When Was The Last Time You Were Happy?

Posted by dfb @dfb, Dec 8, 2023

It has been a long time since I’ve been really happy. Sure I have had moments were I’ve been distracted by brief periods of feeling “happy” but the last time I was truly happy is almost two decades ago.

Before the diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, the pharmacological circus and mind numbing treatments, I was happy. My life since has been a series of hard to believe made for television melodramas.

The last time I was happy I was with my wife and children at Beaver Tail in Rhode Island. If you know the spot then you know on perfect summer day the promontory that juts out into the Atlantic Ocean can turn in Atheists onto believer. Greenfields leading to cliffs where the waves break lead to walking paths that circle the light house. The bridges leading from the main land to Newport are breath taking. The air fresh and clean.

On a perfect summer day my wife and I played with our children for hours on end. No plans. No structure. Just the joy of our children running around and exploring the world, oblivious to the cares of the world.

As I am getting better I find myself searching for those precious moments of happiness. Even the sadness I feel from all that has passed since can not dimmish the warmth they provider to my broken heart.

Today I realized that in those wonderous moments I felt no regrets for what had past nor any concerns for what the future might bring. I was fully and truly in the moment. My family always gave me that gift of relief from what I call the "burden of self".

I believe that if I can let go of the regrets and grief of the past and wipe away my concerns about what tomorrow will bring I might be happy again.

What about you, when was the last time you were happy?

Please share what you do today to embrace the joy in the now!

Thank you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

I was happy before Thanksgiving (2023) when my brother and his wife and kids came over and we played games and went to a safari (yes there is one in Mississippi). I haven't laughed so hard before in a long time before they came over.

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Haven't been really happy for a long time. I left Maui and took the RV out to travel, got hurt, had 4 back surgeries. Had to find a place to live to recover r. Bought a house inn east bum f**k Texas. Been here 5 years, use a walker and scooter to get
around.
Adult children
have abandoned us and don't speak to us My life sucks!
Just had a total emotional breakdown and am just
Coming out of it.
Holidays are hardest. I reay hate my life. Not sure I'll ever be truly happy again. I'm just marking off the days

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Thank you for posting such a thought provoking question. I find moments of happiness in being with my grandchildren. My 11 year old granddaughter has been my Christmas tree decorator since she was almost 3 years old. Lately I have been trying to focus on the moment and enjoy the gifts of life.

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I try to focus on my daughter now as she has brought me so much joy. She recently has become engaged. In her very younger years, she was a total pain in the rear. We both were diagnosed with ADHD which brought many verbal fights, disagreements, etc. As she has grown up to be a more mature adult, we've forgotten our past and am looking forward to the future.

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@floralou

Haven't been really happy for a long time. I left Maui and took the RV out to travel, got hurt, had 4 back surgeries. Had to find a place to live to recover r. Bought a house inn east bum f**k Texas. Been here 5 years, use a walker and scooter to get
around.
Adult children
have abandoned us and don't speak to us My life sucks!
Just had a total emotional breakdown and am just
Coming out of it.
Holidays are hardest. I reay hate my life. Not sure I'll ever be truly happy again. I'm just marking off the days

Jump to this post

I often feel as you describe.

The last time I saw my children they were children, they are now young adults. Sometimes knowing that they may need me one day, even if only to have someone to through rocks at, is enough.

It also helps that I feel a sense of purpose. I want to share my story in the hope that my experience might help someone as your post has helped me.

I hope you find the peace you deserve.

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Ugh…never?
I was an abused child, went on to an abusive marriage. Made a lot of bad choices because of PTSD. Now I’m alone and live in poverty.

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We moved to TN almost 6 years ago and I always thought it would be the perfect area to retire to because it’s in the middle of where we have relatives in FL and in NY, without the FL and NY taxes, however no one has come to visit us except for our son in laws mother who they are from the Memphis area. We lived in another area of TN before this so we became alittle familiar with the surrounding communities and where we live presently I always thought would be a perfect area to live at because coming from previously a much smaller town in TN we have a lot more amenities since then. I am very hurt though by my relatives refusing to come see us. A cousin in FL has even been known to fly up to NY to visit her son, yet hasn’t made the effort to come see me. A childhood girlfriend of mine who lives in PA once told me she would never live South of the Mason Dixie line due to how she feels the people are there. I don’t associate with anyone who I feel would be out to give me a hard time. (I have enough problems going on in my own family as it is at times.) We visited my younger brother in NY in prior years but he has never made the effort to come visit us. My only nephew lives there too. My husband and I are both from NY. It’s sad when the holidays are supposed to be about spending time with family and friends.

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@walk4life

Thank you for posting such a thought provoking question. I find moments of happiness in being with my grandchildren. My 11 year old granddaughter has been my Christmas tree decorator since she was almost 3 years old. Lately I have been trying to focus on the moment and enjoy the gifts of life.

Jump to this post

Thank you. I so need to get back to living in the present... moment by moment.

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@liv38556

We moved to TN almost 6 years ago and I always thought it would be the perfect area to retire to because it’s in the middle of where we have relatives in FL and in NY, without the FL and NY taxes, however no one has come to visit us except for our son in laws mother who they are from the Memphis area. We lived in another area of TN before this so we became alittle familiar with the surrounding communities and where we live presently I always thought would be a perfect area to live at because coming from previously a much smaller town in TN we have a lot more amenities since then. I am very hurt though by my relatives refusing to come see us. A cousin in FL has even been known to fly up to NY to visit her son, yet hasn’t made the effort to come see me. A childhood girlfriend of mine who lives in PA once told me she would never live South of the Mason Dixie line due to how she feels the people are there. I don’t associate with anyone who I feel would be out to give me a hard time. (I have enough problems going on in my own family as it is at times.) We visited my younger brother in NY in prior years but he has never made the effort to come visit us. My only nephew lives there too. My husband and I are both from NY. It’s sad when the holidays are supposed to be about spending time with family and friends.

Jump to this post

It's heartbreaking no one comes to visit. I'm in TX, only because of an injury and multiple surgeries. NY children and 1 grandchild live in Oregon. They have decided to completely abandon us and we have no family anywhere near. Next time Ilk move West closer to them, never farther away.

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@lizziel1

Ugh…never?
I was an abused child, went on to an abusive marriage. Made a lot of bad choices because of PTSD. Now I’m alone and live in poverty.

Jump to this post

I have come to believe that from the moment of consciousness until day I die life is suffering punctuated by moments of transcendent joy. It seems to me that no one escapes this reality.

The most direct route I have found to that joy is living in the moment.

The only shortcut I have found to living in the moment is loving others. And truly loving others requires that I love myself and that ain't easy.

I have also found that it is harder for me to love those closest to me who may have wounded me the most, then it is to love a stranger.

I have found no other path to peace. Maybe one day humanity will transcend suffering but not today.

I hope you find the peace you deserve.

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