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roxie43

Stigma & Mental Illness~~Speak Up

Posted by @roxie43 in Brain & Nervous System, Dec 5, 2011

Albeit shameful and ignorant that it is almost 2012, and many of us are still confronted with biases. judgements and disparate treatment, I encourage all to hold your head up high. I know what it's like to be looked at differently because of a label, diagnosis or even someones inability to look deeper than the surface.
I often ask myself why some folks behave the way they behave and perhaps I will never find an honest answer. I hypothesize that perhaps there is something in me that may remind someone of themselves or that perhaps that, until recently, I had always functioned so well that those with certain belief systems or stereo-types feel that they are experts on who I am.
I recently posted on ECT and the benefits for me as an individual. Talk therapy is also important because it allows us to process, in a safe and healthy forum, the things that people have said or done to us. I recall when I first requested FMLA at work and a person made the comment "If you cannot report to work maybe you should not work". I was requesting intermittent leave because the stigma and disparate treatment was taking it's toll and this so called healthy individual was so insensitive.
I know we have come a long way but we still have a long way to go. Stigma is one reason some don't admit that something ails them nor seek help. We all have to use our voices, our stories, our expertise (on who were are) and continue to raise awareness about the importance of treating others the way in which one would like to be treated, not selective respect and equality but across the board.
Being good to one another should not be based on pre-conceived notions that certain populations are more worthy than others. We are valuable individuals with strengths, creativity, feelings and we contribute to society wholeheartedly and should always be viewed and treated as such!
Have you been treated differently lately? How did you deal with it?

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grandmal, CrystalLucinda, Help4rmAngels and 4 others like this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Dec 14, 2011

Looks as if this issue is not a problem for readers?? That's great...any ideas as to how to improve acceptance and minimize judgement on the East Coast......
Happy Holidays to All,

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 19, 2012

I know this is late, but I do struggle every day with the stigma from depression, treatment, and ECT. I have been in treatment for over a year and have debilitating headaches every day, memory problems, and other issues that keep me from finishing the nursing school I was attending as well as driving school bus. Onlu now are we even considering moving the treatments to three weeks apart. I stay home and don't even attend church anymore due to the stigma.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 21, 2012

Hi Lisa,
I'm so sorry about all you are dealing with
Being ill is challenging enough without being exposed to ignorance and stigma. The best advice I can give you is not to allow others to define who you are
Often, those that belittle and discriminate, have deeper issues than we do. Its very easy to focus on another because it is far less distancing than dealing with one's own life.
I know ECT affects everyone differently so please ensure that your provider is aware of your symptoms. Also make sure both sides (bilateral) is not being done. Unilateral ECT has less side effects including less memory loss. This is only done on the right side of the brain and from a personal perspective helped. However, there are still minor issues like headaches but they have improved from daily to once in a while.
Please don't isolate. Try to be active and hold your head up high at all times.
Kindly,
Rox

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 21, 2012

Thank you so much for the insight. It is helpful to speak to someone who understands due to personal experience. I do receive bilateral, due to lack of response from the other. My husband and four kids are so loving and supportive, but sometimes I get so frustrated. I used to take my kids camping and plant a huge garden. I even built a deck and patio, but now I sit here, unable to even stand for more than a few minutes without a head rush and dizziness and headache. I want my life back! Sorry to whine so much. I feel so ashamed to put my family through this. It's so hard to keep going with my head up.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 22, 2012

Please don't be ashamed. We did not do anything to cause our illnesses but we can fight tooth and nail to recover. I believe in recovery and unfortunately some recover quicker than others. Talk to your family and tell them how you feel. I bet they love you very much and just want you back. Sometimes, in addition to educating ourselves we have to educate our loved ones because often they are misinformed and think we can just snap out of what ails us.
You have to have faith in yourself that you will be building decks and camping again. In the meanwhile, don't be so hard on yourself. You are human, not some robot and have probably spent your life doing for others. Its ok for our loved ones to uplift and support us as well.
I am proud of you for sharing your story because it shows me and you as well as others that we are not alone. Your friend here is routing for you ...

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 22, 2012

Thankyou so much for the uplifting response. I was taught from a young age to care for others. It's a big part of who I am. I feel so down sometimes that suicide seems like a viable option just to stop the pain both physically and mentally, to finally end the struggle. Yes, of course I know that that is the depression talking, and that my family needs me. My faith also helps as I pray daily for strength, but I have to say that talking to you and forcing myself into talk therapy every week helps more than anything else. It's hard for me to trust and to ask for help, but somehow my counselor, Jim, sneakily figured out a way to get past that, and my husband teases me about telling Jim when I start to get down on myself. Again, thank you, and I feel selfish talking so much about me. How are you? I know that I don't struggle alone. I hope that you are not still being bullied?

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 22, 2012

Never hurt yourself even if the pain is overwhelming. Those that I lost to suicide left such a void. And you're not being selfish because your story is important to others and me. We can be our harshest critics. Its fine with me when someone shares because that is also part of healing
As for me, the bullies don't like it when one fights back. If they only knew how much they hurt people but they are hurting to so I pray.
No one struggles alone. Make sure you reach out to someone because there are good people in this world.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 22, 2012

It is always important to remember that there are people out here that are more than willing to listen, understand and if we can to help. You are not alone and I don't won't you to ever feel that you are Take care Piglit

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 23, 2012

Thank you Piglit, and I keep trying to remind myself that there are others also struggling and that truly understand what I'm going through. This is my first effort at communicating with others via my computer. My counselor wants me to put myself out there. It's so hard, but I really appreciate your comment- Sincerely, Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 23, 2012

Hi lisa . Thanks for responding back. Please always remember that there are people out here that are more than willing to support you through this difficult time. I have got good listening ears and am always here to help in anyway that I can. I can fully understand what you are going through with your son. I have taught many children with Asphergers and they as you know are very special. Some of my most wonderful memories are of the experiences that I have had with these children. My own son was the victim of bullying, both physically and mentally. Hence I had to leave my teaching of many years, as he was being bullied at the school. However, as the years have gone and and he has overcome the difficulties, he has developed into a fine young man. This is the reason why I went into Aged care and found a new career path for myself. When you feel down remember that things always start to look up. Keep the faith, use the inner strength that I believe we all have., and remember that there are people who do care and are always here for you. Stay positive, God bless, Talk again soon Piglit

