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What is the funniest thing a doctor has ever said to you?

Posted by scottbeammeup @scottbeammeup, Jun 24 2:59pm

I had a good rapport with my (now retired) General Practitioner. Once, I went to see him for food poisoning. It was campylobacter and he gave me antibiotics. They worked but I got clostridium dificil from the antibiotics and he said I had to take Vancomycin, the antibiotic of last resort.

I asked what happens if it doesn't work? "Well, Scott, then I'm going to have to take you out back and shoot you." He said it so calmly and dryly that I couldn't stop laughing.

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ouch89 | @ouch89 | Sep 21 8:29pm
In reply to @pattymc "At 90 I would rather use the pain meds,,Good ones" + (show)
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At 90 I would rather use the pain meds,,Good ones

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I'm leaning that way, thanks for replying. Being in chronic pain it's difficult to make a rational decision. Looking back prior to my first TKR I had discomfort but nothing like the pain I have today. I had no problem getting about and accomplish my daily activities, but since my first surgery my mobility has been compromised. I should have done my homework and explored the many various interim pain relievers.

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quilterfingers | @quilterfingers | Sep 22 10:31am

Doc said "give me your soul/sole." He was my podiatrist. So he ripped my sole out of my shoe and said look your foot is right up against the end of your shoe. You need a fingers width between toe & tip of the shoe. so I went & bought shoes that are too big.
For a second I thought he was the "devil"
Maybe it is not that funny but it really happened to me.

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sbtheplumber1 | @sbtheplumber1 | Sep 23 5:31pm

Without getting me out of the wheelchair to check me after a back fusion told him I could rub my tailbone and get testicle pain ( that wasn’t there before the surgery) he says you don’t have that ! I regret now not standing up and giving him a kick and let him feel the pain that I’ve now dealt with for about 2-1/2 years

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premi | @premi | Sep 28 1:01pm
In reply to @mikaylar "This was said to my friend, but I thought it was worth passing along. She is..." + (show)
Profile picture for mikayla @mikaylar

This was said to my friend, but I thought it was worth passing along. She is 79, went for her wellness check. Her doctor listened to her heard and said, "I think you are pregnant!" She said, "Well, then you are the father."

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@mikaylar The best reply I have ever heard,that to an one liner

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premi | @premi | Sep 28 1:10pm
In reply to @bunstuffer "Back when I was in the army, you had to maintain a certain weight range (this..." + (show)
Profile picture for bunstuffer @bunstuffer

Back when I was in the army, you had to maintain a certain weight range (this is a peace time rule). I was always just on the cusp of being overweight which would put you on the "fat boy (girl) program". You were then ineligible for any positive personnel actions like school or promotion. At 5'1" I could weigh a maximum of something like 137 pounds. I weighed in at 138 so I had to be counseled by the staff surgeon. He talked to me about diet and exercise but then got out a tape measure and measured my head to hips and several other measurements including the length of my legs. Then the doctor (Colonel) said "You're not overweight, you're just too short". Apparently based on the length of my torso, my legs should be longer. I thought that was a a great way to justify my weight.

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@bunstuffer I am shorter than you,wish someone would tell me that and cheer me up

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