What were the first signs you noticed?

Reading about other situations and advice from caregivers is helping me as I try to understand what’s happening with my husband.

My 65 yo husband (with a history of a previous MTBI 10 years ago) has been having way more issues with his brain. We do not have an actual diagnosis aside from MCI which does not seem to be agreed upon. We recently moved and have already been referred to a neurologist. Every several months, for a long time, my husband gets what seems to be TIAs. We do not take him in every time he gets slurred speech along with balance issues and facial numbness as well as not knowing common things in those moments. It has been a part of our life and a waste to keep taking him in. He recently went in because his primary where we were from told us to take him to ER. They admitted him overnight. He does not fit any normal criteria: no high BP, high cholesterol, scans have not shown stroke activity in CT or MRIs. We do know from the past that our neuroscientist said that there can be damage on the cellular level when scans are clear. I know this to be true. But the neuro from this last hospital visit told us that if he had another problem not to come there as we would just get him. I understand not needing CT or MRI. It is a waste of money. But he asked us no personal questions and only visited him the last day after scans were done and hubby was basically back to normal. (Hubby went in and thought we were there for a job. His speech was not slurred, but he didn't know his birthday or date or several other things and was totally confused along with balance and facial numbness... just not slurred this time. He had been having much more memory loss than his usual. He had several very important events within 5 days that he just had no memory of happening. His memory loss is always as if it never happened - Aside from the other type we all get that needs coaxed or reminded. He is also having weird word replacements. Ex. I will put my dirty clothes in the garbage. Or he pronounces things in ways he has never said (last week he was talking about the Ămish instead of Ahmish and correcting me when I casually say it right) and when these things happen, he later has no recollection of it. Lots more blank staring, but I do not believe it is seizures as they checked him 4 years ago. He stops in the middle of something and literally can spend 15 - 20 seconds lowering his head and staring, then continues. If I ask what is he thinking about... nothing. When we moved, I was able to see way more of this between jobs. None of this is life shattering and he returns to normal - of a sort. But something is definitely wrong. I am back to work and I just don't think he can get focused enough to do much. He has never been lazy, but he has no recollection of much of what he does during the day. We have a dog that gets to stay with him and help his focus. But he can't think of things to do and he literally messes up so many things. The simplest things are just so hard. Glueing a piece of wood and not thinking to wipe off the excess. Screwing curtain rods or blinds and so many are loose. He painted some before we moved and he kept missing areas, or putting the wrong paint on the trim (including the wall color). He used to be so good at this post injury. His favorite phrase is "I didn't think of it." The most common sense things: heat on when cold. Eat, he is forgetting to shave and this is so not like him compared to many. He doesn't think to turn the TV on often. This note is too long. I have done several of those online dementia tests and he passes them all when he is in his normal state. To go to a doctor and have them see him when he is normal is probably common, yet not helpful. I need some direction before everyone thinks he is just crazy. That neuro at hospital said to feel free to get more opinions if it brings us comfort. That bothered me, but he did do all the right tests while we were there and he did study the past notes and had no answers. They even did a spinal tap to see if cancer cells got in fluid. Again.. the right thing. CLL But he had no clue what is going on lately in a regular basis. I knew the move would stress him. But it has been long enough and house is in order without the chaos. Thank you for your time. Help on direction before the neuro appt. in January. Might I add... never smoker or drinker.

Regarding first signs of an issue (husband diagnosed with MCI 10 months ago), my husband offered his alcoholic sister a glass of wine, and she had not used alcohol for years. Same day a while later, he laughed when that sister told him another sister had to put her dog down. The inappropriate reactions to emotional information continues.
When thinking back regarding any early signs, the focus on self and insistence that folks pay attention to him was present, but I didn't know it was a sign of self-preservation, I just thought he was being a bit egotistical and since we had just retired I thought he was morphing into his retirement self, which I thought may be a bit different but it was harmless.
Things have gone downhill so fast in less than a year; he keeps me on my toes because I never know what he's going to do next.
Merry Christmas everyone. May we all find inner peace as caregivers.

Same here! We're not alone in this—not that it makes it easier, but it does help.

I guess it's not uncommon for patients to be able to mask their symptoms long enough that others can't see how bad things are. My hubby keeps telling doctor's that he's doing much better, whether they ask about his chronic pain, his sleep, etc... actually, everything is much worse but I can't say anything because he gets really angry with me for days after.

It's helpful for me to vent here but I wish there was more help available.

@azoremama We/come to Mayo Clinic Connect! WE’re glad you’re here. One question: what does CLL stand for?
Look forward to seeing you in other discussions!

Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia... which is why they did the spinal tap.