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 24, 2012

I had such an odd experience yesterday that I just had to share. I went to the eye doctor to see if poor sight could be contributing to my daily headaches and dizzy spells, and the nurse who helped me choose my glasses ( turns out I do have focusing issues) mentioned that she too suffered from headaches. She mentioned the three meds she takes, and I realized that I take the same ones. She also talked about stress sometimes making things worse, and I mentioned my son and his Aspergers, and she looked really surprised and said that she also has a son with Autism! I felt kind of bad for her, as her 9 year old son is low functioning, and my Cody is really high functioning. I felt bad about that, because even high functioning Autistic children can be very challenging despite their great intelligence and good intentions. I wanted to give her my email address and tell her to contact me if she ever needed to talk or if she needed to take a break, as I know how to care for these special children, but my husband laughed and said that I should resist the urge to care for and fix the world. I did at least give her a little useful info about cheaper meds that should save her a little stress. Is my urge to help and fix a character flaw? It's one reason that I wanted to become a nurse. I feel so awful all the time lately, but when I'm helping, I'm not "Poor Meing". Anyway, care and prayers to all of you, sincerely, Lisa4.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 24, 2012

Hi lisa, I replied to this and somewho lost the message. So I'll start again. Take no notice iif it reappears. It is such great news about your glasses. Hopefully this will help with your ongoing headaches. You know I am a great believer that when we are on a low ebb with things, that we need to take a little step back. Take time out just for you. Go shopping, a lovely long walk , maybe a coffee somewhere. Something that you enjoy doing just for you. In relation to your question as to the character flaw. No you don't, You are a very kind, caring soul who likes to help and care for people. This is who you are and a wonderful character trait to have. Try not to be so hard on yourself and take time for you.Remember that I am always hear to talk to anytime, and help if I can. God Bless Take Care. Piglit. Things will get better in time

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 25, 2012

Thank you piglit- I'm sorry, but I smile every time I type in your name as I grew up feeding piglets on a farm, and they were a lot of fun, though I bet that's not what you are going for,LOL. My screen name is much less interesting as I am Lisa, and I have four great kids. Anyway, I digress big time, and I apologize for that. I have a bad headache and often try humor to get through instead of meds. I like your suggestion of trying to do a few things for myself, though I find that hard to do. My mom was a 1950's housewife and mom to 10 kids, though I never see the other nine. They aren't interested. Mom was also my only real friend, and I'm afraid I got my nature from her. I don't know how many baby rabbits and squirrels she raised. Unfortunately, she passed just 18 months ago from Alzheimer's, and I miss her so
bad.I think that has much to do with the depression, though she would look at me and say "You are a great mom to four beautiful children, and they need you, so do what you have to to be there for them every day, and don't ever let them see you cry." You know what? I am talking way too much about me. How about you? Do you also struggle with depression? I am pleased to listen anytime.You All have been so kind to me! I thankyou again. It's made a real difference for me. Care and prayers, Lisa4

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 25, 2012

Hi Lisa. Great to hear from you again.I originally came on the Mayo site to see if I could find people that have FactorVLeiden. I was diagnoised with this approx two years ago. Prior to this about ten years ago I developed a clot in my left leg and P ulmornary embolsis on both lungs. The clots have continued to recoccur more the past two years, and I have had a total of about 6 dvt's in my right leg, two prior to Christmas. I am on comaudin for life and still seem to clot on it. I am lucky though because the clots as staying below the knee. My anxiety has been with me from a very young age and my depression, set in later in life. Unfortuantley i cant' take any medications as it interacts with the warfarin. Over the years I have had developed to be able to pull on my inner strength which I tell myself daily is strong everyday. At the moment I am on a low ebb as I am off work with an infection in my vein . Luckily, no clot. I am so sorry for the passing of your Mum. I can fully understand how you feel. I am a Aged Care worker. I only work with people who have high care needs. I go into peoples homes and care from them. I help alot of people with Alzheimers, parkinsons, dementia, strokes. Remember you are in the early stage of grief. Live of the memories that make you happy, By the way it's okay to cry sometimes, we all do. I'm glad Piglit makes you smile. My name originated from the Winnie the Pooh character by A.A. Milne, such wonderful stories, my real name is Annie. Thanks for the listening ears. I have more than gone on enough about me today. Take care, will talk soon, always here if you need me Piglit. Keep smiling.

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 26, 2012

As always, so happy to hear from you. My favorite character is Eeyore. I love Winnie the Pooh! I am so glad that you were able to tell me about yourself, and though I admit that I am not well versed in your health concerns, I will look it up. In the mean time, I am familiar with reaccuring problems. I started having problems with depression at 12 years with attempted suicide. The doctors were able to help eventually, but it's been back a couple times since. I also have a problem with my blood pressure spiking anytime it feels like it. I worked in a nursing home also, and I loved it very much. I had to stop when I missed a day due to horrific morning sickness and got let go, People deserve to be cared for like they still matter and are still people, instead of a burden. Inner strength seems to be what really helps us get better, as the extreme amount of meds I'm on don't seem to be helping much anyway. My inner strength is all that gets me from one day to the next, and I recharge mine with my super supportive husband's help, a surprisingly great counselor, and now this message board, as well as a lot of prayer. Each day is a struggle. I'm so glad there's no clot this time, though an infection is hard enough to deal with. I hope it heals soon, so you can get back to your patients. I bet they are missing you. I am also out of work due to my illness. March makes almost 10 months. It's tough to just rest, but that's what they all say to do. I thank you for your caring responses, and I am always here for you with listening ears. Sincerely, Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 26, 2012

H i Lisa Thanks again for your kind response. Isn't it funny that we are in the same kind of fields of work. I do miss my clients as I see them everyday. However, I am struggling with things at the moment as you know. Anyway I know I will be fine, and will rely on my inner strength as I always do. You take care of yourself as well and I am always here with my listenening ears. God Bless Piglit.

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 29, 2012

Hello there. I had an ECT treatment early Monday morning, and I'm afraid that they kind of kick my but. Every time I get up and start moving around, the headache gets worse as does the dizziness. I just ran out of pain medication, but my doctor is very stingy as she doesn't want me to get hooked. I'm so glad your leg is improving. I say a prayer for you each day. I hope that's okay and not too creepy for you. Care and Prayers! Lisa4

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 29, 2012

Hi Sorry to hear that you have had such a rough time with your ECT hopefully the headaches and dizzinness will subside for you soon. I thank you for your prayers and for your caring. Was wondering if I could add you to my friends list, so I could email you at times. By the way it takes alot to make me feel creepy. Take care God Bless. Piglit.

