@marieheld65
Marie
Let me first wish you a happy birthday and happy anniversary! It is so difficult to lose the active life we once had. I used to feel guilty about the limited things I could do. Like you I heard the ‘shoe on the other foot’ theory. As time passed I felt more depressed. Then my sweet husband said to me that he was grateful for the days I could do something fun outside the home. I realized I wasn’t feeling as much guilt as I was loss of what I had, who I was. I mourned the loss and began self- affirmations at the end of each day and soon began to feel better.
Phrases such as:
• Yay! You took a shower today!
• I’m proud of you for getting dressed/making dinner
• I walked the dog to the corner!
It was around that time I was introduced to the Spoon Theory. Simply put, we start each day with a number of “Spoons”. We use the spoons for everything we do. For those of us who are limited, not by our mind but by our bodies, use ‘spoons’ at a faster rate and run out. Here is a link to The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino
https://butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/
One of the things I love about our community on Connect is the cyber friendships we develop. I’ll bet you don’t give yourself credit for what you contribute to these boards. Each of us is learning by sharing. While it may not be face to face contact that you are used to by going to the pool, dancing, or aerobics I think it is better than walling yourself off from the outside. Is there a local library or daycare where you could go and read to children? Or maybe a Veterans home to go to visit those who have no one?

Jen

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Marie, CONGRATULATIONS on your birthday AND on your anniversary! If you can, please try to lose the guilt. It is a soul-eater and a soul-destroyer. It does nothing good for you–or for your husband. Have you tried therapy for the guilt? I hope you have or that you do. I think we ALL have something(s) that we feel guilty about, and it’s SUCH a wasted emotion. It just eats you alive. As you say, your husband has been so supportive. And as you say, you’d do the same for him if the situation were reversed.

Are there any other hobbies you can get involved with, other than dancing and aerobics? Do you paint or draw or sculpt or knit or crochet or do other needlework? Have you tried kumihimo (sp?), an astounding kind of beautiful braiding? Look into the art classes available at your local art museum (if you have one) or at your local senior center. (I’ve taught knitting at our local senior center, and my students ranged in age from 11 up to about 90. So, no, not only “old folks” go to the senior center. I tried out tai chi at my senior center. I was one of the youngest people in the class, and everybody else was astounding at it–except me.) There’s also chair yoga, which is very gentle yoga, and you might be able to do that. It does wonders for limbering you up. Is there a musical instrument you’ve always had a hankering to play? I’ll bet there are group lessons available. Anyway, PLEASE explore some creative outlets. You may think you have no talent, but, yes, YOU DO. We all do!

Please do get help about the guilt, if you don’t already. It’s taking up too much real estate in your brain, and it needs to be evicted.

Hugs to you,
Hazel

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Marie, CONGRATULATIONS on your birthday AND on your anniversary! If you can, please try to lose the guilt. It is a soul-eater and a soul-destroyer. It does nothing good for you–or for your husband. Have you tried therapy for the guilt? I hope you have or that you do. I think we ALL have something(s) that we feel guilty about, and it’s SUCH a wasted emotion. It just eats you alive. As you say, your husband has been so supportive. And as you say, you’d do the same for him if the situation were reversed.

Are there any other hobbies you can get involved with, other than dancing and aerobics? Do you paint or draw or sculpt or knit or crochet or do other needlework? Have you tried kumihimo (sp?), an astounding kind of beautiful braiding? Look into the art classes available at your local art museum (if you have one) or at your local senior center. (I’ve taught knitting at our local senior center, and my students ranged in age from 11 up to about 90. So, no, not only “old folks” go to the senior center. I tried out tai chi at my senior center. I was one of the youngest people in the class, and everybody else was astounding at it–except me.) There’s also chair yoga, which is very gentle yoga, and you might be able to do that. It does wonders for limbering you up. Is there a musical instrument you’ve always had a hankering to play? I’ll bet there are group lessons available. Anyway, PLEASE explore some creative outlets. You may think you have no talent, but, yes, YOU DO. We all do!

Please do get help about the guilt, if you don’t already. It’s taking up too much real estate in your brain, and it needs to be evicted.

Hugs to you,
Hazel

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Sauvee, I’m so glad to hear about this. My primary care has recommended that I go to a woman in her office. The woman is an RN, a physical therapist, and a licensed massage therapist. She does cupping, as well as quite a number of other things, based on what one’s condition is. My primary care said that this isn’t like regular physical therapy. I won’t have to keep on going back and back and back. One or two visits should suffice.

I had been pretty much pain free for two weeks (yay!), but the TMJ pain started up again yesterday. First it was just a little bit, and I ignored it. I’ve had some breakthrough pain during the pain-free times, and it’s gone away. But it continued, and I reluctantly took half of a tylenol + codeine tablet; the ones I have are 5 mg. That helped, and at least I didn’t wake up in the night in agony, which has happened way too often. But as soon as I eat breakfast, I’ll be downing another half tablet. The pain has moved from my jaw to my ear, and that pain is probably the worst, at least for me.

