To move near family or stay put

@mjk216 we recently moved closer to our kids and grandkids but still 1 1/2 hours away so we give them space to live their lives and we are close to excellent medical care. A win win. We are seeing them more than before.
As for living close to siblings that would also be a great option if you all get along fine. My sisters and I have always said we would move close together if our spouses died but realistically not sure that would happen. Can’t see it happening when our spouses are still with us. We range in age from 71-66.

All I can this is not easy. My daughter two young grandchildren and sil live close by. I moved here when my husband walked out. Almost five years later I want to move. This is in the midst of a huge city and I miss my garden. I am
Thinking of moving though I’d be alone. I’m looking at places with good hospitals and senior citizens who are active so I can make connections. I just haven’t here as my ex kept telling me we’d reunite and kept coming to visit. Until he didn’t. My kids are very busy. I see them usually at least once a week. Yes some of it’s babysitting but the grands do love to come over. It’s hard to predict the future. Soon they’ll be in high school and beyond. I want a nicer climate and a to be outdoors more. I have to make a choice when my lease is out in one year.

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@mjk216 we recently moved closer to our kids and grandkids but still 1 1/2 hours away so we give them space to live their lives and we are close to excellent medical care. A win win. We are seeing them more than before.
As for living close to siblings that would also be a great option if you all get along fine. My sisters and I have always said we would move close together if our spouses died but realistically not sure that would happen. Can’t see it happening when our spouses are still with us. We range in age from 71-66.

@reneerogahnthanig wow, I saw this post and thought, this is my life with a few twists. We moved to be closer to family, (daughter and granddaughter) in 2020 during the height of the pandemic, I think that was my. husband's big push to get closer, I always second guess. I was hesitant because we are retired military, had an established community, activities, homes, great medical, friends etc in the area we were leaving so I wasn't onboard at first, saying ""we're aging, they can move back home", yeah thats a great idea. Well, we sold the house, leased an apartment in two locations to go back and forth to keep some semblance of who we were. It worked for a while, then the market turned and it became a conversation about purchasing a home. In 2020, we purchased a home about 20-25 minutes from our daughter/granddaughter, which was good. Then life changed suddenly in late 2020, my husband was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, life became a whirlwind and he was gone in January 2021. So here I am now in a place where I have no future with the love of my life, grieving and wanting to move again but didn't want to leave my daughter and granddaughter who also didn't want to move. Making friends in your 60's is hard and extremely challenging. You have lived your life with so many ups and downs that its truly hard to trust, so you have a few acquaintances because the people you called your true friends are in another location. It sounds good to hear, we'll get together soon, but it gets harder and harder as you age. My daughter and granddaughter have their lives, so I see them once a week maybe, yes we FaceTime everyday but it's not the same. I'd love to live with my daughter and granddaughter but realize they need their space as well. So here I am now at 67, living alone in a place where I can't really find myself and sometimes it gets so overwhelming, So its challenging as you age to make a move, its more emotionally taxing to me than physically. If you have a supportive partner alongside you, you can do it, I know we could have had a great future here if given a chance. I'm making the most of being here, trying not to complain because so many others are in worst predicaments and thanking God everyday that I wake up and can just still be near family.

@regenia77 yes very true it is hard to make new friends as you age. I can see you believe in God so have you found a church that you like or maybe you can join a Bible Study Fellowship in person group if there is one in your area. That is what I did when we moved to the Milwaukee area to take care of my Mom. Unfortunately the one where I live now is no longer in existence and I personally don’t like online as I find it not as personal and to many distractions. We have found a church and are just starting to get more involved .
I pray that you will find a friend to help with the loneliness. Glad that you at least get a physical visit once a week with your daughter and granddaughter.