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 3, 2012

Sure, I would be honored to be added to you friends list. My doctor refilled my meds finally, so I am doing okay. I'm hanging in there day by day. I do get frustrated by how little I can do, but I'm working through. Care and Prayers-Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 3, 2012

Hi So glad the the dr has organized some medication for you. Remember little fairy steps one at a time work much better than big giant steps. Things will get better just give it some time. Will add you too my list. God bless Piglit

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 5, 2012

Hi lisa hope all is going well for you and your headaches are starting to subside. I put in a friend request but it hasn't come up as yet. If you could just check as nothing is coming up that I can add you to my list. Take care Piglit

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 6, 2012

Hello. I am hanging on by a thread, but that's better than nothing I guess. I am so unknowledgeable about facebook, but I have been asking my 17 year old, who seems to know a lot more about it. I hope you are doing well. I am happy to listen any time you need to talk. My fondest cares and prayers.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 6, 2012

Hi Lisa
The fact that you're hanging on is a success. I'm proud of you. I'm also impressed that you are keeping busy. I'm ok my friend. I have good and dark days but everyday that I wake up I have to see it as a blessing
Still not back at work after 3 re-start dates but I'm trying to be optimistic that I will be doing what I love one day soon. Continue hanging on Lisa! I have faith in you and your recovery.
God bless your friend Rox

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 7, 2012

Hi Lisa. I too am proud of you, just keep on going the way you are little fairy steps before you take the giant ones. You'll be fine your inner strength will get you through. God bless take care will talk again soon. Piglit

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 10, 2012

Hi! I wrote a longer reply but posted it to Roxie43's spot on the Mayo site. I wanted to send it to you also, but I am still struggling to learn all this technical stuff. Sorry. Love, Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 10, 2012

Hi Lisa. You have had such a busy week, filled with all different kinds of emotions, I am so proud of you, and the way you are keeping active and as busy as you can. It's good to keep busy it keeps your mind off things. as you know. I am glad that. you went to see the Dr and hopefully you will know start to feel better. I also hope ECT goes well for you on Monday, I'm sure it will continue to help you and make you feel brighter . Try not to dwell too much on the family situation, I'm sure in their funny ways they do care. The main thing is to concentrate on your family and you, You sound as if you have a good support with your husband which is a good thing. Take care God bless, my friend. Will talk soon. Piglit

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 14, 2012

Hi lisa just wanted to know how you are feeling and if your'e okay You have been in my thoughts Talk soon take care Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 15, 2012

Promoting recovery and hope....

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 19, 2012

Hello to both of you. It has been a crazy time with extra kids staying over for my daughter's ninth bday and everything. I'm doing okay. My mood is iffy. Sometimes I'm able to interact with my husband and kids with no problem, but other times I just get so down. I'm trying so hard with everything I know to do to keep going. Every night I pray really hard for strength and faith. Love and hugs to you both. and I hope you are well.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 19, 2012

Hi Lisa . So glad to hear from you. Also so very proud of you. I'm sure that your mood will improve just give yourself a little time. Take care have been thinking of you. Love and big hug back to you too. Piglit WereAlways here if you need to talk

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 20, 2012

Thankyou! It really helps to know that you and Roxie43 are always here. Have a great day!

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 20, 2012

Thank you too. We are in this together so never forget you are not alone!
Rox

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 25, 2012

Hi! I hope you are doing well. Tomorrow is ECT day, and no matter how many times I go through it, it's like the first time. Silly me. I'm loving the weather here, almost like summer! I sit out on the deck with a glass of iced tea to get that valuable sunlight. Care and hugs to you and I hope youe are well. your friendship means so much to me- Lisa4

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 25, 2012

You sound good. I'm proud of you for having faith. Enjoy the beautiful weather
Rox

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 25, 2012

Hi there! I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow is ECT day again, so I might be out of comission for a couple days while I deal with the headaches. I wanted you to know I'll be thinking of you and Roxie43 each day. You guys mean so much to me! I hope you're doing okay, and I hope to talk again soon. Cares and Prayers to you- Lisa4

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 25, 2012

So happy to hear from you. The headaches were the worst part for me. Have they prescribed Soma? It helps as does migraine meds.
Let us know how your mood is next time you check in.
Best of luck Lisa!!!!!
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 25, 2012

Hi Lisa great to hear from you you have been in my thoughts good luck for your Ect' I.m sure all will be fine. Hope the headaches improve So proud of you. Roxie and I have been thinking of you too. Take care god bless, Keep in touch Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 20, 2012

We all have good and then challenging days. What's important is that we are alive and can continue working on ourselves.
The most important thing to remember is never to give up HOPE ....
God bless
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 13, 2012

No worries dear
I just want to know how you are, if the headaches are less severe, I vividly recall those OMG but they do stop, & if you have noticed a change in mood.
Best
Rox

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 10, 2012

Hello there. I have had such a crazy week! I had three parent teacher conferences, two doctor appointments, one counselor appointment, and my sister that I haven't seen in over two years decided to come and give me a guilt trip that I haven't been talking to my nine siblings and everyone thought I was dead. That's actually funny since I used to contact them, but they ignored me. I also had to attend a school music program, and my husband (bless his poor heart) had the flu all week. The good news is that I finally got my doctor to listen to me after breaking down in her office and almost having a heart attack literally. She determined a couple of the meds I've been taking have been causing arrithmia and high blood pressure. She took me off them, so we'll see. I'm sorry to complain, and I hope that you all had a calmer week, and that you are feeling okay. I have ECT Monday, so I will hope to talk to you all real soon. Remember that you always have my cares and prayers. Take care! Lisa4

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 10, 2012

Hi Lisa
Wow you have been active but that's a good thing because it takes one's mind off of Self for a little while. As for family, sometimes they forget the things they do but I am sure they care. Try not to let little things get you down because you sound great.
You must be tired after the week you have had. I think its great that you're keeping busy and that your mere we're re-evaluated. Try to relax this weekend and be proud because you have accomplished so much this week.
Take care my friend
Rox

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 29, 2012

Hi
The headaches are horrible but worth it and they do subside. Hang in there as long as you can because the treatment can be amazing.
Sincerely Rox

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 3, 2012

It's good to hear from you! I hope you are well. You're right, the treatments are worth it despite the side effects. I'll keep hanging. Take care! Lisa4

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 4, 2012

Good for you Lisa. I told you just give it a few sessions and you will feel alive again.
You're in my thoughts ....
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 28, 2012

