Repetitive questions

Sometimes life goes along quietly and things feel normal. Suddenly a regression happens..and all the behaviors mentioned in the previous comments reflect my life now. However, I am suddenly so angry at everything…angry at him for not trying harder…angry at life for removing the man I once knew…just plain angry every day. Yes I understand MCI is the enemy here! I have become shrewish so I am angry at myself for becoming this way. I know this comes from fear about the future. These comments are helpful

I hear you. Why me? Why is the back end of our life ruined? I actually have
an ever-growing list of the things he does that tick me off and drive me
nuts. Somehow makes me feel better to articulate it somewhere. To counter
balance this, I keep a positive list. He's still trying to live a normal
life. Still here, not yet lost. Still can laugh and be amused. Still
interested in life and politics and new things and conversation and new
people. You're reaction to this challenge is completely normal. The "in
sickness and in health" thing is at our doorstep. Harder than we thought if
we thought at all. I didn't. Go with the good days kiddo. The shoe could
have been on the other foot. (Says me who wants to scream because he just
asked me what day it is for the tenth time this morning. ) We're not nurses
or saints. My halo is always askew.

I find i can sort of tune out the repetitive questions and answer while my mind is on something else. It helps that there is usually just one question of the day.

My hubby is now in a phase where he calls friends repeatedly. I have texted to let them know what's going on and they are really understanding. They answer if they have time to talk or call when they're free.
I'm really grateful for these great friends. One of the bright spots on these grey days.

Good friends.

I know what you mean. I think for my husband he has forgotten the names of things. If I tell him get a bowl for cereal he’ll comeback with a drinking glass I realized he’s functioning level of a three year old. Help him dress button the shirt help put shoes on, asking the same question over & over.

Repetitive questions: As a former hot head and impatient person, for the past two years I have learned to be incredibly patient with my wife's increasingly repetitive questions, even with our whiteboard and common digital calendar. I've learned to answer every question as if it were her first time asking it, calmly and patiently.

Hi, I'm reading all these blogs and praying your patience and understanding will rub off on me. I get a lot of push back after my husband asks for my help or opinion. Sometimes i want to protect myself by not helping him. He is also high functioning with a horrible memory. I really don’t know how to do this. He squelches all my ideas, and yes i have been educating myself about the disease for 12 years now. Im trying so hard to protect us from all his mistakes, but he resents me. He says thats not true but thats how i feel.
He doesn’t fit the different dementia types. My flesh is hurting and I want to run. No family to talk to, no one wants to hear our stories.
One foot in front of the other day by day.
You may call me Debbie Downer.

Twelve years! Yikes. I'm so sorry that you're having such a wretched time. I understand your desire for escape and your feelings of hopelessness. All the advice about being patient and non-confrontational, about knowing it's the disease not the real person, is fine and dandy but actually subduing your own natural reactions is truly a challenge. When I feel angry or have to shout because my husband can't hear and refuses to have his hearing aids checked, I hate the sound of my own voice. My sleep was so disrupted by my husband's nighttime restlessness that I've asked him to sleep separately so I can get the sleep I need to get through the days. I don't have it nearly as bad as many on this site, but I'm sure my turn will come when caring for him will become more difficult physically. I'm 79 and have a serious heart condition and am supposed to avoid stress. Good luck with that! You're not a Debbie Downer; you're just honest.

Hi, all. I was my wife's caregiver for her 14+ years' war and can understand all the incredible and difficult demands that caregiving put on us.

While I know everyone is different in this journey, one thing I used to help me day-to-day was to remind myself, first thing every day, that one day, she'd no longer be alive with me.

Now, years after her passing, I can say the loss and grief I feel from her death greatly outweigh the inconveniences, exhaustion, and more that I felt from all the caregiving tasks, questions, etc.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

This is a great place to vent. No one is judging you. I just wish I had the fortitude to stand up to him in the earlier stages of his dementia. He had always had sound judgment. Now I am the Sally Sour. He doesn’t remember his unsound choices he made but I sure do.