Preparing to Age in Place

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Apr 23 7:58am

Many of us in the Aging Well Support Group express similar concerns. We are currently doing o.k. in our homes, on our own, but recognize that disabilities may be on our horizons.
Can we be reasonably proactive about this?
What can we do to stay in our homes as long as possible?
What can we do to gracefully reach out for assistance when we need it?
What can we expect the costs will be as we try to imagine the economies of our lives as we age?
What modifications can we make now that will make life easier when we have less strength and energy?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@edsutton

Your question is very broad.
The web link is to a page from the Aging Life care Association, a national organization of health care professionals who have skills and knowledge to help people find assistance needed as we grow old and ill. The link will tell you about individuals in your area.

One of the local members came and talked to our neighborhood "eldertea" meeting, talking about the range of options available when we need help. She didn't charge for this.

And she stopped in our home to assess our environment for aging in place. Because we are close to major universities and medical schools, there are many resources, including health care majors who provide basic home help at minimum wage!

You'll have to try the link and see who is available in your area. (just enter your zip code.)

Since you are facing multiple illnesses, I hope you'll find someone soon who can help you plan your future needs, at home or in a care facility if necessary.

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@edsutton. Very good, I will do my best to check what’s available in my area.
Thank you, Susan

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@SusanEllen66

@edsutton. Very good, I will do my best to check what’s available in my area.
Thank you, Susan

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Let us know how it goes.

Here's an example of what can be done.
One of our neighbors has complex health problems, including early onset dementia. She shares a home with an old friend and has daytime helpers about 30 hours a week. The helpers' job is mostly to help her focus and decide how to manage her life.
Left to herself she gets hopelessly confused and frenzied, but with her helpers she can organize her day and stay fairly stable. Her memory for "things to be done today" is pretty good, but she can't organize, plan and set goals without help.
The current situation is manageable and preferable to going into memory care. She has many friends close by and loves to help garden, care for animals and such tasks that support her need for purpose and sense of place. I don't know the details, but the family worked with local care providers to come up with the current arrangement. It took a few trials, but when the right home help people were found, improvement was quick.

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I am very close to 90. My birthday is in September. I just read a very interesting article from Cleveland Clinic. It is all about the benefits of black tea. I gave up drinking coffee many many years ago and have been drinking black tea since then. I also was a race walker for many years and then just walked until my recent hip replacement. I do not have aches and pains or major diseases of which I am aware. I do not eat sweets. Not for health reasons, but I just don't like the taste. So I have done a lot of right/good things by accident and here I am. Unhappily my husband of 59 years passed away almost 3 years ago and I am having a very hard time dealing with the grief. Yet I still go on. I call myself a survivor.

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Marilyn-
After 59 years I don't suppose your husband will every fully pass away.
I hope you are still nurtured by the good times even as you surely struggle to realize he's not still here the way he used to be with you.

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@thisismarilynb

I am very close to 90. My birthday is in September. I just read a very interesting article from Cleveland Clinic. It is all about the benefits of black tea. I gave up drinking coffee many many years ago and have been drinking black tea since then. I also was a race walker for many years and then just walked until my recent hip replacement. I do not have aches and pains or major diseases of which I am aware. I do not eat sweets. Not for health reasons, but I just don't like the taste. So I have done a lot of right/good things by accident and here I am. Unhappily my husband of 59 years passed away almost 3 years ago and I am having a very hard time dealing with the grief. Yet I still go on. I call myself a survivor.

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thisismarilynb. I like your message. It's sensible and uplifting. You call yourself a survivor. You are that, that's for sure. But you are also a "Warrior". I'm very sorry for your loss. Perhaps you can find an advocacy group in your area that helps people through the loss of loved ones. Is there a senior center near you? You seem to have a youthful spirit. I'm sure you can find others who would love to sit and chat with you over a cup of black tea. Many blessings to you from above. CB

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@cb3

thisismarilynb. I like your message. It's sensible and uplifting. You call yourself a survivor. You are that, that's for sure. But you are also a "Warrior". I'm very sorry for your loss. Perhaps you can find an advocacy group in your area that helps people through the loss of loved ones. Is there a senior center near you? You seem to have a youthful spirit. I'm sure you can find others who would love to sit and chat with you over a cup of black tea. Many blessings to you from above. CB

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Thank you for your kind words. Never thought of myself as a warrior. I call myself a survivor mainly because at age 10 I had scarlet fever. There were no drugs back then. I was taken to a special hospital for people with communicable diseases and isolated. It took a month, but I survived. I do have a grief counselor. Right now she is dealing with a serious health problem with her elderly father. He is older than I am. We will pick up again mid July.

