Spouse with cognitive problems and finances

We use an Eldercare Attorney and it was not anywhere near the amounts you quoted, in all truth, he has actually saved us money and helped guide us to more benefits that are available to us. I would call several elders care attorneys and ask questions, share financial concerns, etc. Some may offer a free consult. Good luck!

Thank you for this advice!
What I was talking about is an Elder Law attorney, but now I know from you is there is an Elder Care attorney. How did you find your attorney?

I would think Elder Law and Elder Care are probably the same thing. Actually, our doctor recommended him when I asked if we needed to make any changes legally. He has an excellent reputation as a person; I just did not know his specialty was this type of law. He helped us with wills, power of attorney, setting up a plan if I die first, told us ways to protect our estate incase of an accident, etc. He thought of everything and his goal is to protect us and our assets. It actually gave us a much needed sense of security. Hope you can find someone that will truly care. This disease has so many things to think about that it was nice to have someone with experience and knowledge of the law thinking for us. We have had to use the power of attorney a few times already. Best of wishes to you in finding the right person that truly cares.

Hi again,
There is a big difference between an Elder Law lawyers and Elder Care lawyers. Elder Law is for the caregiver and is very pricey and Elder Care is for the patient, which is pro bono,

I just checked and ours is Elder Law, but he was very reasonable and thorough. He even set up a trust for my hubby if something happens to me first so that others can take care of him and not misuse our funds. He also included different specifications if I am incapicated for a period of time or if I pass away first. I hope you can find one in your town or nearby that values serving people over making money. God Bless!

I wanted to add that the power of attorney has been invaluable. He also transferred the house and set up separate checking accounts in my name only incase hubby was involved in an accident. We were told that with a diagnosis of LBD that even if an accident was not his fault that he could actually be blamed and we could lose everything we have worked so hard for. Even though he is not driving that day may come where he "forgets" that he is not to drive and goes for a spin.....so our lawyer seems to have thought of every scenario possible and I have only mentioned a few things he thought of. I do highly recommend this type of protection; it might be costly but if the worst happens it may prove to be very cost wise!

My husband is a multiple myeloma patient and now suffers chemo brain. He is taking a targeted therapy Kyprolis and is sure to take it long term. Wish he could get off it but don’t know what to expect if he does.

Ours is Elder Law, it’s for the husband and wife. The lawyer gets everything in good order to protect you both, no matter who is the person with dementia. Ours has cost around $3000 so far. We’ll need more help in the future when Medicaid has to be planned for.

Thank you for the clarification.

I too am having same issues with money and bills. I am 59, my husband is 66, we have been married for 5 years-both of us were widowers before-and he has had Parkinsons for 15 years. Recently he has been in a sharp decline and money is one of his biggest anxiety points. I made sure that I had all of the bills coming through our joint account-which he doesn't remember exists-he has access to only his investment accounts. We too are going to see an elder law attorney to make sure that his funds are correctly set up and that there are safeguards in place when he is in a "sell it all, the world is ending" mode. From one day to the other he forgets our banking set up so we go through the discussion often. Since his decline is new, I am struggling greatly with his fast mental status changes. I find it easier to agree with whatever he is saying, take the wind out of the argument and then do what is right when he is napping...it sounds a bit devious but a lot less anxiety ridden. I also don't follow it all of the time and let my emotions go-bad idea. He is starting not to remember who I am..."you are my wife, but I don't know who you are." UGH.