Hi lisa How are things going? Haven't heard in a while so I thought I 'd just check to see if all is okay. My leg is slowly getting better and hopefully I will be back at work soon. I'm sure in time that things will get back to normal for you too, and hopefully you will be able to get back to the work the you enjoy. If not in our field of work there are always different avenues that we can look into. Anyway had better go, and get a few things down. Take Care Piglit. I'm a great beleiver in taking one liitle step at a time, it seems to work better than the giant ones.

rebecca1965

Posted by @rebecca1965, Mar 25, 2012

Hi Lisa. I am new on this page & it is so interestng! I have delt with major depression & anxiety since I was 8 yrs. old & I'm 64 yrs. old at this time. By the way, my name is Rebecca & I spent 30 years + of my life being a nurse. Helping others with their "health" problems whether they be physical/mental/emotional. Now if I could only get my own head in line. Just hearing how much help you & Piglet have learned to lean on you inner strength & your faith has given me real hope. I'm on sooooo many meds that not only am i broke all the time due to meds but I go thru every morning feeling like I have a hangover. I had a terrific counsellor/friend that I talked to 2Xmonth but being my age she is retiring in a month & I'm a little stressed over this. Have to remember----rely on myself & my faith, which is so important to me. Thanks so much for listening. I appreciate it!!!

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 25, 2012

Hello rebecca! It is so nice to meet you! I too have delt with depression since I was a child, and I am on so many meds, that the girls in the pharmacy know me by sight. They even have my birthdate memorized. I have found that age means little to depression. I have always been friendless and emotionally alone except for my wonderful husband. Unfortunately, he works two and sometimes three jobs to provide for our family and four children. He is always so tired that usually I just sit quietly and let him doze without bothering him. I can't work now, and my "Get the job done" attitude makes my couch sitting frustrating. I don't mean to complain on and on, but I just wanted you to know I really do understand. I met my new friends on this site at a time when I didn't know if I would get through another day. They have helped me sooo much by being there so often with advice and support. I am here for you anytime you need me, this I promise you. I pray every night for strength for me and my friends here. I will pray for you tonight. Cares and prayers to you- Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 27, 2012

Hi Rebecca welcome. I also as you know have dealt with anxiety from a young age and depression later in life. I have always been a positve person and have relied on this to get me through challenges that I have had to deal with. I am sure that you will find a new counsellor to talk to, maybe the one that is retiring can recommend someone for you. I am a great believer in taking time for ourselves whether it just be a coffee or a walk I find a good release. I am awlays her to listen and there are others to who will always be there to support you when needed. You have no need to ever feel alone withthis as we are here to care and support you. I am sorry that you are having issues with your medications maybe your dr could help with this. Keep up the faith God Bless Take care Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 26, 2012

That was a blessing in itself because its another perfect example that you are not alone. When we least expect it something greater than us reminds us that people every where on this earth have challenges but we can still be kind and big hearted and support others. How amazing you pick out your glasses with the help from a stranger that you had things in common with. Why do you think so many people who work helping others also aye in treatment?
Have a wonderful evening and you should feel proud

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Feb 23, 2012

I think they hurt others to try to stop thinking about how much they are hurting too. My son has Aspergers Syndrome, and gets bullied every day because he doesn't fit the mold of most 13 year olds. They think that if they direct everyone's attention to him, that noone will notice their faults. A stupid reason, I know. I'm proud of you for fighting back. I hope it helps. I am fighting my bad thoughts tooth and nail. I know it's not the right thing to do, but it's so hard to keep reminding myself on the really hard days. Good luck sweetie, and I am always happy to talk. Lisa4

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 23, 2012

I become infuriated when I hear a child is being bullied because that can impact one's self worth forever. Please make sure your son knows that the bullies are the flawed ones. As for you Lisa, just tell yourself everyday how much you matter to yourself and loved one's and never forget that the present dark clouds will soon be filled with the warm sun and you will be surrounded by light. I love the sun but if it's cloudy and dark get yourself a lamp with bright lights because light therapy can be helpful in improving mood. I tend to go to the tanning shop and it does work.
Lisa, Piglit and my other friends let's try to have a better day! Thank you for your wonderful discussion's and have a blessed day

Lisa4 likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 28, 2012

Hi Lisa
how are you and how was ECT on Monday? In my thoughts ..
Rox

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Mar 29, 2012

ECT went okay. The headaches are the usual, but the kids are on spring break this week, so I haven't been able to rest much. All the running and bending is making the headaches worse this time. Oh well, I guess that's just my luck. Love and hugs-Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 29, 2012

Hi lisa wonderful to hear from you. Try a get alittle rest if you can. Hope the heaches improve. Hug and love back to you too Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 25, 2012

Guess I was wrong I am not alone in this shameful behaviors of others.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 16, 2012

Im amazed at how this post slowly evolved. It's an uncomfortable topic that we know all too well.
Thank you for opening up despite how you may have felt when you read it. Its important for all of us, our future and the future of other's.
Your voice counts more than silence
Appreciative

Posted by Anonymous-aeaf6ea1, Dec 19, 2011

I don't know that this issue will ever improve. I have found that most people are very judgmental and the stigma involved with mental health issues, especially depression, etc. seems to be something that must be accepted. As much as we would all like to see everyone treated respectfully, people simply aren't going to do that across the board. I have found it is best to keep my own personal problems to myself, in general, I don't share the fact that I take antidepressant medication or go to see a psychologist for talk therapy. The only people that know this about me are very close to me and only a very few friends that I have know for a long time and that are true friends. Most acquaintances and coworkers, etc. will only pass judgment and use the information against you, if for any reason you are to reveal your personal mental health issues with them. It is best to face reality and realize that this is a very competitive society we live in right now, especially due to the economic conditions and so many out of work. I would not reveal anything of the sort to anyone that had anything to do with my job or a potential job or anything else related to my livelihood. I hope you understand what I'm trying to tell you, it is not out of shame or disrespect that I write this. It is simply out of guarding one's own mental health and not putting yourself in a position to be treated disrespectfully or judged. Sometimes the less others kinow the better, let them judge you based on your current lifestyle and work ethic. Why give others a list of your weaknesses when it is not necessary. There is no shame in that. On the other hand, if you are trying to help others and you work in a mental health capacity, then by all means share your success stories with your patients. Otherwise, exposing your weaknesses can cost you if people get cut-throat and decide to compete with your over a promotion or some other stepping stone. Life is short, I say live and let live, but keep healthy boundaries with others. Be selective and know that you should only share your negative or weak areas with those that you trust. I'm not paranoid, I've just learned the hard way. I once shared very personal information with someone close to me that I really trusted and they used it against me later, winning a court case. That was not fair, but it happened, nonetheless.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Dec 19, 2011

