Probably not ever going to be officially diagnosed

He enjoys anything that has to do with hunting or fishing, travel, and farming (he grew up on a farm), cooking, and he enjoys listening music clips. Sometimes he will just go through and stop on whatever may catch his interest.

I identify with everything you're saying. All the shared activities have pretty much gone by the wayside. I don't even want to go anywhere with my husband because it's too embarrassing. He talks to everyone he meets and tells the same stories over and over, often to people he's told before but forgotten. There's a coffee shop he loves to go to and so far the people there seem to put up with him. It's at the edge of the university campus where my husband used to work and he sees lots of students. He loves talking to them. He used to go to our local zoo and loved that so much but he was barred and told never to return. Too many magic tricks for too many children. He tells me the same things and, like you want to talk to a women, I want to talk to a man. My brother-in-law was here for a visit a couple of weeks ago and it wonderful talking to a man who could carry on a conversation. I know you see the danger of finding a woman to talk to, but I'll share something here I would never share with my husband. I've reconnected with an old college boyfriend and we email frequently. We live on opposite sides of the country so there's really no danger, but the support I get from him makes all the difference. I can tell him what I'm going through and discuss other things too. A virtual conversation. I can't do this with my husband if I feel isolated. I don't want to hurt my husband and never would, but I can't spend my last years (I'm 79 with a recently diagnosed aortic aneurysm) in acute loneliness.
The only diagnosed we have so far is: dementia. Next week we see a neurologist, but even with a clear diagnosis I'm not sure that would make a difference. We can't stop what's happening. I do want to know what we're dealing with but I'm not looking to the medical industry for real help. I think hiring a nice person to clean my house would be more useful.

My wife is on her phone for "hours".

She watches Reels and general videos. Incommunicado!

She is "phased out" of her surroundings even. I can say something, but she is not aware.

Her immune system is the last frontier. Brain scan came back "mild".

She has frequent UTI issues. Supposed to monitor her bedding and make certain she showers regularly.

UTI issues cause a decrease in white blood cells. And, CONFUSION.

@keithcarey84, I'm sorry to hear that your wife has checked out. UTIs can cause incredible frightening side effects like confusion, halluncintations and dementia-like symptoms. Have they been able to get the infection under control? Has she also been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment?

A follow up to my earlier post: We saw the neurologist (P.A. actually) and my husband had a through exam that lasted about 1/1/2 hrs. That was helpful, to be sure, and what was also of great benefit was the large packet of information I was given. In simple terms, the stages, prognosis, and methods of dealing with significant changes were spelled out in ways that were both helpful and encouraging. Besides this group, the neurologist provided more information and support than I've found anywhere else. Friends are wonderful and supportive but they know even less about this condition than I do. I depend on them but I need professional help too and now I feel I have it. When in doubt, consult a sympathetic, competent neurologist. My understanding is that they're not all the same. If you don't find what suits your needs, seek a second opinion and make a change if you have to. Our neurologist brought up second opinions and had absolutely no problem with it.

i sent you a huge reply that did not "take". have 2 questions about my experience with Linda so far.

I will retype later today - Sunday

That’s incredible to have consult for dementia and walk out positive with a renewed perspective! He or she must be very special indeed. Knowledge is a valuable thing. Until I encountered this with my family member, I had no clue what the symptoms were.

I've known something was wrong for up to four years. Hubs had a dementia diagnosis from our primary physician over a year ago but the word Alzheimer's hadn't been used before. It was a relief, if you can call it that, to have the diagnosis confirmed and the neurologist and social worker who was in on the consult were extremely helpful. I feel better because I have a better idea of what's to come and how to plan for it. My main difficulty now is getting my husband to accept that he has this disease. He doesn't want to have it. Who would? But I'd like him to be part of our planning for as long as he is able.

I understand your concerns. I hope your husband is able to do that. I will share that when my cousin would agree to something….the next day she was likely to deny she did it. She’d be adamant she never promised to enter assisted living. Trusting them to get on board and share the planning and processing just isn’t anything I’ve encountered with my family members who have had dementia. It’s been denial and resistance. I hope your experience is different

The changes you describe are strongly suggestive of some form of dementia, and/or mental illness. Highly educated professional people can be difficult to diagnose because they are able to compensate for some cognitive losses better than the average person, or to just cover the impairment up. It would be helpful to notify her doctor privately of your concerns, with specific examples of changes, that might allow him to order some targeted screening tests such as blood and urine tests and perhaps an MRI. She might or might not accept his recommendation of neuropshychological testing, which could provide much more information. Are you observing significant short term memory lapses, changes in her language function, repeating herself? Has she gotten lost while driving or had minor accidents? Is she able to manage finances (keep up with bank balances, pay bills on time)? Or is her husband managing all the finances? Does she do grocery shopping and make appropriate purches? Is she able to follow a recipe or cook a meal? Some patients with dementia are aware of their cognitive loss and fret about it. Others are either unaware or are in total denial, despite the evidence. Without a definitive diagnosis it is difficult (impossible) to make decisions. It cerainly would be beneficial to have general power of attorney, wills, living wills and healthcare powers of attorney in place for her and your dad if at all possible. It is a nightmare to have to go through courts to get things done. Good luck.