What are your tips for staying independent at your own home?

Many people say they’d prefer to grow old in their own homes. What are your tips for remaining independent as long as possible. What do you do to:
- Keep up with home maintenance and housekeeping?
- Avoid injuries around the house?
- Combat loneliness or stay connected?

Any other tips?

October 25, 2023: Update from the Community Director

The knowledge exchange shared in this discussion helped to create this article written for the Mayo Clinic app and website. Knowledge for patients by patients and beyond Mayo Clinic Connect. Thank you for all your tips.

Aging at home: Advice for staying independent

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

My home is on one floor and I thank God the previous owner spoke of how much I would appreciate that fact as I aged It seemed unimportant at age 40 but wow now I can really understand I am 83 and stairs present a problem at times

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@donnaram15

My home is on one floor and I thank God the previous owner spoke of how much I would appreciate that fact as I aged It seemed unimportant at age 40 but wow now I can really understand I am 83 and stairs present a problem at times

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We have pondered this question for 2 years. We love our smallish home, the location within 10 minutes of our kids , love our neighbors and everything we need including excellent medical care is within 10 miles.
But it is a split entry 7 stairs to main level, 7 to lower level and quite a large yard and gardens.
So we looked townhouses and concluded we are better off here. One story units near us are rare, either costly or quite old, and HOA fees add up to several thousand per year. We decided that we can add stair lifts if we need and hire out the yard and garden for a lot less than it will cost to move.
Making the decision was a relief - now we can do the little things to keep our home safe, comfortable and up-to-date. And work on simplifying gardens.
Sue

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Hello Sue I have many friends who installed chair lifts They are very happy with them When the time come they would probably be great help Your home sounds lovely and staying to enjoy it sounds like a wonderful plan

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Sounds like you made a smart decision. I went from stairs to an apartment and never regretted it.

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Have a ten year life plan!
Make sure you live intentionally; know what means the most to you; don't be afraid to reach high.
Knowing what you value most will help you make good decisions when you decide what to keep, what to let go, where to live, etc.
Do your best to shape your life for your most-loved purposes.

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I actually visited two of these facilities to see for myself. The living quarters themselves are small. There is no getting around that. Of course they don't want you to spend much time there. There were a lot of old people milling around and many in wheel chairs. Of course I should not talk about old people as I am 89 years old myself. They were all being escorted into a large room to play bingo. The rent is not cheap and it goes up every year. Needless to say I was not impressed. So far I am doing okay. I even hosted a very small Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. My plan is to have help in my own home if and when I get to the point of needing some assistance.

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@thisismarilynb

I actually visited two of these facilities to see for myself. The living quarters themselves are small. There is no getting around that. Of course they don't want you to spend much time there. There were a lot of old people milling around and many in wheel chairs. Of course I should not talk about old people as I am 89 years old myself. They were all being escorted into a large room to play bingo. The rent is not cheap and it goes up every year. Needless to say I was not impressed. So far I am doing okay. I even hosted a very small Thanksgiving dinner yesterday. My plan is to have help in my own home if and when I get to the point of needing some assistance.

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Marilyn - We have tentatively made the same decision, to stay in our home and adapt, although none of us knows what the future holds. We also have an option of an auxiliary dwelling unit at either of our daughter's homes - their lots are large and our local codes allow this. We feel it may be an option down the road when one of us is alone...

The size aspect is not an issue for us - we live 1/2 the year in 400sf plus an 8X10 shed and another 2 months or so in a 7x17 foot camper. We have been rigorously "downsizing" our possessions in our "big" home - 1200sf with the store room. My goal be the end of 2024 is to remove some of the storage shelves and cabinets we have added over the years - I already have empty shelves in several places.

We are now in our winter home, with neighbors from their 40's to near 90, all away from family in our own smaller dwellings (from travel trailers to mobile homes. We all watch over one another, stepping up as needed when crises arise.

The very fun thing is the community gathering spaces - no pressure, come when you like. Three mornings a week we do senior-adapted yoga - great way to start the day. We also have 2-3 communal meals each week - again, no pressure. Also lots of games, outings, etc - I am working on my watercolor skills with our fabulous resident artist and a group of friends.