Thank you for your post. I agree with you wholeheartedly about not sharing a mental illness at work. I do work in psychiatry and have done so for a very long time and went to graduate school for a degree in social work, My present employer of 12 years, has an extensive history of hiring peers and some in very top positions also have their illnesses. The issue in my situation is that the treatment of certain individuals with mental illness varies from enabling to do very little, the bare minimum to treating others in a very denigrating way so equality around empathy, compassion and stigma/biases is very selective and those that see the negative and hurtful behaviors are often left feeling worthless.
As for me, I am proud of who I am even if someone else may not be. I have a lot of professional experience, I am educated, my peers respect me, the consumers we treat appreciate that I am humble in my success story and I work hard and will go above and beyond for my assigned individuals. However, I am a woman who is chronically depressed, who recently had to surrender to ECT and I became increasingly worse because I felt that I was being emotionally abuse by a workplace bully. What was so hurtful was that when administration is aware that one has a history of an illness and allows for hurtful, unprofessional, corrupt, and intimidating bevavior from a supervisor to an employee and when the employee asks for help and this is not just my case everything concern reported is quickly attributed to a mental illness.
Today, I am 100% in agreement with you about being more selective in sharing my story. Self disclosure should only be considered if it will help another as a way to foster hope and/or unless when is becoming severely incapacitated because at this point a medical leave will be most helpful.
I would just like people to understand that being ignored re; valid concerns and/or being treated indifferent because of a label is discrimination un ADA laws and the employer is the one that can find themselves with a lawsuit.
I have not met one human being whom is perfect. A perfect person does not exist. We all have issues, differences, challenges and I would like to think that we live in a world where people care about how their behaviors can impact another life. Personally, I could never intentionally hurt another person because people have feelings. There is no special treatment being requested.....I just would like to see all people, despite once vocation, treating others in the same manner in which we want to be treated. And is someone is intentionally hurting us that we know that we do not have to tolerate indifference, especially in the workplace.
Thanks again for the wonderful advice and post.
Have a healthy, loving and joyous holiday season.
Sincerely, Gallart

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Posted by Anonymous-3f367f8c, Apr 7, 2012

So, so sad to read this. Let me draw from my file box some of the answers Oprah, Dr. Phil may give: Do not allow others to label you; Do not seek permission from others or give others power over you. Do not allow others to transfer their insecurities onto you. We all have "stuff" to deal with. Some people keep healthy by dumping all their issues on others. Then they walk away with renewed energy and you (figuratively speaking) are left with the toxic waste. Read the Four Agreements. Excellent. Do not allow others poison to pollute your life. Some people truly need help but do not acknowledge they have a problem. They are quick to name call others and point fingers. Hold you head high. There are laws to protect people at work. Nobody can discuss your health issues today in the work place. Yes, you do have to be discriminating in your choice of people to tell personal stuff to. Some are not mature enough or lack the wisdom to fully comprehend. Some love gossip....makes them feel better. Wish Oprah had her show in Chicago.... she truly has an understanding of life and problems. She (and many people she brought on the show) know how to find answers to share with people . So, go for a long walk and enjoy your life. You are a child of the universe.........
God Bless

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 17, 2012

Question?
I think more is known because I utilize a program just in case I need time off. The doc completes forms and they are mailed to headquarters. I often wonder if this information is shared with the individuals that would like to feel superior.
If you had to take time for yourself would you use this federal and state program so that your job is safe or would you be dishonest about why you took time off?
I once met with an affirmative action officer and I'll never forget her advice
She said "don't tell these people your business". With this she let me know so much! What I don't understand is why if my work is quality work, on time and I'm passionate about it people have to focus on other things.
I wish I could share all the derogatory and demoralizing comments that have been said to my face.
I was frozen just looking at the person/s. Then they are cowardly and deny ever making the comments.
I don't known if you have heard that words hurt more than being struck. If, I was anything like them I could say so much about them but I'm not so I humble myself and internalize it all.
However, there will be a time and place where my voice will be heard. It's coming and all that I have held in for over a decade is going to be released oh so eloquently.
Imagine someone who bullies everyone and NO ONE LIKES telling you in a condescending voice "WELL YOU HAVE SOME STRENGTHS".
I have to be the better person and swallow it.....but....where does someone get off even contemplating talking down to a peer? You have all heard that everyone has skeletons and when we all use the bathroom no one's poopie smells like flowers.....am I wrong?
Now if I am not airing out your dysfunctional past why would a person target someone who has genuinely tried to be cordial and respectful?

I'm sorry, I have so many unanswered questions and I pray I can ask them all soon. I will feel eternal and internal peace when I can look straight into someone's eyes and ask why?

What I don't get is that if people are not people persons why do they bring their baggage and release it onto innocent people?

I would have to agree with one of my friends....the helping profession does not always attract the nicest people.

That's an issue just like any other but we are less than for actually addressing ours???

Just thinking aloud because your post was excellent and made me do a little soul searching.

Many thanks for your honesty,
Roxie

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 17, 2012

Unfortunatley what you have said Roxie is so very true. In the professional world and as you know I too work in it, the politics in the systems are unreal. If we could stand up and voice our opinions and be heard it would be great. In your situation you will be able to do this and you will do it humbly and your head held high. I have been in situations when I have known that a certain duty of care had occurred. Reported this to a supervisor. It was an agency worker that had come in to do a relief and denied that the neglect had ever occurred although it had been documented. Where do you gO? when your supervsior states that the person was never there. I felt comfronted by this and felt powerless by what she had said. I was speechless. Many people do not want to say you were right and I was wrong they prefer to go down the easier avenue and deny all. Alot of the time we are not heard and comments which are hurtful are just swept under the carpet. Ask all the questions that you need write them down and let your voice be heard, It is so important that if we have the opportunity to do this that we do. If nothing else you will feel better by just as the saying goes getting it off your chest. People who feel that they have the power to belittle people in my opinion are the powerless ones and very insecure, Unfortunately the honest ones as many of us are and always will come off us the underdog in many situations. They say that honesty is a virtue and I have and always will live the rest of my days by this., regardless of what people say or think of me. Thank you Roxie for your words of wisdom once again. Take care Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 18, 2012

God bless you Piglit. Cannot believe we are same height.....with heels we are some tall chickies

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 18, 2012

God Bless you Roxie. It is a bit unbelievble and it great too be a tall chicky at times Isn't it?

