When Was The Last Time You Were Happy?

It has been a long time since I’ve been really happy. Sure I have had moments were I’ve been distracted by brief periods of feeling “happy” but the last time I was truly happy is almost two decades ago.

Before the diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, the pharmacological circus and mind numbing treatments, I was happy. My life since has been a series of hard to believe made for television melodramas.

The last time I was happy I was with my wife and children at Beaver Tail in Rhode Island. If you know the spot then you know on perfect summer day the promontory that juts out into the Atlantic Ocean can turn in Atheists onto believer. Greenfields leading to cliffs where the waves break lead to walking paths that circle the light house. The bridges leading from the main land to Newport are breath taking. The air fresh and clean.

On a perfect summer day my wife and I played with our children for hours on end. No plans. No structure. Just the joy of our children running around and exploring the world, oblivious to the cares of the world.

As I am getting better I find myself searching for those precious moments of happiness. Even the sadness I feel from all that has passed since can not dimmish the warmth they provider to my broken heart.

Today I realized that in those wonderous moments I felt no regrets for what had past nor any concerns for what the future might bring. I was fully and truly in the moment. My family always gave me that gift of relief from what I call the "burden of self".

I believe that if I can let go of the regrets and grief of the past and wipe away my concerns about what tomorrow will bring I might be happy again.

What about you, when was the last time you were happy?

Please share what you do today to embrace the joy in the now!

Thank you!