Stigma & Mental Illness

Posted by Roxie43 @roxie43, Dec 5, 2011

Albeit shameful and ignorant that it is almost 2012, and many of us are still confronted with biases. judgements and disparate treatment, I encourage all to hold your head up high. I know what it’s like to be looked at differently because of a label, diagnosis or even someones inability to look deeper than the surface.
I often ask myself why some folks behave the way they behave and perhaps I will never find an honest answer. I hypothesize that perhaps there is something in me that may remind someone of themselves or that perhaps that, until recently, I had always functioned so well that those with certain belief systems or stereo-types feel that they are experts on who I am.
I recently posted on ECT and the benefits for me as an individual. Talk therapy is also important because it allows us to process, in a safe and healthy forum, the things that people have said or done to us. I recall when I first requested FMLA at work and a person made the comment “If you cannot report to work maybe you should not work”. I was requesting intermittent leave because the stigma and disparate treatment was taking it’s toll and this so called healthy individual was so insensitive.
I know we have come a long way but we still have a long way to go. Stigma is one reason some don’t admit that something ails them nor seek help. We all have to use our voices, our stories, our expertise (on who were are) and continue to raise awareness about the importance of treating others the way in which one would like to be treated, not selective respect and equality but across the board.
Being good to one another should not be based on pre-conceived notions that certain populations are more worthy than others. We are valuable individuals with strengths, creativity, feelings and we contribute to society wholeheartedly and should always be viewed and treated as such!
Have you been treated differently lately? How did you deal with it?

@roxie43

I was told by a friend that I am allowing the enemy to win. She told me that I should not own other peoples issues. I have known this for some time but for some reason when she called me and said it for the 100th time I thought about long and hard and she’s right.
She said some people are good and some could not begin to show another human being any type of empathy because they are cold and in denial of how horrible they feel about themselves.
Another friend who runs a drug abuse program wrote me and said “Girl, don’t you know racism, differential treatment and stigma never went away”? This pill was hard to swallow but I can understand what she means.
I don’t like seeing people as enemies, except for 1 person, but the truth is we all have to continually protect ourselves because we just don’t know others intentions until proven otherwise.
Then, Delia, spoke about forgiveness and letting go and she is so on point with her insight and advice. I need to let go and stay away from people that do not uplift my spirit even if it means that down the road I make some profound changes.
All said, no matter how good you try to be to others there will always be at least one person who will take out their unhappiness on others.
I have had my share of pain and unhappiness, so this is not an excuse for the behavior, but perhaps I need to have more empathy even for those that trespass because there has to be something really going on with a person who intentionally hurts others.
Here’s to learning how to let go, move forth and praying for those with more internal pain than I have.
Rox….

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Peoplr always have opinions about what you should do. Looking at a situation like yours is not about winning. Do what you need and follow your heart.
you at not in a contest and moreover not a loser.

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@roxie43

I was told by a friend that I am allowing the enemy to win. She told me that I should not own other peoples issues. I have known this for some time but for some reason when she called me and said it for the 100th time I thought about long and hard and she’s right.
She said some people are good and some could not begin to show another human being any type of empathy because they are cold and in denial of how horrible they feel about themselves.
Another friend who runs a drug abuse program wrote me and said “Girl, don’t you know racism, differential treatment and stigma never went away”? This pill was hard to swallow but I can understand what she means.
I don’t like seeing people as enemies, except for 1 person, but the truth is we all have to continually protect ourselves because we just don’t know others intentions until proven otherwise.
Then, Delia, spoke about forgiveness and letting go and she is so on point with her insight and advice. I need to let go and stay away from people that do not uplift my spirit even if it means that down the road I make some profound changes.
All said, no matter how good you try to be to others there will always be at least one person who will take out their unhappiness on others.
I have had my share of pain and unhappiness, so this is not an excuse for the behavior, but perhaps I need to have more empathy even for those that trespass because there has to be something really going on with a person who intentionally hurts others.
Here’s to learning how to let go, move forth and praying for those with more internal pain than I have.
Rox….

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Amen! Thanks

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

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Hi Lisa. I am new on this page & it is so interestng! I have delt with major depression & anxiety since I was 8 yrs. old & I’m 64 yrs. old at this time. By the way, my name is Rebecca & I spent 30 years + of my life being a nurse. Helping others with their “health” problems whether they be physical/mental/emotional. Now if I could only get my own head in line. Just hearing how much help you & Piglet have learned to lean on you inner strength & your faith has given me real hope. I’m on sooooo many meds that not only am i broke all the time due to meds but I go thru every morning feeling like I have a hangover. I had a terrific counsellor/friend that I talked to 2Xmonth but being my age she is retiring in a month & I’m a little stressed over this. Have to remember—-rely on myself & my faith, which is so important to me. Thanks so much for listening. I appreciate it!!!

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

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Hello rebecca! It is so nice to meet you! I too have delt with depression since I was a child, and I am on so many meds, that the girls in the pharmacy know me by sight. They even have my birthdate memorized. I have found that age means little to depression. I have always been friendless and emotionally alone except for my wonderful husband. Unfortunately, he works two and sometimes three jobs to provide for our family and four children. He is always so tired that usually I just sit quietly and let him doze without bothering him. I can’t work now, and my “Get the job done” attitude makes my couch sitting frustrating. I don’t mean to complain on and on, but I just wanted you to know I really do understand. I met my new friends on this site at a time when I didn’t know if I would get through another day. They have helped me sooo much by being there so often with advice and support. I am here for you anytime you need me, this I promise you. I pray every night for strength for me and my friends here. I will pray for you tonight. Cares and prayers to you- Lisa4