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 20, 2012

Thank you for not judging me and always being kind and supportive
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 21, 2012

Always will be here to support you in any way I can. I would never be judgemental not in my nature as you know. Thanks for being there for me too Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 21, 2012

Lisa dont be so hard on yourself. There is not a person in this world who's days are great 100& of the time. You're trying and that's what matters.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 21, 2012

So proud of you for tryingtoo Lisa everything will be okay. Remember one little step at a time

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 21, 2012

Hi Lisa ....we appreciate you as well!

china

Posted by @china, Mar 26, 2012

I am sorry for your experience. I can't imagine how I would have reacted.
I would hold individuals accountable by suing each one seperately. Did you know that? Cruelty to a disabled workers gives us the right to sue individuals. Do they possess any credentialing? Oh boy if they do.
Do not let this go. If you let this go they will continue destroying lives. Do you have legal help? I read all posts and this sounds insane excuse the pun.
I wish you strength to fight back my chum.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 27, 2012

thanks for well wishes. I cannot or rather don't feel comfortable discussing legal matters at this point. I'm more invested in my recovery now.
Rox

marylynette

Posted by @marylynette, Feb 22, 2012

I have recently been denied a certain privilege at my church because my illness is not understood by others. I have PTSD and treatment resistant depression, a wonderful service dog who does give some help, but I still don't always have the ability to participate in activities with others. I also have numerous physical problems, among them Fibromyalgia which others just plain don't understand. I have a great Psychiatrist and therapist who help me deal with the stigma of having a mental illness, but that doesn't make life that much easier. I also find that doctors will often give me less credibilitiy than I deserve because of the diagnosis of PTSD, etc., and when they read my whole history there have been some who refused to treat me. I speak up whenever I can about the fact that mental illness is no different than other diseases, that there are physical realities which go with it, and have at least been able to help educate a few who were going into counselling when asked to lecture at a local college. MY abuse was in a cult, and if that comes up then the treatment I receive becomes even worse, for people do not believe that cults exist (I was raised in one for the first 20 years of my life). I think that the best thing for those of us with mental illness to do is to keep on getting out when we can and showing to the world that we are not freaks, we have an illness which unfortunately can be classified as an "invisible disability".

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 22, 2012

I am so sorry about the abuse you endured
It takes so much work to recover from abuse and society can ad to this trauma with stigma and indifference
Please take good care of yourself and never give up faith that we too deserve internal peace and happiness
Thank you for having the courage to share ....

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 22, 2012

No we are not freaks and any illness should never define who a human being is! This is why it's so important that we all know our rights and speak up if they are being violated in any way. 2012, but we are still exposed to indifference, biases and stigma. To speaking up and demanding respect! !!!!!

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Feb 22, 2012

I am so sorry to hear of the issues that you are dealing with. It is such a pity that unfortunately that some people are so ignorant to people .'s needs. Rely on your faith. God bless take care Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 22, 2012

Today is a day to reach out to a friend in need. Just when we think our own life is chaotic one learns that another is suffering even more. Thank you for your encouragement and reminding me of my faith.
Have a blessed day!!!

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china

Posted by @china, Mar 24, 2012

You were denied a privilege at church because you have an illness? How does a church, a safe and all accepting institution single you out? Did you tell anyone at the church how you feel?
So sorry thatt is unholy.

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 24, 2012

Unfortuanelty not the church just some of the people's lack of understanding in the church. This is a problem that is faced daily and why it is so necessary to be understanding to the needs of others, by listening and always showing that you care God Bless Piglit

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 24, 2012

Absolutely Piglit. It's a social problem and it is so hurtful which makes matters so much worse.
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 2, 2012

There are laws against discrimination but unless more people start sharing their experiences those that practice unlawful behavior win!

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 28, 2012

Are you doing better? Just thinking of you 🙂
Rox

china

Posted by @china, Mar 29, 2012

I cannot image what you experienced but you are not s freak and I care about you and your feelings.

Posted by Anonymous-3f3b8acb, Feb 22, 2012

We need to stand united and expose each and every bigot. We are human beings with so much to offer but we are silenced and marginalized by people with deeper issues than we have.
Hold your head up high despite how hurt they make us feel because there is something out there for us much greater than stigma and discrimination...........Faith that we too are worthy will prevail!

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anon27855854

Posted by @anon27855854, Feb 29, 2012

Hi Roxie 43,
I agree. I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Feb 29, 2012

Hi Power
Thank you for reading my post and identifying. I hope all is well with you.
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 28, 2012

How are you doing ...power? Hope all is improving
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 5, 2012

The fear of stigma and discrimination often isolates and keeps people from getting the help they need ....

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Mar 5, 2012

Hi Roxie, I couldn't agree with you more. I feel that when people are discriminated against that it makes them very wary to be outspoken, and it does make them feel isolated. This unfortunatley is sad but true. It is such a pity that people are made to feel this way by insensitive human beings. It's such a pity that there aren't more caring souls in the world. Take Care Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 8, 2012

Always remember that God is good & we are worthy because he created all of us.
Have a blessed day,
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 12, 2012

Adolescents, some, can be cruel calling other's retarded and gay. Witnessed this at the super market and just shook my head.
Grateful my daughters are nothing like that.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 20, 2012

I was told by a friend that I am allowing the enemy to win. She told me that I should not own other peoples issues. I have known this for some time but for some reason when she called me and said it for the 100th time I thought about long and hard and she's right.
She said some people are good and some could not begin to show another human being any type of empathy because they are cold and in denial of how horrible they feel about themselves.
Another friend who runs a drug abuse program wrote me and said "Girl, don't you know racism, differential treatment and stigma never went away"? This pill was hard to swallow but I can understand what she means.
I don't like seeing people as enemies, except for 1 person, but the truth is we all have to continually protect ourselves because we just don't know others intentions until proven otherwise.
Then, Delia, spoke about forgiveness and letting go and she is so on point with her insight and advice. I need to let go and stay away from people that do not uplift my spirit even if it means that down the road I make some profound changes.
All said, no matter how good you try to be to others there will always be at least one person who will take out their unhappiness on others.
I have had my share of pain and unhappiness, so this is not an excuse for the behavior, but perhaps I need to have more empathy even for those that trespass because there has to be something really going on with a person who intentionally hurts others.
Here's to learning how to let go, move forth and praying for those with more internal pain than I have.
Rox....

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china

Posted by @china, Mar 25, 2012

Peoplr always have opinions about what you should do. Looking at a situation like yours is not about winning. Do what you need and follow your heart.
you at not in a contest and moreover not a loser.