So I live in 2 worlds - I love the Texas weather, but miss my family and friends when away from my "roots" in Minnesota. We will do this as long as life allows - our girls have even made plans to drive us down and back when the time comes (we did the same for my Mom in her later years)

The other "plan" is our safety plan - no more climbing on chairs or beds - only stable step stools with a proper hand hold. A spotter every time one of uses a step ladder - anything that requires more climbing is done by someone else. Sturdy safety rails on all steps and in both bathrooms. Keeping clutter away from all walking areas, off all stairs, no slippery rugs, smooth hardwood or tile floors. And ongoing strength and balance training exercises.

Sue

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@sueinmn

Marilyn - We have tentatively made the same decision, to stay in our home and adapt, although none of us knows what the future holds. We also have an option of an auxiliary dwelling unit at either of our daughter's homes - their lots are large and our local codes allow this. We feel it may be an option down the road when one of us is alone...

The size aspect is not an issue for us - we live 1/2 the year in 400sf plus an 8X10 shed and another 2 months or so in a 7x17 foot camper. We have been rigorously "downsizing" our possessions in our "big" home - 1200sf with the store room. My goal be the end of 2024 is to remove some of the storage shelves and cabinets we have added over the years - I already have empty shelves in several places.

We are now in our winter home, with neighbors from their 40's to near 90, all away from family in our own smaller dwellings (from travel trailers to mobile homes. We all watch over one another, stepping up as needed when crises arise.

The very fun thing is the community gathering spaces - no pressure, come when you like. Three mornings a week we do senior-adapted yoga - great way to start the day. We also have 2-3 communal meals each week - again, no pressure. Also lots of games, outings, etc - I am working on my watercolor skills with our fabulous resident artist and a group of friends.

So I live in 2 worlds - I love the Texas weather, but miss my family and friends when away from my "roots" in Minnesota. We will do this as long as life allows - our girls have even made plans to drive us down and back when the time comes (we did the same for my Mom in her later years)

The other "plan" is our safety plan - no more climbing on chairs or beds - only stable step stools with a proper hand hold. A spotter every time one of uses a step ladder - anything that requires more climbing is done by someone else. Sturdy safety rails on all steps and in both bathrooms. Keeping clutter away from all walking areas, off all stairs, no slippery rugs, smooth hardwood or tile floors. And ongoing strength and balance training exercises.

Sue

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This is really helpful, and I like the realism of it, without any sense of "giving in"...what you've described exudes a genuine feeling of caring for oneself, knowing the realities, yet enjoying life.

I'm wondering if you could elaborate on how the "communal" arrangement came about - was it intentional, did it just evolve over several visits, or was there a plan?

I can share more after learning a bit more about your lovely lifestyle - Thanks!

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@sueinmn

Marilyn - We have tentatively made the same decision, to stay in our home and adapt, although none of us knows what the future holds. We also have an option of an auxiliary dwelling unit at either of our daughter's homes - their lots are large and our local codes allow this. We feel it may be an option down the road when one of us is alone...

The size aspect is not an issue for us - we live 1/2 the year in 400sf plus an 8X10 shed and another 2 months or so in a 7x17 foot camper. We have been rigorously "downsizing" our possessions in our "big" home - 1200sf with the store room. My goal be the end of 2024 is to remove some of the storage shelves and cabinets we have added over the years - I already have empty shelves in several places.

We are now in our winter home, with neighbors from their 40's to near 90, all away from family in our own smaller dwellings (from travel trailers to mobile homes. We all watch over one another, stepping up as needed when crises arise.

The very fun thing is the community gathering spaces - no pressure, come when you like. Three mornings a week we do senior-adapted yoga - great way to start the day. We also have 2-3 communal meals each week - again, no pressure. Also lots of games, outings, etc - I am working on my watercolor skills with our fabulous resident artist and a group of friends.

So I live in 2 worlds - I love the Texas weather, but miss my family and friends when away from my "roots" in Minnesota. We will do this as long as life allows - our girls have even made plans to drive us down and back when the time comes (we did the same for my Mom in her later years)

The other "plan" is our safety plan - no more climbing on chairs or beds - only stable step stools with a proper hand hold. A spotter every time one of uses a step ladder - anything that requires more climbing is done by someone else. Sturdy safety rails on all steps and in both bathrooms. Keeping clutter away from all walking areas, off all stairs, no slippery rugs, smooth hardwood or tile floors. And ongoing strength and balance training exercises.