@reneerogahnthanig wow, I saw this post and thought, this is my life with a few twists. We moved to be closer to family, (daughter and granddaughter) in 2020 during the height of the pandemic, I think that was my. husband's big push to get closer, I always second guess. I was hesitant because we are retired military, had an established community, activities, homes, great medical, friends etc in the area we were leaving so I wasn't onboard at first, saying ""we're aging, they can move back home", yeah thats a great idea. Well, we sold the house, leased an apartment in two locations to go back and forth to keep some semblance of who we were. It worked for a while, then the market turned and it became a conversation about purchasing a home. In 2020, we purchased a home about 20-25 minutes from our daughter/granddaughter, which was good. Then life changed suddenly in late 2020, my husband was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, life became a whirlwind and he was gone in January 2021. So here I am now in a place where I have no future with the love of my life, grieving and wanting to move again but didn't want to leave my daughter and granddaughter who also didn't want to move. Making friends in your 60's is hard and extremely challenging. You have lived your life with so many ups and downs that its truly hard to trust, so you have a few acquaintances because the people you called your true friends are in another location. It sounds good to hear, we'll get together soon, but it gets harder and harder as you age. My daughter and granddaughter have their lives, so I see them once a week maybe, yes we FaceTime everyday but it's not the same. I'd love to live with my daughter and granddaughter but realize they need their space as well. So here I am now at 67, living alone in a place where I can't really find myself and sometimes it gets so overwhelming, So its challenging as you age to make a move, its more emotionally taxing to me than physically. If you have a supportive partner alongside you, you can do it, I know we could have had a great future here if given a chance. I'm making the most of being here, trying not to complain because so many others are in worst predicaments and thanking God everyday that I wake up and can just still be near family.

@regenia77
I'm guessing since you are ex military that you moved around quite a bit over the years and it felt good to put down roots. You lost that when you moved closer to your daughter and then lost your husband. You have proven your strength of spirit here to us. I can't imagine what you went through. I too find it difficult to make friends. Hopefully you will find a church group, senior center or some volunteer work to keep you busy and find some new friends along the way.

@kjoed53
I’m in the first year of having my two daughters live so far away from me—as I’ve said in my post one lives in Alaska, other in Amsterdam and traveling to see either one of them takes about the same amount of time since getting to see my Alaska daughter involves a four or five hour ferry trip, and a flight of eight hours.
What has helped me the most is volunteering—the library, reading tutoring for elementary schools and working at a food pantry distribution center.
I did childcare for my daughter’s three children 2-3 days/week for the last seven years, so their absence really has made a difference in my weekly life. I began doing childcare for them two months after I retired, and really didn’t develop my retirement life because of this. They appreciated me for sure and I appreciated the time with them, but when they moved, it left a big hole in my life.
I still haven’t come to a decision on staying put or moving to Portland, which is much busier than my town in southern Oregon. I hedge on going forward with this because of all the traffic that I hear about from my sister who on the other hand strongly encourages me to come up there to be nearer family—3 sisters, 2 brothers—all aged 62-74. I plan to go up in the next month for a few days to look around neighborhoods that she will show me to see if I’ll be able to visualize making the change.
I appreciate this thread in the ability to read decision-making and circumstances of others in my age – – it’s not an easy time, this transition.

@kjoed53
I’m in the first year of having my two daughters live so far away from me—as I’ve said in my post one lives in Alaska, other in Amsterdam and traveling to see either one of them takes about the same amount of time since getting to see my Alaska daughter involves a four or five hour ferry trip, and a flight of eight hours.
What has helped me the most is volunteering—the library, reading tutoring for elementary schools and working at a food pantry distribution center.
I did childcare for my daughter’s three children 2-3 days/week for the last seven years, so their absence really has made a difference in my weekly life. I began doing childcare for them two months after I retired, and really didn’t develop my retirement life because of this. They appreciated me for sure and I appreciated the time with them, but when they moved, it left a big hole in my life.
I still haven’t come to a decision on staying put or moving to Portland, which is much busier than my town in southern Oregon. I hedge on going forward with this because of all the traffic that I hear about from my sister who on the other hand strongly encourages me to come up there to be nearer family—3 sisters, 2 brothers—all aged 62-74. I plan to go up in the next month for a few days to look around neighborhoods that she will show me to see if I’ll be able to visualize making the change.
I appreciate this thread in the ability to read decision-making and circumstances of others in my age – – it’s not an easy time, this transition.