Senior anxiety: How do you manage new on-set anxiety as you age?

What's the matter with you people? HAVE YOU EVER LOST A CHILD??? no, YOU HAVEN'T or you wouldnt be telling ME I should be MUCH HAPPIER TWELVE YEARS LATER. Myi "chances to meet the world out there"??? I've been to Europe FIVE TIMES since 2012, spent the entire month of September in 2014 IN ITALY and then went to France for a week. TWO CRUISES one through the Panama Canal. I learned to RIDE A HORSE, got thrown so stopped. I did VOLUNTEER WORK for a church. I went to THERAPY I took MEDICATION I tried to socialize with the people here not one of whom has anything close to my level of education nor my sophistication, they're small town people, I grew up in Manhattan.

I've owned TWO HOUSES. I had a RADIO TALK SHOW. I was highly respected in my field of expertise. I haven't sat around DOING NOTHING. There are no people "around me", they're unable to connect with me and I with them, we have nothing in common except for our species.

Where do you get off judging me? HOW DARE YOU consider it even remotely possible to understand what it's like for a woman to have LOST HER DAUGHTER? Probably better to keep ignorant opinions to oneself.

I’m not judging you or anyone.. just started this discussion to perhaps get some nice feedback about my morning fears or anxiety.. I’m just worried about some things every now and then ( more often now, than then) and was hoping for some nice interchange…It is good here.. but nothing is 💯 right or wrong 😑 I am just trying to communicate to the group my own experience with morning anxiety..

@pvctom2021, this is a great discussion to have started and I've enjoyed reading the helpful suggestions and replies. As we age, we have to fight harder to reduce isolation. As you mentioned, you've lost some members of your closest social circle (band-mates). That's hard to replace. I'm glad that you can still play the guitar. Making music with and for others is a special gift. I'm also a musician and my first teacher was a cornet player who was 80+ at the time and he still taught young people AND played once a week at a senior's home. Yup, at 80.

I find that small things start to contribute to nervousness in my case. Not necessarily anxiety, but unsettling just the same. For example, deteriorating eye sight and no longer feeling as sure of my footing, especially going down stairways.

You mention that you wake up with a sense of anxiety, worry, dread pehaps, but then it subsides once you're up and about. I recently changed by morning routine to help combat these feelings. Now I get up and put on my walking clothes first thing rather than lounging in my comfortable clothes with a coffee. I get out a go for a walk soon after getting up. Heck, I already have the clothes on, I might as well go, right? That morning light helps boost the mood and sets me right for the day - not 100% guaranteed but close.

What is your morning routine? Do you find your thoughts prevent you from getting started?

Thank you..🙏 my morning routine is getting my meds together and making some coffee..then I try to think about what has to be done ✅ if anything..I’m still fairly active and I usually go to the mall and walk everyday that my wife or myself doesn’t have an appointment with a specialist..my wife is going through a rough go of it and this is also causing a lot of morning anxiety and PVCS (which is why I’m also following the heart rhythm group)…I just finished playing some Dorian scale improv on my guitar 🎸 you seem like a very nice person who gives time on this site and I thank you 😊 please keep in touch…these forums are very helpful … I’m seeing a therapist on the 20th for some hopeful advise.. 🙏

You bring up an important consideration-sadness when one doesn't "fit". I've always thought of a retirement community as a place where there would be other widows (now why doesn't that sound like a fun goup?) with whom socialize; go out for lunch or attend concerts and movies. I guess it's also important to be one's own anchor to cope with living situations you can't control. Maybe we can start a long distance coffee break online. Usually I talk to my dogs but I suspect I'm starting to bore them.
malo

I considered starting a small group living home a few years back. I had two friends, both divorced, and my house was arranged such that we'd each have a floor to ourselves when we needed to avoid each other; no shared bathrooms either. I've moved since then to be closer to my daughter and her family. Perhaps small group weekends vacations are a possibility.

malo

In the end, WE alone who feel alone and want company of those who would find Our company enjoyable, have to Find each other. This is how students get to have student friends, children with children, and Chess players and families with young children. Since seniors having gone thru all these life phases we must know more than any other group, right?

Social; connection is crucial to health, physical or mental. The Surgeon General Murthy whose uncle had succumbed to suicide out of the crushing pain of loneliness, has this to say: "Unlike many other illnesses, what I find profoundly empowering about addressing loneliness is that the ultimate solution to loneliness lies in each of us. We can be the medicine that each other needs. We can be the solution other people crave. We are all doctors and we are all healers. The question is, do we have the courage to speak up and to stand up for others, to reach out to them when we feel they may be in need. https://qz.com/1420602/feeling-lonely-vivek-murthy-says-to-get-out-of-your-head-and-help-someone-else/

Last week I tried. first time in my life of eight decades, origami to meet some inquisitive playful folks. I take part in mental health zoom meetups to share my knowledge and find friends. I've plan for Salvation Army seniors social later this week (and origami @library). One can't help but try. Like a Tantalus, in the sea of people we cannot connect with the other, thirsting for connection?

@colleenyoung

I just returned from Ft Belvoir Hospital where I received skin cancer sprays on my face and was advised to use chemo cream to prevent another mohs procedure on forehead and ear….grateful for this care and the wonderful forums….🙏

Thanks for the post and your
reply….it is hard to fit when just a few years make a big difference..four years ago, I had band members one who I had known since 2010… and peripheral acquaintances..now they have all gone…I find myself thinking perhaps too much when I first wake up so I get going…I will walk the mall today and walk it by myself…I thought your coffee on line group was funny 😄 and at least now I have a group of folks that I can hear through the words
and I can relate to them…this morning , the early morning cortisol arising was very strong…had to get moving..but love to have this group to come back to….👍🍀

Very interesting topic and one I too have started to look into. My husband is having issues and I may soon have to put him in assisted living or a nursing home. The last thing he did was to start a fire in the kitchen because, since he hurts a lot he doesn't always focus on what he is doing, and caught a potholder on fire. Didn't realize he did it and left kitchen!! I smelled something burning and caught it totally ablaze and was able to take care of the incident before it got worse. We do have a large area on kitchen ceiling now from smoke.