What were the first dementia signs you noticed?

Posted by bclane @bclane, Dec 22, 2024

My husband has vascular dementia as a result of at least 7 TIAs and 1 larger stroke as shown on an MRI. The only one we were aware of was a TIA in 2016. I'm guessing that some or all of the others may have happened in his sleep because there were no obvious signs like there were with the 2016 one.

Anyway, I've been thinking back to things that seemed "off" well before I started suspecting a problem. One thing was that he started mixing up pronouns. He'd refer to a female pet as "he" and vice-versa. He still does and he mostly does it with animals. He'll also tell a male pet that's he's a "good girl" and vice-versa.

When it first happened, it became a joke, but now I wonder if that was one of the first signs that something wasn't functioning the way it should. I'm curious if others can think of things that seemed "off" before the problem became obvious.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Caregivers: Dementia Support Group.

Becky, Volunteer Mentor | @becsbuddy | Jun 8 12:47am

In reply to @lpb "My husband started laughing inappropriately.Acted like everything was a joke when people talked to him." + (show)

Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect @lpb ! I hope you’ll like it! This is a great group of caregivers, always helping and encouraging each other. I think you’ll fit right in!

trishaanderson | @trishaanderson | Jun 8 6:56am

In reply to @lpb "My husband started laughing inappropriately.Acted like everything was a joke when people talked to him." + (show)

My husband still laughs inappropriately. I think he doesn't understand what they are talking about, so he laughs like he's part of the conversation.

lmr23 | @lmr23 | Jun 8 8:39am

In reply to @thereaklenb "One day my wife went to unload the dishwasher and could not remember where to put..." + (show)

My Mom’s seemingly sudden loss of cognitive function scared me too!

marketlink | @marketlink | Jun 9 12:00am

In reply to @lpb "My husband started laughing inappropriately.Acted like everything was a joke when people talked to him." + (show)

I’m experiencing this too. He laughed when our niece caught covid and I find him laughing inappropriately when people share sad things or during sad parts of movies. I also see that he’s lost the ability to read a room and interpret social cues during conversations. 😥

wmc | @wmc | Jun 13 7:34pm

In reply to @steilacoomcaregiver "I saw that with my husband too. Difficult to assemble everything and have it come out..." + (show)

My husband is the same, has lost interest in just about everything. He doesn’t want to use his iPhone or MacBook since he has forgotten how to navigate them.

wctdoc1943 | @wctdoc1943 | Jun 20 11:34am

In reply to @thereaklenb "One day my wife went to unload the dishwasher and could not remember where to put..." + (show)

My wife cannot remember where things go, other than the plates, but puts things wherever she can find space, and then I have to look for things (I do all the food preparation). She also likes to rearrange the utensil drawers and food pantry. I try to empty the dishwasher and put things away before she gets to it.

thereaklenb | @thereaklenb | Jun 21 12:04am

In reply to @wctdoc1943 "My wife cannot remember where things go, other than the plates, but puts things wherever she..." + (show)

My wife used to do 90% of the meal planning and cooking and she loved it. Now she asks if she can help me with preparation of meals and I try to find simple thinks for her to do but sometimes even grating cheese is a challenge -- so sad.

pamela78 | @pamela78 | Jun 21 7:23am

In reply to @thereaklenb "My wife used to do 90% of the meal planning and cooking and she loved it...." + (show)

My husband wants to help me make dinner too, something he never did before. Our kitchen is small and it's really better for me if he goes into another room. I appreciate his efforts to be helpful but something he's just too helpful, about this and other things. It's annoying more than anything so I just thank him and tell him, No, there's nothing you can do. He has other tasks he can do very well and he takes great pride in that. I cannot imagine being inside his head.

jeanadair123 | @jeanadair123 | Jun 21 10:44am

Lately confusing his wallet with his phone, he’s looking for his wallet and finds his phone, he thinks his phone is his wallet. Putting things in wrong places just like the other person said and putting items anywhere as long as he can find a space for them. Irritating but nothing I can’t handle.

ret2tus | @ret2tus | Jun 22 9:21am

Not the first signs, but the latest...he has Post-It notes with names, addresses and phone numbers on his desk and computer because he's "lost" his Contacts list on his computer and phone. And he gets even more agitated if I offer to help him.