Preparing to Age in Place

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Apr 23 7:58am

Many of us in the Aging Well Support Group express similar concerns. We are currently doing o.k. in our homes, on our own, but recognize that disabilities may be on our horizons.
Can we be reasonably proactive about this?
What can we do to stay in our homes as long as possible?
What can we do to gracefully reach out for assistance when we need it?
What can we expect the costs will be as we try to imagine the economies of our lives as we age?
What modifications can we make now that will make life easier when we have less strength and energy?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@scottrl

I'm facing the same thing with my personal library. Books I won't live long enough to re-read, books on subjects I've lost interest in, etc.

It's really painful because nobody wants books anymore, so I literally can't give them away. Heartbreaking.

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I've gotten rid of a lot of books using PaperBackSwap.com. Yes, some books are simply out of date and won't move. And as my interests change, the first place I go to request a book is Paperbackswap.com. If nobody wants the books I've listed on PaperBackSwap.com, I leave them posted for 1 year, then they go to the Public Library's book sale. They take any and all. Your local library may have guidelines on when you can donate and how many you can donate at a time so it is wise to check with them. I have been very surprised at what books are requested of me through PaperBackSwap.com; some that I thought nobody would want do go to someone else. There are people who still do want books!

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@dreams999

How do I write to u

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@SusanEllen66

Address me using the above “address” with the @ first

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@SusanEllen66

@SusanEllen66

Address me using the above “address” with the @ first

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What do I put before the @

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@dreams999

What do I put before the @

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@dreams999 Nothing.
See how
I just did yours.
Before you start typing the Message, use the @ and then type the name

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I’ve always done things ahead of when I need them. Going thru stages of life, I’ve been calling agencies to age at home. All I can say is SAVE YOUR MONEY because you will need it for caregiving. My biggest worry would be to have plenty of food in the house and general errands. We all age differently. I believe as long as dementia does not hit, we will be ok.
I never gave much thought to getting older, but I think about it now since I’m in my young 80s. I hope my non smoking, non drinking and general healthy lifestyle will pay off. So many friends are no longer living. Difficult to look at their photos. There is help out therefor us ageing seniors AT A PRICE.
those lucky enough to own a home, there is always a reverse mortgage.

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@edsutton

Let us know how it goes.

Here's an example of what can be done.
One of our neighbors has complex health problems, including early onset dementia. She shares a home with an old friend and has daytime helpers about 30 hours a week. The helpers' job is mostly to help her focus and decide how to manage her life.
Left to herself she gets hopelessly confused and frenzied, but with her helpers she can organize her day and stay fairly stable. Her memory for "things to be done today" is pretty good, but she can't organize, plan and set goals without help.
The current situation is manageable and preferable to going into memory care. She has many friends close by and loves to help garden, care for animals and such tasks that support her need for purpose and sense of place. I don't know the details, but the family worked with local care providers to come up with the current arrangement. It took a few trials, but when the right home help people were found, improvement was quick.

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Home help is very expensive especially in California, your neighbor will probably go on to full blown dementia.
I truly believe we will be ok as long as Alzheimer’s/dementia does not happen.

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@scottrl

I'm facing the same thing with my personal library. Books I won't live long enough to re-read, books on subjects I've lost interest in, etc.

It's really painful because nobody wants books anymore, so I literally can't give them away. Heartbreaking.

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I give extra books to charity. They can do what they want with them.

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@joanland

I've gotten rid of a lot of books using PaperBackSwap.com. Yes, some books are simply out of date and won't move. And as my interests change, the first place I go to request a book is Paperbackswap.com. If nobody wants the books I've listed on PaperBackSwap.com, I leave them posted for 1 year, then they go to the Public Library's book sale. They take any and all. Your local library may have guidelines on when you can donate and how many you can donate at a time so it is wise to check with them. I have been very surprised at what books are requested of me through PaperBackSwap.com; some that I thought nobody would want do go to someone else. There are people who still do want books!

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Thanks for the suggestion!

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Everything I've done in my ongoing project "Preparing to Age in Place" has given me immediate benefit in my day-to-day work of living.
Though at first I was motivated by concern for future disability and needs, now I am also motivated by a feeling of freshness and ease in my daily life, and I want more!

Getting rid of unnecessary stuff is part of this.
Making our home safe and easy to care for is another.
Completing medical, legal and financial documents is another.
Learning about available professional help before we need it gives a needed sense of reality.

Lately I seem to have more time and energy for community work and friendships: immediate pleasure and learning, and a source of emotional support.

I think we must recognize that "adapting to change" is going to be a major part of living. Reducing the "weight" of our living structures can make it easier to adapt. It's a lot easier changing the course of a cabin cruiser than changing the course of an aircraft carrier!

55 years ago I was 20 and my neighbor "Poppy" was 100 years old. We lived near Broadway and 72 St. in Manhattan. "We must adjust ourselves to the prevailing conditions, and do the very best we can to pull our own wagon!" was Poppy's favorite saying, always said with a little chuckle. The memory makes me very happy.

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@thisismarilynb

I am 89 years old and still living in my home and independent. What helped me to decide to stay in my home was visiting a couple of facilities that advertise independent living. I found the apartments were very small and that I would not be able to bring my own furniture and other things with me. The rents are not cheap either. So far I am managing with a cleaning helper who comes every three weeks and a gardener who comes every month. I am extremely fortunate to now have anything major wrong with me. I have a torn tendon in my right arm but it does not need surgery. This afternoon I go to physical therapy to make arrangements for 12 sessions. I do not need to take a bunch of drugs. This definitely helps. I can and do still drive so I do not need to depend on anyone to get me to where I need to be. At my age I cannot know how long I will be on this earth or if I will need any assisted living. But based on what I read about the costs, I believe it will be cheaper for me to hire my own assistants to come here where I am comfortable.

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I totally agree. Most assisted living facilities fall short when it comes time to really need help. Hiring private care in your own home is much more economical, and comfortable.

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