs are so shaky I can’t stand barely walk. My speak is impaired, too. In trying to sleep last night, I twisted my neck. Took some acetaminophen but it wore off. I can’t go to the Emergency Room as they will just call an ambulance and send me to a lock down facility. That’s what they do here in Arizona when people with depression/anxiety go there seeking help. It happened to me at Thanksgiving time. I was threatened that if I didn’t go, they would make it worse for me. I pleaded with them to help me as I was dehydrated but they didn’t care. I have basically been ‘banned’ from my local hospital’s Emergency Room.

@mikaylar
I had been taking Ativan for a long time and it basically stopped working for me. Sometimes I think the pharmaceutical companies “forget” to put the active ingredients in the pills. I am feeling terrible this morning and don’t know what to do. In December, I had convinced myself that I was addicted to Ativan and against my husband’s advice I spent a fortune at a detox center. Well, I was not addicted to it at all. But I am reluctant to take a pill now even though my heart is pounding wildly as sometimes I feel worse from the Ativan. I feel like screaming but what will that do to help me?

When full on anxiety and racing heart starts lie down and breathing deep through your nose and then slowly breath out your mouth exhaling all air until your abdomen rises to fill your lungs inhale slowly exhale slowly and while exhaling through the mouth slowly hum the word "vooooooooooo..." until all your air is expelled and repeat it over and over for as long as you like rhythmically 15 minutes, 1/2 hour and hour or more to get your controlled breathing this way to calm your nervous system. The modern healthcare system is extremely flawed out of ignorance and arrogance and I understand what you're saying about the emergency rooms; it's completely wrong and abusive and in these cases they don't help. Unless it's life threatening in some way I, myself, do not go to the ER. If you Google Dr. Peter Levine and watch a podcast where he describes the technique he developed that I described to you above. He uses it with patients to calm panic attacks and nervous system flair ups. I understand you, I empathize and pray daily for us.🙏💜

Do you suffer insomnia every night or do you have bad nights and better nights? Sometimes the depression, anxiety and insomnia are caused by the medication we take. I would never say stop any that is for you and your Dr. to decide. For me the Clonezepam I am dependent on works some nights well for me to sleep and other nights I am wide awake all night with anxiety. It seems like I have one good night followed by a bad one. Deep breathing lying down for hours and praying is what I have to do often.

After a while of your heart racing does it eventually slow down say after a half hour or hour? The detox centers are not educated and do not understand tapering of Benzodiazepines like Ativan or others. In fact, by cutting off cold turkey that can harm a patient. They must be tapered very slowly in slow amounts over sometimes years. If a person gets cut off for a period of time then when they reinstate the original antianxiety medication it has a paradoxical effect depending on the window of abstinence in being cut off. What doctors do sometimes is reinstate the medicine in small increments daily to get it to work again at the original dose. Again, I am not telling you to do that. I'm just offering information that I have learned from credible sources like Dr. Josef Witt Doerring and is numerous podcasts on YouTube with patients and other experts.