Recognizing my own bias or prejudice .....

Posted by ellerbracke @ellerbracke, Aug 31, 2019

I know I am very guilty of classifying people in general, and regarding weight in particular. Living in the bible/heart attack/ diabetes belt, it simply blows my mind how many obese people I see every single day when out and about. Granted, fewer of those at Dillard’s than Walmart. Still, in addition to being concerned, I am also judging those people. I know I should not, but how in the world can someone get that fat? It would take years of dedicated overeating to reach that. No, I really don’t think that all of them have a medical issue, seeing what’s in their grocery carts. Someone help me get a less judgmental attitude when I’ve been semi-denying myself all those chips and cookies and fries for decades?? I live and eat well, but treats should be treats, not daily food.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk group.

@imallears

@jakeduck
Wonders never cease. You should try a piece of dark chocolate with coconut. The taste is not what you think it would be…not like the old almond joy coconut candy bar which I hated. I have coconut vinegar at home and it is great sprinkled over strawberries…just a sprinkle…again the taste is not what you think it will be. Gotta try it before you knock it.

FL Mary

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@imallears I'll certainly try it! You have some of the best food ideas!

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@imallears

@jakeduck
Wonders never cease. You should try a piece of dark chocolate with coconut. The taste is not what you think it would be…not like the old almond joy coconut candy bar which I hated. I have coconut vinegar at home and it is great sprinkled over strawberries…just a sprinkle…again the taste is not what you think it will be. Gotta try it before you knock it.

FL Mary

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@imallears
Actually, although far from my favorite I can scarf down a Mound, not very often though. I think all dark chocolate that I’ve tasted is dreadful but I’ll look for some with coconut in it. I don’t plan on liking it though. But like you say “Wonders never cease” so who knows.
For the life of me, I’ll never figure out how you come up with all these concoctions but I guess every now and then you must find something that’s half way palatable. Of course what’s good to you and what’s actually tasty, well, you know 😋
Jake

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@jakedduck1

@imallears
Actually, although far from my favorite I can scarf down a Mound, not very often though. I think all dark chocolate that I’ve tasted is dreadful but I’ll look for some with coconut in it. I don’t plan on liking it though. But like you say “Wonders never cease” so who knows.
For the life of me, I’ll never figure out how you come up with all these concoctions but I guess every now and then you must find something that’s half way palatable. Of course what’s good to you and what’s actually tasty, well, you know 😋
Jake

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@jakeduck
You can re educate your taste buds. You have to be willing to try new things. All my healthy foods I happen to love but I also love cheese cake and pizza. The first time I tasted deer meat (yes Bambi) I didn’t like it so never ate it again but at least I tried it. I have tried bluefish several times and still don’t like it. Wouldn’t try sushi for so many years….took the plunge…oh my so good! Now eat it semi regularly. My love for wine grew over many years from a wine spritzer to a sweetish rose and now only dry whites and full bodied reds. See, there is hope for you…the trick is to get these foods cooked properly and try someone’s else’s if you can…. like the dreaded Octopus.
It ain’t gonna kill ya.

FL Mary

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@hopeful33250

@imallears I'll certainly try it! You have some of the best food ideas!

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@hopeful33250

Thank you! And take that and that Leonard!

Laughing FL Mary

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@hopeful33250

@imallears I'll certainly try it! You have some of the best food ideas!

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@hopeful33250
Well Teresa that’s not exactly how I’d phrase it.
Hurricane Mary definitely has some of the weirdest food ideas, now that’s a fact. I think that’s probably what Teresa meant Mary. She has even brainwashed her family with these bazaar foods. I often wonder if she is the creator of Bazaar Foods that Andrew Zimmern hosts.
Jake

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@ellerbracke good for you to make such a brave confession of an unwanted prejudice. I'm pleased to see that members treated this topic honestly and respectfully, without judgement, keeping Connect open, respectful and inclusive.

Such unwanted, or in some cases hidden, prejudices are recognized as implicit or unconscious bias. You can read more on Project Insight’s website which is an Harvard founded organization that studies unconscious bias: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

Recognizing one's unconscious bias is the first step to changing them. @ellerbracke @georgette12, @imallears, @ihtak46 @jakedduck1, when you notice biased thoughts, how do you try to change your judgement or unwanted bias?

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@imallears

@jakeduck
Wonders never cease. You should try a piece of dark chocolate with coconut. The taste is not what you think it would be…not like the old almond joy coconut candy bar which I hated. I have coconut vinegar at home and it is great sprinkled over strawberries…just a sprinkle…again the taste is not what you think it will be. Gotta try it before you knock it.

