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What about Me?
I am so tired, tired of dealing with all the groaning, moaning all day, every day even through meals which is making me not want to prepare meals or eat with H.
I understand he is scared as he has some understanding of what is happening to him mentally, but geez, it is not my fault. He gets mean and yells at me, publicly, like I am a child!
Friends are kind, but as others have said, we - him - are just not fun any more. I know some are afraid this will eventually happen to them. People we really don't know have tried to take advantage of him.
Heck, his middle daughter tried to get him to change his will to her favor when he was in the hospital last year. This daughter he really hasn't seen in almost a year, no birthday card or Father's Day card to him.
I understand the Calvery is not coming, but darn, it sure is difficult as more and more things go on. I am feeling very lonely.
Keeping up the house is difficult. We are just $300 a month from being eligible for various assistant programs.
The above-mentioned daughter has now started lying about me to her sister and brother. I have always had a good relationship with his eldest daughter since her and her father reconciled (over her changing religion before I met her, which no one in the family understood). The last few times I have talked to her she has been frigid at best. Seems the middle daughter is putting things out there that I am stealing their inheritance among other things.
This just floors me. I have had enough and don't need this with his family on top of everything going on with him daily. The door is starting to look pretty good right now and I can guarantee you that none of his adult children will help him out. None of them has done anything for us in the, oh, last 31 years, whether we needed help or not. His son has hit us up for $$ over the years, and the middle daughter's sons always have their hands out.
The truth be told, when I married their father some 31 years ago, he had a decent job but really had nothing. I had a house that was over 50% paid for, a paid off car, furniture. At that time he had just finished paying child support for his youngest son, who came to live with him after the child support stopped.
These people are starting to scare me. Right now I know what his will says, but I am afraid that if he gets enough pressure, he will cave to them.
This is part of me dealing with being his caretaker. It scares the begesus out of me. I did talk to a lawyer but I can only do things with items that are mine. It is not like we have a lot, just the house, the 8 yr. old car, and my furniture with a few pieces added.
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@kartwk
Apple Watch has a fall prevention feature. fall prevention is primarily achieved through its Fall Detection feature, the watch will alert you with a tap on the wrist and an alarm, then wait for you to respond. If you are immobile for about a minute, it will automatically call emergency services and notify your emergency contacts with your location. I have used it when I fell when walking the dog. Excellent.
@deniae
Yes I retired at 62 thinking my husband and I would be traveling. No such luck. I feel resentful, overwhelmed and exhausted every day. I started having panic attacks last year. Thankfully I am able to control it pretty much with medication and deep breathing/meditation exercises. His two children are no help and friends have slowly drifted away.
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2 ReactionsThank you. I just feel very alone as he is all I have and our dog. I have so many fears that it is difficult to leave the house but I M FORCED TO DRIVE HIM , My brother cant stand me because of all my fears but the professionals arent helping me enough and these medicines. I wish I could feel stronger but three years and no break and constant treatment make me so depressed an truthfully, kind of agitated for the people that are going along with np issues with their spouse
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2 Reactions@innesha isnt that always the way that people who are going through good times dont want to deal with calling and asking questions, to those that arent .There are always excuses like we didnt know when would be a good time. That is why people can leave messages but hey, their excuse is better I guess
The panic attacks are off the chart. I am sure they will give you klonopin. They have me on a bunch of stuff but it is not working.
@kartwk
I just keep praying for stability and yes to everything being a caregiver implies
@innesha
I reread this because i notice i missed the medication part and the deep breathing
@suppiskey2surv
she doesnt want me to do something to take my own life from severe depression because she knows he is all I have. Sadly. my life centered around him and I became very dependent for allot of things even though I also have taken care of him
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1 Reaction@deniae I know what you mean. I have a dog also. Husband can’t walk him. I do not like to drive, in fact I’m not a very good driver. My husband was the one who did all the driving. Last year I had horrible vertigo attacks for almost nine months. My balance is still not 100% even after physical therapy. My husband said I drive like an old lady! I told him I was an old lady and he could call an uber! Someone sent me this quote from Elizabeth Taylor: You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot before the other and god damn it you refuse to let it get to you. You fight. You cry. Then you go about the business of living. That’s how it’s done. There is no other way.
@deniae
Feel so bad for you, lost in such a lonely place. But I think you are definitely reaching out. Sounds like it anyway. Private message me if you ever want to talk. What a heavy burden you are carrying. But keep reaching out to folks. I think this site can be a huge help and a definite step in the right direction.
Thinkg of you and wishing you find joy and hope to bring you peace . . . Soon! 💞
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1 Reaction@innesha
I was wondering from your post what happened t your husbands ability to drive.? I like the Elizabeth Taylor quote. I haven't walked my dog in a bit but she has a fence in yard. I am having trouble getting showered and dressed from the depression. I HAVE TO FIGHT myself to do it which sounds pathetic because it should be a simple thing to do,