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Mar 25, 2012

Amen! Thanks

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Apr 15, 2012

Oh girl, thankyou for the important insight! I too tend to want to solve everyone's sadness and make a difference. It's one reason I wanted my whole life to be a nurse. This past year has been so hard. being thrown out of college because I was having treatments three times a week at that time. My Mom had passed on a couple months earlier, and I was pretty out of it. People looked at me like I was the worst mother and person they'd ever met. I was so angry at that time at those people. My pastor told me that though it was tough, I should try to remember that those people didn't know me or my story, and that I should try to forgive and keep in mind that God knew my situation and so did my mom. That was hard to take, but he was right, I guess. It's still hard to take , more sometimes than others. Anyway, I do still try to help others whenever I can. My best wishes to you, and my best prayers to all my friends here. Love Lisa4

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 15, 2012

Lisa,
You can always go back to school but taking care of yourself first is very important. Schools do have departments with ADA accommodationd but you need to be in a better place
Don't worry dear you'll get there. I graduated with a master's in my 40's so it's never to late to accomplish our goals.
It's ok to put yourself first.
Sincerely your friend,
Rox

lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Apr 15, 2012

It's hard to go against a lifetime of being taught that I don't matter in a sea of take care of everyone first. I am trying to learn. I am trying so hard just to get from day to day without giving up. I am so tired of trying. Thank you for just being my friend. That is also something I've hardly ever had. Sorry, I'm just so down right now. Lisa4

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 15, 2012

Hi lisa. It is hard at times sometimes days are harder than others, I know that you are tired, but I am so very proud of you for being so strong. You do matter to me and others in our community and have become our dear fried. Just remember Sweetie, that tommorrow is always another day. Just keep on looking at your beautiful daffodils and tulips. Imagine beautiful butterflies dancing through them and you we become uplifted. God bless Big hug Always here for you Piglit

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lisa4

Posted by @lisa4, Apr 16, 2012

Thank you Piglit! I appreciate your visual of the daffies and tulips with the butterflies. It does make me feel a bit better picturing that. This week has been a real bad one and I admit that sometimes I really want to just end this struggle. My kids and my great hubby are all that keep me going- and now my new friends here. I hope that you are doing well and that you are enjoying your own daffies and tulips. Take care hon and thanks again! Love and hugs from Lisa4!

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 16, 2012

I'm always here for you Lisa as are your other friends. Glad that I helped to make you feel a little better. I always find that if you can focus on something lovely it helps.Stay strong my sweet, you are doing so well and I'm so proud of you . You take care too Will talk soon Love and hugs back Piglitx0

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 13, 2012

Please sign my friends petition at change.org! Momentum is trying to bring much needed attention to stigma which is very hurtful and leads to: bullying, discrimination, workplace violence and much more.
Let's join this very important act of courage against behavior that hurts human kind.
In solidarity
Rox

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 18, 2012

Please be kind to one another despite what type of day you are having because we need to be part of the solution not part of the problems.
Enjoy your day all,
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 21, 2012

couldn't agree with you more, we do need to look after each other

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 21, 2012

I should have posted this discussion to a broader audience because people are stigmatized all the time and this is not limited to mental illness.
Stigmatization can be hurtful regardless of the reason.....
Be good to yourselves all.....
Rox

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piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 21, 2012

so true Rox it is very widespread over all sectors of communities

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 22, 2012

I know it's broad and hurtful regardless of the bias ..

china

Posted by @china, Apr 23, 2012

Yes obesity race gender drugs culture belief
start another 1.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 23, 2012

Anyone can still respond because stigma is stigma in any form it's manifested in.
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, Apr 23, 2012

so true Rox

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lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, Apr 27, 2012

Hi Roxie
Stigma? oh Lord I could write a book from both sides of the fence(patient and provider). The worst stigma I have ever seen is the stigma of the parent who is also mentally ill.

When my X stole my child and then sexually abused her, child protective services took custody of her. Although I had never been charged, nor ever even tried to abuse my child they kept her from me for 3.5 years. All because I attempted suicide 1 time and was hospitalized 1 time.

It was so bad that I stopped telling my shrink and therapist what was going on with my depression. Thank God I have a masters in social work and 20 years experience in mental health, I treated myself by getting medications overseas. That way there was nothing in my medical record to stigmatize me about. That is all over for me, finally, however it isn't over for my daughter.

The stigmatization of my mental illness caused my daughter to be shuffled between 8 foster placements between the age of 24 months and 4 years, they then found another stable foster placement for the final year. My baby is now 2 years behind in school and has reactive attachment disorder. She also had psychosocial dwarfism but is catching up finally.

Stigma is poison.

LizKat

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 27, 2012

Hi
I'm so sorry that stigma and discrimination have hurt yout daughter and you. It's a horrible thing to experience I know and even though you did what you had to do for the love of your child it's a shame that society allows such human suffering that you suffered in silence. You sound like a very strong woman and you should be proud of yourself.
It's sickening that a child molester was deemed safer than you. Luckily, your daughter is young and with the proper services and your love she will thrive. Have faith that you will both be ok. Stigma is demoralizing and action's by others as a result is hurtful.
I am writing a book. I have been writing for year's. I had no choice in becoming a writer because as a child even my laughter bothered some so I learned how to cope by writing. In school writing a thesis was like writing a letter when others were struggling. You should consider putting your story in a text because the more stories are told I'm hoping the better future generations will have because of us.
Thank you for sharing your story with me. Thank you for being brave! I hope we can become friends and motivate one another to continue healing and overcoming our societal obstacles.
Have a nice day,
Roxie

lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, Apr 27, 2012

Hi Roxie

Would you be willing to share about your book? I think we will become friends 🙂
LizKat

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 27, 2012

I have been writing about the impact depression, ptsd and anxiety have had in my life. Then, the past year and how retraumatization could have ended my life. I might just try for two instead of one because I have so much material, thoughts and experiences both personally and professionally.
My discussion on "You do not define who I am" is where I would like to begin. I think that there are many women out there with similar stories who are ashamed to speak up for varying reasons but our stories need to be told because there are a lot of misconceptions that need clarification.
First, I have to deal with my case of human cruelty and once that's over I can focus on my memoir.
Take care,
Rox

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lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, Apr 30, 2012

Hi Roxie
I have no writing skill when it comes to book type things. Now ask me to fill out your disability form and I bat 100%!
LizKat

