"WHY BOTHER?" What can we do when we are stuck?

Posted by Parus @parus, Sat, Feb 9 7:02am

This has been brought up before in things that help. Now maybe some can share how we get out of a rut to help ourselves. We all get stuck stuck at times. Curious as to what others do when stuck in that thought mode of "Why Bother?"

Well, that "why bother" question does keep running around in my mind. This I have labeled self pity. Time to just keep trying to navigate the ping pong ball technique for better health. Is it any wonder some give up? Getting to appointments has become overwhelming. I see a specialist only to get bounced back to PCP to be bounced to another specialist. I keep trying y'all!!!

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@parus– IF you are asking this question, you care @parus. People who don't care really don't ask questions."Why Bother?" Because you were born and live on this planet and have a family, if for no other reason than care about them. That's a good enough reason. Some people have to struggle all their lives unfortunately it's their ilk, their life stamp. Being alive is a serious responsibility. We have to make the most of it no matter what life brings us. What do you think?

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@parus — I think you know that if you didn't try to deal with it, you would feel defeated and worse. I was going through a period of time where I had a LOT going on at once, and those appointments were a serious annoyance to meet. It's fine to whine sometimes, we all do, but I would be careful about labeling it as self-pity unless you didn't DO something. Press onward … 🙂

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@merpreb

Parus- What is going ? Bad day?

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@merpreb Not a particularly bad day and not why I posted. Mostly just frustrated and wondering at times "why bother"? That is all. We can all get discouraged at times. It doesn't mean I or anyone else is giving up. Just means another plan fell through. I am my own best cheerleader for the most part. Hope you are happy.

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@guener

@parus — I think you know that if you didn't try to deal with it, you would feel defeated and worse. I was going through a period of time where I had a LOT going on at once, and those appointments were a serious annoyance to meet. It's fine to whine sometimes, we all do, but I would be careful about labeling it as self-pity unless you didn't DO something. Press onward … 🙂

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@guener Thank you for understanding and not lecturing. This is helpful.

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@merpreb

@parus– IF you are asking this question, you care @parus. People who don't care really don't ask questions."Why Bother?" Because you were born and live on this planet and have a family, if for no other reason than care about them. That's a good enough reason. Some people have to struggle all their lives unfortunately it's their ilk, their life stamp. Being alive is a serious responsibility. We have to make the most of it no matter what life brings us. What do you think?

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@merpreb Input always appreciated.

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@parus

@merpreb Not a particularly bad day and not why I posted. Mostly just frustrated and wondering at times "why bother"? That is all. We can all get discouraged at times. It doesn't mean I or anyone else is giving up. Just means another plan fell through. I am my own best cheerleader for the most part. Hope you are happy.

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@parus– Ok. I didn't mean to lecture you but you have spoken this line before when you were down. I take things literally. Glad that you are having a good day. I answered the question though.

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@parus

Well, that "why bother" question does keep running around in my mind. This I have labeled self pity. Time to just keep trying to navigate the ping pong ball technique for better health. Is it any wonder some give up? Getting to appointments has become overwhelming. I see a specialist only to get bounced back to PCP to be bounced to another specialist. I keep trying y'all!!!

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@parus I am glad to see you this morning! We each have our ways to face obstacles thrown in our paths. Some work one day, but not the next. For me, the "why bother" means a step to the side to reconsider my response and try again. I bother because after all these years, I realize I do matter. That ping pong ball analogy is great!
Ginger

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I think that you can be your own worst enemy. By DOING, the thoughts change. DO SOMETHING. If you wait for thoughts to change, you will have a long wait. DO!!!!!!! Regardless of your thoughts, DO something. Don't let your thoughts be in command. By doing, your thoughts might just turn around. Why would they change, if you do nothing????? Change the stimulus!!!!! Don't analyze the negative thought. DO!!!!!! Good luck, Lori Renee

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@parus Mind is the builder so put positive ideas in your mind not negative thoughts as we think ,we are

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@gingerw Heard there's measles now in Orange Co. Little girl in children's another C.S.Irvine

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Last 9 yrs I have been grieving….MY sweet Husband died. 38 YR OLD Daughter had a stroke. Grandson now has mental illness and hates me and his mom. Its like a knife in the heart. I am 76 I will die with him hating me. Too much to deal with.
He was my golden grand child for so long… sweet, kind, loving . I also have 2 grown sons. Not close by.
Other relatives are gone . I feel 1/2 alive but grateful I can walk and talk .

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@dianrib It is so often the little things we cling to so as to keep going rather than giving up. I remind myself too about how I am still ambulatory. Now trying to get motivated to get some flowers in pots even though it seems silly to do so. I do enjoy green and growing things and just because others do not share my enthusiasm is no reason to "stop bothering".
I am sorry your grandson has issues. They do grow up and change. We all do. Growing old for some seems to go smoothly and gracefully. the body does wear down. Sending you a cyber hug and saying your grandson changing is not your fault and I know it hurts you terribly. How old is he now?

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I'm so sorry life is so hard. Grief and loss are so painful. I lost everything I cared about in a very short time in 2017. I lost hope. I had to rebuild my life. I attended a program called DBT. It's about building a life worth living. I highly recommend it. Life is better now, I still am dealing with feelings of loss, but In order to improve I have to grieve otherwise you'll never move forward.

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@dianrib

Last 9 yrs I have been grieving….MY sweet Husband died. 38 YR OLD Daughter had a stroke. Grandson now has mental illness and hates me and his mom. Its like a knife in the heart. I am 76 I will die with him hating me. Too much to deal with.
He was my golden grand child for so long… sweet, kind, loving . I also have 2 grown sons. Not close by.
Other relatives are gone . I feel 1/2 alive but grateful I can walk and talk .

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@dianrib, I am terribly sorry to hear about all these losses. That is a lot.

Related to your golden grandchild who has mental illness and you feel now hates you and his mom, that sounds very painful. If you know his diagnosis, I'd suggest posting about it in the Depression & Anxiety group https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/depression-anxiety/ or the Mental Health group (diagnoses outside of those that are depression and anxiety-related) https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/mental-health/ here on Connect to get some feedback and ideas from members familiar with that diagnosis.

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