What were the first signs you noticed?

About 5 years prior, when they were 82, I noticed that they were losing their competency in cooking, something they always did very well. Like for example, the fancy omelet they used to make became rather plain with none of the little touches that used to make it fancy and the presentation was off. And they didn't cook as much, too. Otherwise they were sharp mentally and still physically active like ever before.

Then 3 years later they fell while getting dressed and had facture. The chronic pain of this seemed to morph quickly into diagnosed dementia and within 6 months they went like 95% of what they were to like 30% before they were stabilized with medications. They know who people are but can not verbalize too much and can just about get around without help.

Looking back i I see that things were "off" for quite a few years but I couldn't see it back then.

My husband was always able to create something beautiful out of used items. About 10 years ago he became physically unable to do this but had a handyman friend who could follow his instructions and between the two of them they made it work. There came a time when his plans no longer made sense. He couldn't see what was obviously wrong. I wrote it off to miscommunication between these two aging men. I now realize it was something more.

Driving was the first thing but he was never a cautious driver. He slowly became more reckless. When he got lost trying to go to the bank and became agitated was the beginning of realizing something was wrong. The ultimate was when I had to take over the finances. He was sitting at the table and shuffled the papers but not getting anything done. This started over 10 years ago. At the beginning I thought this I ok. We were still ok doing things together. Now I wonder how much longer can we continue. What happens if I have an emergency,
He doesn’t know how to use the phone, drive etc. I think I’ll be relying on my smart watch or my phone

IT’s been about 3 years since I first noticed my husband had memory problems because he started being unable to drive places he should have known the directions for. Over this time he occasionally told me or other people a few outlandish stories that you knew right away had to be made up. He always forgets where he puts things and then spends hours looking for them. I had a hard time accepting his problem (I still do) because we have been married for 55 years and always depended on each other. Lately he has started accusing me of doing things which I did not do and getting mad at me. After a day or two of this we finally discuss it and he asks for my forgiveness! It’s really hard to deal with. We went to a neurologist and he did blood work and an MRI but said nothing showed up just a short term memory problem.

My husband got lost several times, too, going to places he had been innumerable times before. When that happened the first time, I knew things were going wrong. Naturally, my first thought was Alzheimer's, but the neurologist ruled that out. His problems are due to the strokes. As I said in my original post, we didn't even see signs of most of the strokes, which is frightening. Every time I get a headache now, I wonder if it's a TIA.

I have been lucky in that my husband gave up driving on his own. Now, that's not to say that won't change. As his condition progresses, he might start thinking he can do it again. He mentioned just yesterday that he thought he'd be able to drive when we were talking about going down to one car since I was the only one driving. I reminded him that he'd gotten lost, and he dropped the subject, but who knows?

I'm also glad that I was always the one who took care of the bills and other things related to finances, too. What I'm having trouble with are things that need to be done around the house and property. Not so much trouble getting them done because if I can't do it and a neighbor can't, I hire someone who can. But I'm not sure I always recognize what all needs to be done because he always handled that. I'm learning, though, and I remind myself that I'd have to do all this if I was single. It helps that I was single for a lot of my younger years, so I've just got to get back in the habit of being in charge of everything myself.

The doc's evaluation seems strange based on the memory issues you mentioned. What about any medications he takes? Could that be causing it? I know statins can affect some people that way and it usually shows up pretty quickly after the medication is started. There might very well be other meds that can cause those symptoms, too. I tried to post a link to a Mayo Clinic article about statin side effects, but it wouldn't let me because I'm new here.

He doesn’t take any medicine. He took statins a few years ago but said they made his head feel funny so he stopped. The neurologist gave him Aricept 5mg but he started having very vivid dreams and stopped taking that as well. The neurologist didn’t even speak to me, so he isn’t aware of the other behavior. I am going to try to get him to see another neurologist, but he doesn’t acknowledge any problems at this point.

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it.

I believe this might be the article you are referring to, please allow me to post it for you.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/high-blood-cholesterol/in-depth/statin-side-effects/art-20046013

Hello. I was able to let my husband's neurologist know about his vivid dreams and lack of REM sleep. I asked about Melatonin. It worked miracles. He also uses c-pap and that helped as well. Everyday is a new issue or another problem . Sometimes it's a lot to deal with..but it all works out in the end! Accusations, Delusional mean comment's. We talk about about it and sometimes he apologizes. My spouse said we had to stop on green lights then turn, forgets where certain physicians are I took the keys and I drive. I would like him to be alive as well as myself. Now he cannot drive for another medical problem. I was relieved. We have been married over 50 plus year's. I want my spouse back..but life does not promise a rose garden. I appreciate all of you, more then you know. Hugs and Thank you! I know I am not alone.

@elm123 Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect ! I’m so glad that you found us and have already participated in the discussions. What can MCC help you with?