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

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Hi! I hope you are doing well. Tomorrow is ECT day, and no matter how many times I go through it, it’s like the first time. Silly me. I’m loving the weather here, almost like summer! I sit out on the deck with a glass of iced tea to get that valuable sunlight. Care and hugs to you and I hope youe are well. your friendship means so much to me- Lisa4

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

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Hi there! I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow is ECT day again, so I might be out of comission for a couple days while I deal with the headaches. I wanted you to know I’ll be thinking of you and Roxie43 each day. You guys mean so much to me! I hope you’re doing okay, and I hope to talk again soon. Cares and Prayers to you- Lisa4

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

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So happy to hear from you. The headaches were the worst part for me. Have they prescribed Soma? It helps as does migraine meds.
Let us know how your mood is next time you check in.
Best of luck Lisa!!!!!
Rox

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

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You sound good. I’m proud of you for having faith. Enjoy the beautiful weather
Rox

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

Jump to this post

Hi Lisa great to hear from you you have been in my thoughts good luck for your Ect’ I.m sure all will be fine. Hope the headaches improve So proud of you. Roxie and I have been thinking of you too. Take care god bless, Keep in touch Piglit

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@nativefloridian

I don’t know that this issue will ever improve. I have found that most people are very judgmental and the stigma involved with mental health issues, especially depression, etc. seems to be something that must be accepted. As much as we would all like to see everyone treated respectfully, people simply aren’t going to do that across the board. I have found it is best to keep my own personal problems to myself, in general, I don’t share the fact that I take antidepressant medication or go to see a psychologist for talk therapy. The only people that know this about me are very close to me and only a very few friends that I have know for a long time and that are true friends. Most acquaintances and coworkers, etc. will only pass judgment and use the information against you, if for any reason you are to reveal your personal mental health issues with them. It is best to face reality and realize that this is a very competitive society we live in right now, especially due to the economic conditions and so many out of work. I would not reveal anything of the sort to anyone that had anything to do with my job or a potential job or anything else related to my livelihood. I hope you understand what I’m trying to tell you, it is not out of shame or disrespect that I write this. It is simply out of guarding one’s own mental health and not putting yourself in a position to be treated disrespectfully or judged. Sometimes the less others kinow the better, let them judge you based on your current lifestyle and work ethic. Why give others a list of your weaknesses when it is not necessary. There is no shame in that. On the other hand, if you are trying to help others and you work in a mental health capacity, then by all means share your success stories with your patients. Otherwise, exposing your weaknesses can cost you if people get cut-throat and decide to compete with your over a promotion or some other stepping stone. Life is short, I say live and let live, but keep healthy boundaries with others. Be selective and know that you should only share your negative or weak areas with those that you trust. I’m not paranoid, I’ve just learned the hard way. I once shared very personal information with someone close to me that I really trusted and they used it against me later, winning a court case. That was not fair, but it happened, nonetheless.

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I am sorry for your experience. I can’t imagine how I would have reacted.
I would hold individuals accountable by suing each one seperately. Did you know that? Cruelty to a disabled workers gives us the right to sue individuals. Do they possess any credentialing? Oh boy if they do.
Do not let this go. If you let this go they will continue destroying lives. Do you have legal help? I read all posts and this sounds insane excuse the pun.
I wish you strength to fight back my chum.

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@nativefloridian

I don’t know that this issue will ever improve. I have found that most people are very judgmental and the stigma involved with mental health issues, especially depression, etc. seems to be something that must be accepted. As much as we would all like to see everyone treated respectfully, people simply aren’t going to do that across the board. I have found it is best to keep my own personal problems to myself, in general, I don’t share the fact that I take antidepressant medication or go to see a psychologist for talk therapy. The only people that know this about me are very close to me and only a very few friends that I have know for a long time and that are true friends. Most acquaintances and coworkers, etc. will only pass judgment and use the information against you, if for any reason you are to reveal your personal mental health issues with them. It is best to face reality and realize that this is a very competitive society we live in right now, especially due to the economic conditions and so many out of work. I would not reveal anything of the sort to anyone that had anything to do with my job or a potential job or anything else related to my livelihood. I hope you understand what I’m trying to tell you, it is not out of shame or disrespect that I write this. It is simply out of guarding one’s own mental health and not putting yourself in a position to be treated disrespectfully or judged. Sometimes the less others kinow the better, let them judge you based on your current lifestyle and work ethic. Why give others a list of your weaknesses when it is not necessary. There is no shame in that. On the other hand, if you are trying to help others and you work in a mental health capacity, then by all means share your success stories with your patients. Otherwise, exposing your weaknesses can cost you if people get cut-throat and decide to compete with your over a promotion or some other stepping stone. Life is short, I say live and let live, but keep healthy boundaries with others. Be selective and know that you should only share your negative or weak areas with those that you trust. I’m not paranoid, I’ve just learned the hard way. I once shared very personal information with someone close to me that I really trusted and they used it against me later, winning a court case. That was not fair, but it happened, nonetheless.

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thanks for well wishes. I cannot or rather don’t feel comfortable discussing legal matters at this point. I’m more invested in my recovery now.
Rox

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@roxie43

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That’s great…any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast……
Happy Holidays to All,

Jump to this post

Hi Rebecca welcome. I also as you know have dealt with anxiety from a young age and depression later in life. I have always been a positve person and have relied on this to get me through challenges that I have had to deal with. I am sure that you will find a new counsellor to talk to, maybe the one that is retiring can recommend someone for you. I am a great believer in taking time for ourselves whether it just be a coffee or a walk I find a good release. I am awlays her to listen and there are others to who will always be there to support you when needed. You have no need to ever feel alone withthis as we are here to care and support you. I am sorry that you are having issues with your medications maybe your dr could help with this. Keep up the faith God Bless Take care Piglit

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