FL Mary

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@imallears I like extra dark chocolate and find it sweet. I like making chocolate, chia pudding. Sometimes I even make it with all natural peanut butter. Tastes like a reeses cup and no sugar added!!!

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@ellerbracke

General comment: I found that my taste to candy/truffles etc. runs more to Godiva than Hershey – or, forbid, Whitman's – so I am severely limited how many I get to enjoy. $$$ But, once I get them I truly enjoy. Roughly 3 times a year, but well worth the wait

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@ellerbracke If you think Godiva is good, try Burdick’s. It’s in a small NH town but they now have shops in NYC, Boston, and Harvard square in Cambridge. They were named as the best chocolate in the country one year by Consumers Reports, and they are decadent, but of course pricey. I’ve been in the Harvard square shop and had hot chocolate. It was an ecstatic experience! They make each cup to order, dark chocolate, milk chocolate or white chocolate. Their fame started with their chocolate mice.
https://www.burdickchocolate.com/
JK

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@contentandwell

@ellerbracke If you think Godiva is good, try Burdick’s. It’s in a small NH town but they now have shops in NYC, Boston, and Harvard square in Cambridge. They were named as the best chocolate in the country one year by Consumers Reports, and they are decadent, but of course pricey. I’ve been in the Harvard square shop and had hot chocolate. It was an ecstatic experience! They make each cup to order, dark chocolate, milk chocolate or white chocolate. Their fame started with their chocolate mice.
https://www.burdickchocolate.com/
JK

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@contentandwell
JK, you know your killing me here don’t you. White chocolate hot chocolate delish!!! Guess I’m gonna have to order more candy. Somebody’s goal here is to get me fat.
Jake

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@ethanmcconkey

@ellerbracke good for you to make such a brave confession of an unwanted prejudice. I'm pleased to see that members treated this topic honestly and respectfully, without judgement, keeping Connect open, respectful and inclusive.

Such unwanted, or in some cases hidden, prejudices are recognized as implicit or unconscious bias. You can read more on Project Insight’s website which is an Harvard founded organization that studies unconscious bias: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

Recognizing one's unconscious bias is the first step to changing them. @ellerbracke @georgette12, @imallears, @ihtak46 @jakedduck1, when you notice biased thoughts, how do you try to change your judgement or unwanted bias?

Jump to this post

@ethanmcconkey

Thanks for your post, Ethan. Doing a turn-a-round when I feel bias is not an easy task. After I recognize the bias (it usually is accompanied with a churning in the stomach, etc.) I think of that person's situation in life and consider that they may appear the way they do because of unresolved emotional conflicts which have caused them to put on weight, drink, smoke, use drugs, etc. I remember what a radio psychologist said a long time ago, "There is a reason for all behavior." That is so true. If your behavior is exemplary or out-of-tune with what is healthy, there is a reason. Facing that reason can be a very difficult task.

Any other thoughts from the others in this discussion.

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@parus

@imallears I like extra dark chocolate and find it sweet. I like making chocolate, chia pudding. Sometimes I even make it with all natural peanut butter. Tastes like a reeses cup and no sugar added!!!

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@parus
Oh yum Ihave all the ingredients. Is that the one with maple syrup?

FL Mary

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@ethanmcconkey

@ellerbracke good for you to make such a brave confession of an unwanted prejudice. I'm pleased to see that members treated this topic honestly and respectfully, without judgement, keeping Connect open, respectful and inclusive.

Such unwanted, or in some cases hidden, prejudices are recognized as implicit or unconscious bias. You can read more on Project Insight’s website which is an Harvard founded organization that studies unconscious bias: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

Recognizing one's unconscious bias is the first step to changing them. @ellerbracke @georgette12, @imallears, @ihtak46 @jakedduck1, when you notice biased thoughts, how do you try to change your judgement or unwanted bias?

Jump to this post

@ethanmcconkey
That’s a provocative question. If I do encounter bias in myself, which doesn’t happen too often, Im happy to say, I usually know the reason. That reason is I have fallen into the stereotype trap. However, if you think about or examine the reason for that stereotype you’ll often find that some of that judgement is legitimate. Don’t know if Im explaining that coherently but bias is not always a clearly defined attitude. Also I doubt there is one unbiased person on this planet. The important thing is that you recognize it and try not to act on it. You may never rid yourself of it but there’s no need to be vocal about it either.

As you age and learn and experience I think you get rid of a lot of preconceived notions and attitudes…a sort of mellowing. Although I encounter too many elderly who haven’t changed one bit over the years. I also think my adult grandchildren’s Generation is more open and honest, loving and forgiving.

My thoughts on this really hot FL day…so hot I decided to return home to my AC. Wishing it were snowing here.

FL Mary

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