Spouse with cognitive problems and finances

Do you have a financial adviser or social worker?

Yes, I know I need to talk to a social worker. It’s a mystery as to know what is ahead of me. I am sincerely grateful to all the help I receive from the kind and caring people on this network.&

I need to find a geriatric social worker too. The financial picture for us is pretty dim and eventually we will have to go on Medicaid. It depends on when we run out of money, and with doctors and meds,
it could be sooner than we think!
Let me know when you decide to contact a social worker. I have a referral from our attorney for an attorney who has resources for us but need to find out the cost first. Probably a social worker also has resources and that is my second step after a lawyer. I’ve been putting this off but I need to call and get going on this journey.
Prayers for your family.

I agree with you - the helpful caring people on this site have given me support and advice I would not find anywhere else. I have all kinds of fear on this Dementia journey, but knowing I have this site helps to keep me on the right path. Thank all of you for your love and concern. God’s blessings to you all.

No, I have neither a financial advisor or a social worker.

Your county Area Agency on Aging services are free- they will have a Medicaid counsellor who can inform you as to the basic regulations, give you a "ballpark" idea of how the state will divide your assets, what will be set aside for your support (all states have rules against "spousal impoverishment") what the 5 year "look back" is, confirmation that you will not be made to leave your house, etc.
An Elder Law attorney, which does cost, will guide you to Medicaid planning that protects assets for you as much as the state allows. This is especially important if you have 401Ks, stocks, investments of any kind.
The Area Agencies on Aging do this all the time as any person entering a nursing home, even if private pay, will be expected,
at some point,to require Medicaid payment. They are tasked with verifying that the person entering the SNF did indeed require nursing home level of care at the time of admission.
The Area Agency people can also tell you what assistive livings and what nursing homes accept Medicaid. He will be more attractive for admission if you have at least 3 months private pay available. If they hint at 6, just go, "Hmm", they can't legally require it.
Picking facilities that accept Medicaid will cut down on the number of moves your husband needs to make as he declines.
I used to work at a county nursing home. Many days, 10:30-11 am brought the buses from nearby SNFs, which did not accept Medicaid, with the next poor soul (s) who had exhausted their savings- staying past 11 am would skip to a new billing day, so out the door with you!

Forgot to add- many states have a "Waiver" program, through the county Area Agency on Aging, which pays for additional services in the home, with the intent of helping people stay at home longer. If by any chance your husband is a combat veteran, the VA also provides home services, the Area Agency on Aging or your county Veterans Affairs office can give you all the info. If he has a 60% VA disability, he is eligible for a VA nursing home when needed.

I will be contacting a social worker very soon.

Has been a rough Fall with Bill getting weaker by the day. In Oct within 3 weeks he went from 182 to 162 pounds - is skin and bones. Doesn't want to eat more than a few bites at a time. Ended up in the hospital twice. Said he won't go again.
One assessment said he should be on hospice but the doctor on call that night said he should wait (this was a hospice group). Has gotten worse since then. Major bathroom issues. The bathroom abuts our bedroom and his 'movie room' - in other words, a very short distance. Traversing it has him so exhausted that he almost passes out before he can either get to the bed or his chair.
He was scheduled for the 4 hour dementia testing next Monday but cancelled for the moment as he isn't up to getting there much less waiting and then doing a four hour test. At this point the test could be a moot point.

He has a doctor's appointment on the 12th and I'm hoping it can be done by Zoom or Facetime. Although he does put on a great show for doctors and visitors. Which doesn't help getting him help! He can't understand why they won't give him pain pills when he denies having any pain (last few days stomach pain). He also can't understand why his hospital stays didn't 'fix' him like new.

He keeps asking me what is wrong - sometimes admitting he thinks he is dying. I don't know how to answer him as he does not want me agreeing with him on the dying. I just try to listen and be there. Don't know what else to do.

Thank you so much for all of your information.
I have made an appointment with a specialist in the field of Dementia/Alzheimer’s referred by our neurologist but on a wait list as it is on February 1st. Hopefully we can get an earlier appointment.
So much going on now with the Holidays and doctors and tests that I want to contact a social worker in January instead. I have read about the new meds for Alzheimer’s and there can be side affects that may be bad but further testing is going on. These meds are not completely approved because testing has not been going on that long.
Happy Holidays to you!