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 30, 2012

Someone else can polish it up for you. There needs to be more books on our real stories versus research. I think the more we tell our stories the better equipped young professionals will be. A regular text book, although educational, is not the same at first hand accounts. Believe in yourself dear. Over the years, I simply looked at my writings as journal entries which is therapeutic.
Enjoy your day....
Rox

lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, Apr 30, 2012

Hi Roxie
You are a sweetie.
As I am fairly new here I have a question for you: would it be a bother to others if we talked 'shop', like about NASW and other rather specific topics? If so can we e-mail?
LizKat

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, Apr 30, 2012

Hi
You can send me private emails under the friends messages. I wouldn't be bothered at all. 🙂

lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, May 2, 2012

OK! now I am off to figure out how to e-mail......

littledreamer

Posted by @littledreamer, May 22, 2012

I totally agree. I a lot of research books are done by people who haven't experienced a mental illness. They don't know what it feels like. I think that doctors can't really treat a mental illness unless that really know what its like.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 2, 2012

Hoe are you LizKat? Isn't it a shame that we have to deal with all these external issues when we already have enough on our plates? I hope all is well.
Rox

China likes this
lizkat

Posted by @lizkat, May 2, 2012

Hi Roxie
I am doing well. Thank you for asking. I am having trouble negotiating this site in that I can't figure out how to find posts or even be notified if there is a new post so If I don't respond that's why!

I just closed the book on a very stressful issue in my life and I do feel really good. Long story short, I have an adopted sister who never bonded with my Mom and has done evil, vindictive things to me my whole life out of jealousy as I am the only biological child. She continues to this day partnering with my X that abused my baby trying to help him get custody. ( just in case anyone is wondering because I would wonder, we did have a custody battle going on but I was not the one to initiate the abuse charges as I didn't have any visitation rights, his own sisters turned him in)
I stopped having direct contact with her some 10 years ago but my parents were still alive and provided a link of sorts. My Mom was aware of the issues and respected my boundaries of not discussing me with her. My Father only did so because my Mom made him. My Mom passed away 6 months ago. We had been living with her and my Dad so that I could care for them. Now that she is gone, Dad will not respect my wishes and tells my sister everything, which is a lot as we lived with him. I tried everything, even went to counseling with him in the effort to be able to continue living together and caring for him. He refused so we moved out. We decided that he would not have the information of where we live. He has my phone number and I check on him in person 1-2 times a week. This way, he and I need not worry about keeping information from my sister and I don't have to get mad at him or, most important, placing my baby at risk.
I have not felt this safe in a long, long time. I am surprised by just how much of my energy was sapped by the perpetual background vigilance. I suspect that your current stressful issues of the court case are similar and that when it is over you will feel a similar safety as I do now.Any estimates as to when your court case will be resolved?

BTW, I can't find your post about your Mom. How is she doing?

How are you today?
LizKat

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 2, 2012

Hi Lizkat. So sorry that you have had so much to deal with and still are. Just wanted you to know that I am here if you need to talk. Stay strong and keep the positive vibes going. Take care Piglit

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roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 4, 2012

I am so sorry about your trying times. We have to have faith, although this too is tested, that life has to get less complicated and more fulfilling. You and many of us have survived so much that I am hoping we get a non-stop flight to heaven :-).
Yes, this case is taking a lot out of me and just when I think the worst is over I relive the memories and fell like hell all over again. I don't know how long things will take but I am praying that a resolution will come sooner rather than later because i think I have dealt with enough already. Hang in there honey and sometimes a little distance can be good especially if people are not respecting your wishes.
Sincerely,
Roxie

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 5, 2012

Stigma is poison ... what a great way to explain it. It's toxic and it's hurtful. What can be difficult to comprehend is that no one is perfect unless the person is a narcissistic and has a grandiose sense of superiority. Denial ...
Rox

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china

Posted by @china, May 9, 2012

Im scared to tell anyone about my depression 4 this reason so I tend 2 suffer in silence. Good discussion.

miker45840

Posted by @miker45840, May 9, 2012

I am with ya on this one.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 10, 2012

Hi all,
I don't think people walk around with a bumper sticker on their forehead that states look at me I have a mental illness. I think one problem among many is the lack of confidentiality. I'm not ashamed in anyway, shape or form but like someone posted "stigma is poison". And, when some folks are aware of genetic information they make judgments. It's a hypocracy really. Are people stigmatized for having diabetes, arthritis etc.? No, but the words alone "mental illness" are stigmatizing but we didn't create these illnesses we are simply unfortunate that we have them.
Every human being has something! No one is perfect but the indifference when it comes to mental illness is disheartening.
Sweet dreams my friends,
Rox

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littledreamer

Posted by @littledreamer, May 22, 2012

Sometimes I try not to think of my mental illness as something unfortunate. I like to think of it as a positive because one day when I become a doctor I will understand what some people go through and I will be able to help them.

littledreamer

Posted by @littledreamer, May 22, 2012

I agree. Lots of doctors see I struggled with anorexia and depression and automatically think that because I am on the small side for my age that I have relapsed. It drives me nuts!

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 4, 2012

A wonderful coworker told me yesterday "Girl! don't you know that stigma, racism and discrimination is worse now than ever?". I guess I would like to think that one day we will have a world with just good people in it. That's the optimist in me and it's not a reality...unfortunately...
Rox

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china

Posted by @china, May 7, 2012

I like ur coworker. I like u2 but ur coworker keeps it real. Nothing has changed we have the haves and have nots. The haves think they're better. Always be like that until minorities increase and the haves become the minority. I hear it's happening. Can't wait 2C that! Not all r bad but the one's that r are disgusting.

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 7, 2012

Its not always about the majority vs the minority. Some times it's just blatant disregard for human beings ...
Take care,
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 7, 2012

so true Rox

joanneo

Posted by @joanneo, May 8, 2012

Goodnight my dear friends I am tired and in pain see u all tomorrow. Jodi

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 8, 2012

I'm so sorry that you suffered growing up and as an adult. It's amazing how much we go through without what many times feels like uninterrupted pain and despair. Still, something in me, the optimist believes that we will all finally have some inner tranquility.
continue being the strong woman that you are my friend. And, no matter how the world may treat you..always remember to be kind to yourself.
Hugs
Rox

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 8, 2012

Sweet dreams my friend. Hoping you feel better when you awake.
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 8, 2012

night night sweetie hope you feel a little better in the morning
Big hug Piglit x0

roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 8, 2012

Sweet dreams my dear Piglit...
Rox

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 9, 2012

i.m still awake its lunchtiem here lol

findingdatruth

Posted by @findingdatruth, May 13, 2012

Sad but true!

China likes this
roxie43

Posted by @roxie43, May 13, 2012

I know ..

piglit

Posted by @piglit, May 13, 2012

me too

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