What are your tips for staying independent at your own home?

@sueinmn, @thisismarilynb , @brandysparks, and all...My goodness! Such excellent suggestions. Many of you have already addressed this issue. It's fun reading your life solutions!

I'll add a couple I've made to adjust my life to what life has thrown at me...adjusted with acceptance that I must deal with what I've been given, not chosen for the life I wanted and expected! This is the major step I took to have a good, happy workable living situation...

First, my 57 year old son moved into his Florida home across the street from me 20+ years ago. I intended to move into a retirement community I chose, to live in a nice small apartment with new friends in all stages of aging. With good food available, activities, health care, emergency care, etc.

I have multiple health issues 🙃 all overseen by my Mayo doctors. I'm better today than in decades, more active and my body is fragile but much improved. My son is disabled and I realized moving is not one of my choices. So, after a hospital stay at Mayo, I made the decision thrust on me, to make my 2 story condo work FOR me the rest of my life!

My full baths are upstairs. No BR downstairs either. To make my dining room work as a BR, I could easily add a wall and expand the half bath adding a shower. I want in a position to do that construction as my body couldn't handle hiring, planning, overseeing, the job was too big! So...I moved upstairs.

I have 3 bedrooms...love mine and added a recliner, plants I rescued from the garden shop, a larger TV. I had the master bath tub removed and made a safe, walk-in shower with a seat and grab bars.
The smallest BR is now my new little 'kitchenette', with a small fridge with small freezer, a microwave, pink Keurig single cup coffee maker, an old desk I use as counter space. I turned the closet, with doors off, into my pantry and storage for paper products, food stuff, drinks. etc. I have 3 floating shelves I'm hanging to house my NEW, funky dishes! I bought on Black Friday Sale a perfect set ot 4 salad plates, use them as dinner plates for portion control, cups, small glasses, bowls, flatware...I'm have a huge estate sale in A couple of weeks selling everything I don't want, don't use, my son doesn't want, and preselling artwork, sterling, pricey things! YEA!!!!

This is huge for me to accomplish this event and to set up my upstairs for living. I visit downstairs and love it still, but my life is now ipstsirs, living in 800 Sq. ft. Rather than 1900 Sq. Ft. It's lovely. Easy and pleasant. A great life! Easy. No falling. If I'm not well, I can stay safe and recoup in comfort. As I'm doing now, with love ferritin awaiting iv iron infusions next week, recouperating the last several months from my 1st Covid, bronchitis, 2 procedures that really were difficult, lowering Ferritin, low B12, intestinal issues and more. What a wonderful way to get better, to take good care of myself. No stairs to navigate more than I must. Usually, no more than 1x daily, if required.

So. There you go. Thats my aging story. My home adjusted for aging in place. Leaving when God calls me home...
May you find some good things to apply to your lives!

I'm adding some pictures out my upstairs BR window...I have my own private tree loft, in the arms of my live oak tree about the window. I keep my drapes open and welcome God gift of each new day as it sits through my tree's arms. A lovely way to wake each day!

Blessing, Elizabeth

I actually visited two of these facilities to see for myself. The living quarters themselves are small. There is no getting around that. Of course they don't want you to spend much time there. There were a lot of old people milling around and many in wheel chairs. Of course I should not talk about old people as I am 89 years old myself. They were all being escorted into a large room to play bingo. The rent is not cheap and it goes up every year. Needless to say I was not impressed. So far I am doing okay. I even hosted a very small Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. My plan is to have help in my own home if and when I get to the point of needing some assistance.

I agree and appreciate your thoughts. I did the same when my husband was in s rehabilitation center attached to retirement home.
I noticed that they take over one’s healthcare. The physical therapy staff was aloof and never listened. The food was bad. My husband had 2 strokes. The speech therapist feed him the wrong food which caused pulmonary pneumonia. He had to be hospitalized.
I bought a condo, hired out patient HH and took care of him for 10 years.
I don’t like rest homes as the ones I saw were sun-par.
I have a LT care plan and will file probably within a short time.
I would advise one to seek another solution unless they find a reasonably good place. One has to look into it carefully before committing the remainder of one’s life.
Stay home if possible and have out patient care if needed. Marilyn, you have the right idea. Good luck to you and others in the same boat.

I read your post with great interest. Many of your complaints were the same as mine. I firmly believe that neglect and bad care contributed to my husband's death when he was in one of those facilities. Then after his death, I had my hip replacement and had to be in one and experienced the horrors. The bottom line is that they are not really in business to help sick people. They are in business to make money and cheat Medicare.

Marilyn, I so understand and agree with you. So sorry about your husband. I believe many have experienced the “horrors” from facilities, hospitals and or home care.

Your letter needs to be read by anyone considered a rest home. I don’t want to be negative, but here are a few more “horrors” I experienced from my husband being in rehab/rest home and hiring the wrong people as caregivers (CG).
1) found CG in room with my husband asleep giving herself a pedicure with her feet soaking in his bed bath
tubs.
2) CG meeting maintenance man in next door room.
3) Doctor never visible
4) Nurses meeting at their desks while patients waiting
5) Husband’s clothes sent to laundry but never returned. They were “lost.”
6) CG makes mistakes on prescriptions.
7) Speech therapist feeds husband wrong food he could not swallow. Later he was hospitalized for pulmonary pneumonia. Fox went to lungs. It took 16 people to revive him in ER.
8) CG sleeping in room.
9) CG smoking in restroom.
10) CG asked us for a “loan.”
These are only s few …

Wow. You all have such great suggestions on avoiding the rest home and remaining an independent. I love the idea of getting a “fall device.”

I am sitting and preparing for my appointment with my internist/cardiologist
doctor here at Mayo. Something else came to my mind. Pardon my frankness.

To remain independent, we must think independent. That is, there is a three way struggle between us, our bodies and the doctors. I am learning also to seek a second or even and third opinion. In other words, don’t settle for less.
I went to four doctors, (three were specialists) and one thoracic surgeon. One told me that it is my “age.” Another told me that I should consider a retirement center or a care center. I choose to seek what is right for me. An opinion always about my age is not what I will seek.
So we must be independent, think independently and enjoy living independently. Onward.

Marilyn, I so understand and agree with you. So sorry about your husband. I believe many have experienced the “horrors” from facilities, hospitals and or home care.

Your letter needs to be read by anyone considered a rest home. I don’t want to be negative, but here are a few more “horrors” I experienced from my husband being in rehab/rest home and hiring the wrong people as caregivers (CG).
1) found CG in room with my husband asleep giving herself a pedicure with her feet soaking in his bed bath
tubs.
2) CG meeting maintenance man in next door room.
3) Doctor never visible
4) Nurses meeting at their desks while patients waiting
5) Husband’s clothes sent to laundry but never returned. They were “lost.”
6) CG makes mistakes on prescriptions.
7) Speech therapist feeds husband wrong food he could not swallow. Later he was hospitalized for pulmonary pneumonia. Fox went to lungs. It took 16 people to revive him in ER.
8) CG sleeping in room.
9) CG smoking in restroom.
10) CG asked us for a “loan.”
These are only s few …