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Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign: Does labelling things help?
We are all being challenged to be very creative in response to our loved one's behaviors.
I have put up signs in just about every room as guidance for my husband.
There's a sign on the thermostat with the temps we keep the house at day and night. There's a sign on the dishwasher with directions for use, and I taped off the buttons we don't use and labeled them, 'Don't touch' because I had to keep resetting with the correct washing preferences every time he changed them.
The kitchen has a sign reminding him what our dog can't eat. I just bought a white board for the kitchen to track what he eats, since he sometimes has gluttonous behaviors and eats a meal twice because he doesn't remember eating.
There's a breakfast guidance visual showing him pictures of a cereal bowl, with directions to thaw his fruit before putting cereal on it, and quantities for milk and cereal (with photos of those products). Sometimes he forgets to refer to his guidance visual and eats cereal with frozen fruit, or doubles or triples recommended amounts.
In the dining room there's a sign I asked him to make himself (as an attempt to have him internalize the info; ha!), stating he can no longer take walks alone (he was trespassing and peeping in people's windows). I made that sign when he kept telling me he was going for a walk, alone. So, I made a sign that says he no longer walks by himself and needs to have a walking buddy, so far it's just me.
There are several nutritional signs helping us stay on track for the recommended Mediterranean diet.
On the bathroom mirror is a post-it note from his dental hygienist reminding him what areas to focus on, and one demonstrating how to clean his ears in the shower. There's also a love note from me on the mirror, our only happy sign!
I put labels on our bath towel racks, because he was either using mine and leaving me with a wet one, or putting his wet one on top of my dry one.
In the living room are signs for me regarding positive coping strategies, and a reminder to be positive.
I could go on, but wanted to write a bit about how this aspect of our lives has changed.
When our children were learning to read I labeled so many things in our home. I feel like I'm coming full circle, or something?
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Have to pick the battles to concentrate on. Some things aren’t worth the upset, or aggravation that would result. Many things are easier to let go, and do myself. With the problems that already exist, keeping peace is worth some minor inconvenience.
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8 ReactionsMine is still making notes, tons if notes and tablets everywhere… I call it “the beautiful mind” notes. Sometimes he forgets the notes were made…
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1 ReactionI know how frustrating it is that your loved one can't always remember things even with notes as reminders...but imagine how he must feel as well. I went through the same thing with my husband. I had to keep reminding myself that he was doing his best but that things would only get worse. Sooo.... i would either help him or just do it myself because it wasn't worth all the frustration on both of us, especially when I would see him struggle with even what I thought were the simplest tasks. I had to keep reminding myself that they weren't simple tasks anymore. And maybe him not doing what the note says is because he doesn't remember how to...or afraid ....etc. The many challenges we face as caregivers are just that...challenging and overwhelming and at times frustrating, but i kept reminding myself that no one asks for this journey but we have to help our loved one every step of the way so they don't feel that their world is completely dark.
I will keep you in my prayers!
Strength Peace and Hugs to you
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8 ReactionsI have tried to get my mother to write things down but she just won't do it, so I just remind her. It can get frustrating for me and my mother but I just remind her that her short term memory is not very good (mine either, actually). This is a very difficult thing to face, but one day at a time.
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3 ReactionsI tried to be sensitive to my loved one’s feelings when I realized how it would make me feel if I kept being told “I’ve told you before.” My mom couldn’t resist doing it with my dad. I think she thought it made him feel better that she had informed him of things, but it actually didn’t help because he didn’t believe her. With my cousin and dad I told them the 10th time the same as the first time. If my cousin got frustrated early on, I’d just tell her no one has a perfect memory. It’s ok. And, the same when incontinence came…no one has a perfect bladder. Eventually, she wasn’t aware she had poor memory or incontinence.
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4 ReactionsI think writing notes may help initially but as dementia progresses, the ability to a.) notice the sign, b.) the ability to comprehend what the note says and c.) the ability to translate the meaning into action is failing because the person has brain failure, not just memory as many people believe. Dementia has different stages as it progresses. I needed to know what is likely to happen in each stage. I highly recommend taking the online courses offered by Teepa Snow at Positive Approach to Care. This lady gets it. She is all about how we can care for our loved ones in a positive loving manner. I have taken the 1st and 2nd courses and will be taking the 3rd and 4th in December. I have learned so much that has helped me understand what is happening to my husband's brain. For instance I learned that dementia patients often lose their peripheral vision. My husband has and I have to be directly in font of him for him to notice me and listen to what I say. These courses are designed to help you work with what is still there in the person with dementia. Best thing I ever did FOR MYSELF on this journey of dementia caregiving. God bless you all, you are all in my prayers.
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13 Reactions@judimahoney -I am taking notes. You have such good ideas. I am seeing changes in my husband recently, and will need to make signs. Thank you, and bless you on this journey. I learn so much from folks on here! 💕
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1 Reaction@ocdogmom
Hi. I took one of Teepa's PAC classes this week, and she is great and so helpful.
I am happy the notes are working for now while he can still read/comprehend.
Thank you.
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1 ReactionCongrats on educating yourself during a very difficult personal time. Appreciate your post very much. Are these courses offered here?@ocdogmom
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1 Reaction@ellesea01
Hi, I live in Oregon and take classes from Oregon Care Partners. They have PAC-certified instructors.
I also take classes through the Alzheimers Association.
So far, all classes have been free.
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