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Repetitive questions
My husband has MCI but carries two alzheimers genes so we know where we're headed. He's mostly normal, intelligent and engaged except for his short term memory retention. He seems to have taken another step down the stairway to memory loss and is slightly worse in the last few days.
I was hoping he'd just level off and we'd stay where we are. Makes me sad and nervous about the future. No solution I know, just sharing my experience.
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Ah, yes—the hearing aid thing adding to all the other stress! I can identify with this! Most of the time my husband won't even wear his. I finally started putting them on him, and so far, he hasn't objected. I wish I'd done this sooner. Trouble is, one of them has an extreme amount of static that can be heard from across the room, so we need to take it to get it fixed. That's an hour and a half drive one-way, though, so it will be a while. Today he's just wearing one. Better than nothing. And, like you, I hate when I shout so he'll hear me and I sound irritated. On my good days I can shout without sounding irritated, but on my bad days (and today is one of them), my irritation comes through.
As for sleep, I started sleeping on the couch while taking care of another dog who we were providing hospice care for (not the one who just died, but the one before). She had to go out 1 - 3 times a night. I sleep much better on the couch, so I kept doing it. Even before that, we had separate bedrooms for a few years. My husband was the one who moved to the guest room back then because of yet another dog who required nighttime care. He seemed to like having his own room—and it looks like a teenager's room. 🙂 Clothes everywhere, skis in the corner, etc. Messy, but it's his and was like that before he started having dementia. Fortunately, he sleeps soundly so far. And he goes to bed early, while I sit up on my couch/bed and read in the quiet. I really look forward to that every night. I need it.
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2 ReactionsMy husband threatens to climb in bed with me from time to time. I absolutely don't want that. I need my alone time and I need to sleep. He insists on tucking me in and comes in and out of the bedroom two or three times before he finally heads off to sleep himself. I find these interruptions annoying but I guess I can put up with them since I'm not doing a lot of the other things he wants. I'm sorry this is a bad day for you.
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2 ReactionsI am so sorry for your loss! 🙁 I've been going thru grief due to my husband's dementia and he's still with me. ( i.e. the grief of him not understanding me or me him, his angry outbursts, him being orally and physically combative, etc) and recently I had to make the VERY hard decision to place him in a dementia care facility because it was getting to be tooo much for me to take care of him and I needed help. I thought I would feel a sense of relief, but now I'm feeling the grief of relief. The closest facility I found for his needs is 35 mins away, which isn't far at all really, and I visit him 2 or 3 times a week. And I understand what you mean when you say her death greatly outweighs the inconvenience, the exhaustion and all the tasks and questions that goes with all the caregiving, because I kind of miss doing those things... even if it was inconvenient. But on the flipside, I'm grateful that someone else is now taking care of him and I can just enjoy him when I go to visit.
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