I was so (over-optimistically) hoping that, after two weeks or so without (much) pain, the TMJ pain would go away completely. Hah! It’s interesting: you’d think that the pain would kick in when I’m stressed. I’ve had a VERY stressful two weeks, and little pain. As soon as the stress lifts, then the pain zings in. This has happened a number of other times. I don’t know why this is, but perhaps you folks can tell me.

Anyway, off to send email to my primary care’s wonderful receptionist and make an appointment with the RN/LPT/LMT. So glad you got relief from the cupping!

Hazel

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Sauvee, I’m so glad to hear about this. My primary care has recommended that I go to a woman in her office. The woman is an RN, a physical therapist, and a licensed massage therapist. She does cupping, as well as quite a number of other things, based on what one’s condition is. My primary care said that this isn’t like regular physical therapy. I won’t have to keep on going back and back and back. One or two visits should suffice.

I had been pretty much pain free for two weeks (yay!), but the TMJ pain started up again yesterday. First it was just a little bit, and I ignored it. I’ve had some breakthrough pain during the pain-free times, and it’s gone away. But it continued, and I reluctantly took half of a tylenol + codeine tablet; the ones I have are 5 mg. That helped, and at least I didn’t wake up in the night in agony, which has happened way too often. But as soon as I eat breakfast, I’ll be downing another half tablet. The pain has moved from my jaw to my ear, and that pain is probably the worst, at least for me.

I was so (over-optimistically) hoping that, after two weeks or so without (much) pain, the TMJ pain would go away completely. Hah! It’s interesting: you’d think that the pain would kick in when I’m stressed. I’ve had a VERY stressful two weeks, and little pain. As soon as the stress lifts, then the pain zings in. This has happened a number of other times. I don’t know why this is, but perhaps you folks can tell me.

Anyway, off to send email to my primary care’s wonderful receptionist and make an appointment with the RN/LPT/LMT. So glad you got relief from the cupping!

Hazel

Jump to this post

Sauvee, I’m so glad to hear about this. My primary care has recommended that I go to a woman in her office. The woman is an RN, a physical therapist, and a licensed massage therapist. She does cupping, as well as quite a number of other things, based on what one’s condition is. My primary care said that this isn’t like regular physical therapy. I won’t have to keep on going back and back and back. One or two visits should suffice.

I had been pretty much pain free for two weeks (yay!), but the TMJ pain started up again yesterday. First it was just a little bit, and I ignored it. I’ve had some breakthrough pain during the pain-free times, and it’s gone away. But it continued, and I reluctantly took half of a tylenol + codeine tablet; the ones I have are 5 mg. That helped, and at least I didn’t wake up in the night in agony, which has happened way too often. But as soon as I eat breakfast, I’ll be downing another half tablet. The pain has moved from my jaw to my ear, and that pain is probably the worst, at least for me.

I was so (over-optimistically) hoping that, after two weeks or so without (much) pain, the TMJ pain would go away completely. Hah! It’s interesting: you’d think that the pain would kick in when I’m stressed. I’ve had a VERY stressful two weeks, and little pain. As soon as the stress lifts, then the pain zings in. This has happened a number of other times. I don’t know why this is, but perhaps you folks can tell me.

Anyway, off to send email to my primary care’s wonderful receptionist and make an appointment with the RN/LPT/LMT. So glad you got relief from the cupping!

Hazel

Jump to this post

Sauvee, yes, I am an obsessed knitter! Learned to knit when I was a little kid and found it the most boring thing ever. When I lived in Germany, though, everyone was knitting, and I took it up again. And haven’t stopped since. I make up my own designs or borrow bits and pieces from patterns. Sometimes I do follow patterns, but not often.

Being a newbie is good. It’s exciting. It’s fun. And it’ll become so soothing and such a way of life. And you will develop a Stash Beyond Life Expectancy, if you haven’t already. 😉

SO glad you’re going to go away nutless!!!!

I, alas, know nothing about Brazil. Except that Portuguese sounds amazing to me! A friend has lived all over South America. Let me send her a note and ask her if she’s lived in Brazil, and how she liked it if she did.

Hazel

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Sauvee, yes, I am an obsessed knitter! Learned to knit when I was a little kid and found it the most boring thing ever. When I lived in Germany, though, everyone was knitting, and I took it up again. And haven’t stopped since. I make up my own designs or borrow bits and pieces from patterns. Sometimes I do follow patterns, but not often.

Being a newbie is good. It’s exciting. It’s fun. And it’ll become so soothing and such a way of life. And you will develop a Stash Beyond Life Expectancy, if you haven’t already. 😉

SO glad you’re going to go away nutless!!!!

I, alas, know nothing about Brazil. Except that Portuguese sounds amazing to me! A friend has lived all over South America. Let me send her a note and ask her if she’s lived in Brazil, and how she liked it if she did.

Hazel

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