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Taking husband out of memory care for daughter's visit.
Seeking input about taking husband out of memory community for family holiday at a hotel/resort. Personal good or bad experiences doing this? Please share.
He has been in memory community for two months, after being hospitalized after 911 call for diagnosis and medication management. He was discharged to a memory facility as an unsafe to home discharge. Obviously his residency it will be longer by the upcoming Christmas holidays. Our daughter lives in a distant state and always comes home for the Christmas holidays. At this time, he said he didn't want to have our daughter (35yo) see him in prison, lock-down, incarceration, etc. He has anosognosia and fluctuates in cognitive function. When in higher cognitive mode, he insists he shouldn't be where he is. I take him out of the facility now for church, lunch, various appointments, rides in the country. So far he has returned to the facility without horrible results.
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@yakkyzak Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! You ask a very difficult question because SO much depends on you, your husband, your daughter and other family members at this family reunion. Also, have you asked the care facility if they have any requirements for his leaving? Just a few things to think about . I’m going to let the members of this discussion group answer the majority of your questions. They are the ones with experience.
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2 ReactionsWish there was a simple answer yet there isn't, as Becky stated before me. Everyone responds a little different and progression varies. I used to take my Mom out but it became to hard for her - too much stimulation which would end up making her worse. I've had out of town family visit and we all sat in a bit of a private area in the memory care. You know him best. Just remember, it changes, fluctuates, gets better, worse or different. Hang in there, hope you find support.
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7 ReactionsI like you wish there was a simple answer. The thing that concerns me (from what you wrote) is his diagnosis "as an unsafe to home discharge" suggesting that applies to a hotel or anything offsite. I know this isn't the same thing but can you do Zoom with him at the facility so he can tap in and see the family but not leave where he is. OR find a special place in the facility he's in where your daughter can surprise him and come visit. That takes him out of his room, into an open more favorable area, where he doesn't view it, as a "prison-lockdown." Best of luck whatever you decide.
Best, Karla
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7 Reactions@yakkyzak
It is most likely in your husband’s best interest to not leave the memory place and then return. That makes things more difficulty for a person with memory/dementia issues. Better to have a celebration at the facility where he is, in my opinion. Most facilities have space for family events.
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6 ReactionsThank you so much for your input.
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2 Reactions@kjc48 - thanks for taking time to reply.
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1 Reaction@tracidw thank you for sharing your experiences.
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1 Reaction@yakkyzak Best of luck with whatever you decide. There's never any easy answer here....just a group of people that care and want to help in any way we can. Thanks for thanking me! And thanks for sharing.
We learn from each other.
Best, Karla
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