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@edsutton

Let us know how it goes.

Here's an example of what can be done.
One of our neighbors has complex health problems, including early onset dementia. She shares a home with an old friend and has daytime helpers about 30 hours a week. The helpers' job is mostly to help her focus and decide how to manage her life.
Left to herself she gets hopelessly confused and frenzied, but with her helpers she can organize her day and stay fairly stable. Her memory for "things to be done today" is pretty good, but she can't organize, plan and set goals without help.
The current situation is manageable and preferable to going into memory care. She has many friends close by and loves to help garden, care for animals and such tasks that support her need for purpose and sense of place. I don't know the details, but the family worked with local care providers to come up with the current arrangement. It took a few trials, but when the right home help people were found, improvement was quick.

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@edsutton right at this very moment, mild Alzheimer’s is the least of my worries. I’ve been living alone for 7 wonderful years, and I could probably continue to for several years more if I didn’t suffer with more brain diseases.

I have 2 different neurological diseases that have movement , nerve, muscle, + much more consequences for me.
The newest one is Stiff Person’s Syndrome . It’s very rare (1 in a million) and there are few doctors who have treated anyone with it. It presents with extreme muscle spasms especially in the torso, and lots of other things. I need to use a walker now, and if I try standing for 10 min. my back goes into a spasm, and I MUST sit.

The other disorder is Ataxia. It’s caused by several reasons including genetic, and damage to the cerebellum. That damages the fine motor muscle movements around the eyes, and mouth. I have double vision caused by my brain so glasses can not help.
I also causes trouble with the gait. So the walker is important.

So, I believe I am in a crazy position. I need to speak with a neurologist who specializes in movement disorders. I need to find out if they can advise me about the progression of the 2 diseases.

Susan

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This is a gentle reminder to address your Comments to the person you are responding, or writing to.

It gets confusing when the messages are posted without the recipient address.

Their address is the @…….

For example, if you want to write only to me, @SusanEllen66
That is my address.

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@bunnybear

We really need a discussion here about what private insurance, Medicare, Medicare Advantage, and Medicaid pay for in home care. There is wide-spread belief that Medicare only pays for a few days and will only do that after a hospital visit. But we just learned that regular Medicare will pay for about 100 days of in-home care for my son in law who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and has to have someone with him all the time for his safety. When that runs out, Medicaid will add in-home caregivers prior to the need for nursing home care, but I’m not sure for how long. I wonder if any of this can help your situation. My daughter just had to pay an attorney a bundle to learn about Medicaid. This expense should be unnecessary, but I digress. She learned that there are 13 states that don’t take all a working spouses retirement plan savings when a dependent spouse is in that period, both when they require nursing care at home and after they enter a nursing home. This is such important information but even the in/home health agency I spoke with did not know it. However, I verified it was true with an elder law attorney.

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What are the 13 states? Thank you.

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@bunnybear

We really need a discussion here about what private insurance, Medicare, Medicare Advantage, and Medicaid pay for in home care. There is wide-spread belief that Medicare only pays for a few days and will only do that after a hospital visit. But we just learned that regular Medicare will pay for about 100 days of in-home care for my son in law who has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and has to have someone with him all the time for his safety. When that runs out, Medicaid will add in-home caregivers prior to the need for nursing home care, but I’m not sure for how long. I wonder if any of this can help your situation. My daughter just had to pay an attorney a bundle to learn about Medicaid. This expense should be unnecessary, but I digress. She learned that there are 13 states that don’t take all a working spouses retirement plan savings when a dependent spouse is in that period, both when they require nursing care at home and after they enter a nursing home. This is such important information but even the in/home health agency I spoke with did not know it. However, I verified it was true with an elder law attorney.

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@bunnybear hello, everyone’s situation is so different.

If you own any assets ie. House, stocks, cash you have a problem getting Medicaid. You can’t have more than $2000 if you are single.

I’m trying to figure it all out. However, everyone’s situation is different.

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