@pearlbaby7 – Good morning. Flare ups are scary and very trying. I think that depression is and up and down state. Something has triggered your depression- maybe reminded you or your subconscious of a painful time. The heaviness in your chess is stress, most likely, anxiety, etc. If you are overly concerned please see your doctor. Better to rule out things than suffer from them. Has any recent thing happened that has been trying?

The best way I have found when depression visits, is to just go with it. You know what it is, and you know it won’t stay and you’ll get through it. I don’t discount the physical issues, and if concerning enough, certainly have your vitals checked. Chances are the physical and emotional are linked, but be sure you are comfortable with the relationship.

@merpreb @elwooodsdad Thank you for your feedback. I realize from various posts that many people feel anxiety and depression together. Anxiety is a separate thing for me and my symptoms for it are different than this. Nor do I think it's my heart. I guess I just wanted to know if anyone feels depression dips the way I do–the heaviness being a symptom I haven't heard connected to just depression.
It's not important. Thank you again for your posts.

@pearlbaby7 – of course it's important! Can you please explain further about your anxiety. I sometimes feel it separately and sometimes it's when I'm depressed, as I think about it, I can feel a difference. Hmmm. I think this when I say thank you for my aha moment!. By dips do you mean that they come and go or that when they come they get worse?

recepie. For those who like Kale and soup. Saute chop onions ,minced garlic till soft and brown add Veggie broth 1/2carton add small potatoes 1/2them cook till tender Salt Pepper to taste then cut up Kale size you want on top cover remove from heat My Mom,s favorite soup ,mine too

@merpreb When I feel anxiety I feel tense throughout my whole body and can't stop talking. My thoughts obsess on whatever I'm feeling anxious about.
By the end of 1999 I'd been on every antidepressant available and had had 9 CSTs (I would never recommend them) in three weeks which did no good. My swings were going lower and lasting longer. I called Research Hospital who put me in touch with a doctor that put me on an MAOI. It doesn't make me happy but keeps me pretty level. I've only had one major dip since then.
This dip isn't the lowest I've been but I'm down there far enough that I'm not able to follow through on a couple things I'd normally be happy/excited about. I've been this way for a couple weeks. If I do have a bad day recently it's usually just a day. It's been so long since I've been in this place (because of the meds) I've forgotten whether carrying this weight around is part of it or just a new piece of it. I thought if anyone else felt this without the anxiety it would mean I'd just forgotten.

The thing I have learned with flare-ups is that in the past I have gotten through them. When I am there it feels as though it will not end and the fear of the darkness not ending exacerbates the flare. There are times these flares have been my body telling me to get things checked out physically. An infection can cause anxiety. Since I have anxiety most of the time when it gets worse and I don’t know why I take time to do inventory for a possible physical reason.
A thought.

@parus I understand. When I'm stressing it gets better when the trigger gets resolved.
This time it's not about stress. I'm having a strictly depression episode. I'm hoping it improves soon. Maybe writing about it is an improvement. I hope it means I'm doing better although I regretted posting.
Thank you your support.

@pearlbaby7 No need to regret posting about your fears. It is unsettling when depression returns. Does the anxiety become worse with the return of depression?

@parus. No. I'm not having any anxiety, just depression acting up.

@pearlbaby7 Thank you for posting about your concerns. We are always here for each other as a cyber community around a kitchen table that we can picture in our minds. Depression and anxiety, whether they are together or separate, are never a fun place to be. Whether it's a mild or a severe attack, we'd like it to be finished as soon as possible! No need to feel regretful that you posted about it to have others feedback. That's how we learn about what to do to take care of ourselves.
Ginger

@pearlbaby7– I'm sorry that you are going through this again. I've been feeling angry lately. I know the cause but I'm not sure that I can reconcile it. What were the CST's like? I understand about your anxiety. I can't sit or stand still if I'm anxious. I drive my husband nuts with it. lol. This is one of the reasons why I take CBD oil.

Lyn- Why do you regret posting about your depression? This is why we are all here in this group. To share our woes and flare ups and everything! I hope that today brings you a better day!

@merpreb It was about 20 years ago. A girl that was waiting for her next session had deep burns on the sides of her face that came from the electrodes. Fortunately that didn't happen to me. They put me in the psychiatrict ward the weekend before. I had three per week for three weeks. They put you to sleep I think before they start. I don't remember what happened during the actual "treatment". It may work for some people. I lost memories. Some of them returned when a friend would tell me about it. Some did not. Like driving from Joplin to Kansas City's airport in a blizzard, picking up a friend that had to get home. I turned around and drove back to southern Missouri in the blizzard, out to the boonies to take her home, then back to Joplin. That was a big memory to lose and not get back. It was three months before I could remember who I was and be able to go back to work. And…it didn't help the depression. The doctor insisted I say it helped me. I kept telling him it didn't. So, once again, it was time to find a new doctor.

@merpreb I'm sorry you're going through this right now. I'm glad your husband is hanging in there for you. Anxiety sucks and how it displays itself can be a challenge for you and those in your world. I hope your symptoms ease soon and give you both some relief. Cyberhugs!