Taking over as Power of Attorney

Posted by maryvc @maryvc, Sep 23, 2023

I am taking over the finances now. My husband was diagnosed with MCI in March and it became more apparent that I needed to take over. I let our financial advisor know and told him we would be letting Fidelity manage all IRA stock accounts. Because I said he was impaired and my husband agreed, his signature was not accepted when we were buying a fixed annuity. Our advisor said there is a rule that if there is indication of any impairment they need the POA to sign. That’s me. I had to sign everything. I’m wondering if I need to call our bank and notify them.
My husband is still capable of using a credit card and writing a check. He just can’t handle the bills and portfolio management.
How have any of you handled this?

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I'm still finding my way through the POA stuff. I took over bill paying years ago. Do you know the definitions of the various POA's ? I have a POA which refers to me as an Attorney In Fact and it reads that I can legally take care of buying and selling, handling anything and all things as he would. I would keep the MCI diagnosis quiet from too many people because there are some unscrupulous players who may try to take advantage. Since your husband openly admits he has an issue, I doubt he's going to go into the bank and pull a loan or anything else for that matter. I can't stress this enough - Be careful who all knows about the MCI, seriously. Only share with people on a "need to know" basis. If you need help handling the portfolio, talk to a trusted friend who is knowledgeable or hire a financial advisor.

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I, too, am at the point where I need to legally assume POA for my wife. We signed all the necessary papers a couple years ago when we updated our wills. However, I'm not clear on the step needed to actually take on the POA. She no longer will understand what its all about, so do I just notify appropriate financial/business
entities that I've assumed POA? Publish the fact? Or just do it as occasions arise?

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I hope there's a legal eagle on this board - I just re-read my POA's (plural) and now I'm a little confused. I have POA and Advance Medical Directive and Health Care POA. The POA reads that it does not terminate upon his disability, incompetency or incapacity..... Isn't this statement what makes it a Durable POA even if the word Durable is not used?

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Well everybody knows about the MCI. We purposely went to our estate elder law atty to update all wills and documents and POA status. I need to call him and see if there is anything else I need to do. I understand not saying anything but I’ve seen too many situations where the wife or husband took a step back from understanding the finances and then it’s too late to get out of a mess.
There is a book “Before You Get Hit By a Bus. “ To me his diagnosis triggered the fact that we need now to make sure we are thinking of the possible cost long term care and using this precious time to enjoy what we can. But it also made me have to increase my money IQ.

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Like, helpful and hugs to all of you. When my husband was diagnosed I felt like we were hit by a bus. We both are the picture of health and thought we would grow pleasantly old together. Now we see a timeline and an unknown future.
And I want to keep things running as smooth as I can in these moments so I want to get all our ducks in a row 🦆🦆🦆

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My husband has Lewy Body dementia and was diagnosed in 2020. I saw symptoms of dementia before that. We had our trusts and wills done in 2017. However, we had Durable Powers of Attorney drawn up because the federal government and some other agencies will only accept a DPOA and not a POA. When my husband could no longer make decisions regarding finances, I asked his neurologist to write a letter activating the DPOA. It's my experience that federal government agencies won't accept the POA unless the word "DURABLE" is in the title of the document. I keep a copy of the DPOA in my husband's emergency binder. The bank, hospitals, financial advisor, doctors, and others have copies or at least are aware of the situation. I was told that because my husband was diagnosed with dementia, if he had an accident while driving, we could possibly lose everything if we got sued. He doesn't drive any longer, and I have taken him off our car insurance.

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@jan83404

My husband has Lewy Body dementia and was diagnosed in 2020. I saw symptoms of dementia before that. We had our trusts and wills done in 2017. However, we had Durable Powers of Attorney drawn up because the federal government and some other agencies will only accept a DPOA and not a POA. When my husband could no longer make decisions regarding finances, I asked his neurologist to write a letter activating the DPOA. It's my experience that federal government agencies won't accept the POA unless the word "DURABLE" is in the title of the document. I keep a copy of the DPOA in my husband's emergency binder. The bank, hospitals, financial advisor, doctors, and others have copies or at least are aware of the situation. I was told that because my husband was diagnosed with dementia, if he had an accident while driving, we could possibly lose everything if we got sued. He doesn't drive any longer, and I have taken him off our car insurance.

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That's good information, thank you.

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Thanks to all the comments. I have durable POA, so looks like its mainly a case by case situation.

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Thank you for this discussion. We have been married 59 years. My husband was certified but the neurologist in November 2020 with dementia and Parkinson’s. I became his POA in February 2020 while he was still able to designate me. Our POA clearly states my duties including bank, selling properties, etc. His 401 k was with Fidelity and he could no longer communicate with them. Even though I was his P.O.A, they would not allow me to do transactions on his behalf. So they allowed me to move his 401 k to another company. He is no longer verbal. Anyone had experiences like this. Thank you with warm wishes

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Whoa! I've held a POA before and was never told that I could not do _______fill in the blank. So, am I understanding that they did not want to honor your POA? What a mine field we're in.

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