Sue

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I also have many of the safety things you mentioned, such as safety bars in both bathrooms, plus in my en suite bathroom, in the separate toilet room. No throw rugs, etc. My house is medium, 1560 sq. ft. My husband and I bought it together. Now he is gone, but I am not. I have a very nice handy man who will come when he is not busy, and slowly we are getting the garage cleaned out. I plan on living here forever. As I said earlier, I am already 89 but in relatively good health. So who knows? Shall I visit the lady with the crystal ball? Another one of my safety measures is checking in each day with two people via computer. This is important when you are living alone. Last year a woman who lived down the street was dead for several days before anyone thought that they hadn't seen or heard from her for a while and called the police for a health check. This really gave me a jolt because it had not occurred to me before. So I remedied that. There is only so much that one can do.

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@thisismarilynb

I also have many of the safety things you mentioned, such as safety bars in both bathrooms, plus in my en suite bathroom, in the separate toilet room. No throw rugs, etc. My house is medium, 1560 sq. ft. My husband and I bought it together. Now he is gone, but I am not. I have a very nice handy man who will come when he is not busy, and slowly we are getting the garage cleaned out. I plan on living here forever. As I said earlier, I am already 89 but in relatively good health. So who knows? Shall I visit the lady with the crystal ball? Another one of my safety measures is checking in each day with two people via computer. This is important when you are living alone. Last year a woman who lived down the street was dead for several days before anyone thought that they hadn't seen or heard from her for a while and called the police for a health check. This really gave me a jolt because it had not occurred to me before. So I remedied that. There is only so much that one can do.

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@sueinmn, @thisismarilynb , @brandysparks, and all...My goodness! Such excellent suggestions. Many of you have already addressed this issue. It's fun reading your life solutions!

I'll add a couple I've made to adjust my life to what life has thrown at me...adjusted with acceptance that I must deal with what I've been given, not chosen for the life I wanted and expected! This is the major step I took to have a good, happy workable living situation...

First, my 57 year old son moved into his Florida home across the street from me 20+ years ago. I intended to move into a retirement community I chose, to live in a nice small apartment with new friends in all stages of aging. With good food available, activities, health care, emergency care, etc.

I have multiple health issues 🙃 all overseen by my Mayo doctors. I'm better today than in decades, more active and my body is fragile but much improved. My son is disabled and I realized moving is not one of my choices. So, after a hospital stay at Mayo, I made the decision thrust on me, to make my 2 story condo work FOR me the rest of my life!

My full baths are upstairs. No BR downstairs either. To make my dining room work as a BR, I could easily add a wall and expand the half bath adding a shower. I want in a position to do that construction as my body couldn't handle hiring, planning, overseeing, the job was too big! So...I moved upstairs.

I have 3 bedrooms...love mine and added a recliner, plants I rescued from the garden shop, a larger TV. I had the master bath tub removed and made a safe, walk-in shower with a seat and grab bars.
The smallest BR is now my new little 'kitchenette', with a small fridge with small freezer, a microwave, pink Keurig single cup coffee maker, an old desk I use as counter space. I turned the closet, with doors off, into my pantry and storage for paper products, food stuff, drinks. etc. I have 3 floating shelves I'm hanging to house my NEW, funky dishes! I bought on Black Friday Sale a perfect set ot 4 salad plates, use them as dinner plates for portion control, cups, small glasses, bowls, flatware...I'm have a huge estate sale in A couple of weeks selling everything I don't want, don't use, my son doesn't want, and preselling artwork, sterling, pricey things! YEA!!!!

This is huge for me to accomplish this event and to set up my upstairs for living. I visit downstairs and love it still, but my life is now ipstsirs, living in 800 Sq. ft. Rather than 1900 Sq. Ft. It's lovely. Easy and pleasant. A great life! Easy. No falling. If I'm not well, I can stay safe and recoup in comfort. As I'm doing now, with love ferritin awaiting iv iron infusions next week, recouperating the last several months from my 1st Covid, bronchitis, 2 procedures that really were difficult, lowering Ferritin, low B12, intestinal issues and more. What a wonderful way to get better, to take good care of myself. No stairs to navigate more than I must. Usually, no more than 1x daily, if required.

So. There you go. Thats my aging story. My home adjusted for aging in place. Leaving when God calls me home...
May you find some good things to apply to your lives!

I'm adding some pictures out my upstairs BR window...I have my own private tree loft, in the arms of my live oak tree about the window. I keep my drapes open and welcome God gift of each new day as it sits through my tree's arms. A lovely way to wake each day!

Blessing, Elizabeth

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